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I hope he buys some furniture expecting it to be fully built and it arrives flat-packed needing 3.5 hours of assembly and on the final page he realizes the all important Bolt-K is missing and has to go back to the shop.

We played a bit shit and picked up a point against a limited but hard working side. We were top, and now we're not. But I'm fucked if I'm going to let it spoil my day. Especially since my youngest put in a Gerrardesque performance for his team today. They were short of players and by the end of the game he'd played in defence, midfield and up front, scored his side's only goal and at one point ran half the length of the pitch to put the ball and opposition player into touch by his own corner flag.

He'd probably ask for Klopps medal

Because it's derby week, I was just thinking about other derbies. Remember the one when Suarez celebrated by diving in front of Gollum? We had a perfectly good injury time goal disallowed, which would have been the winner. How many of us bang on about that? How many of us can name the ref? Imagine if it were them who had the goal disallowed. They'd all know the ref's name, address, phone number, PIN, star sign and favourite pasta dish.

@TitiCamara22: Get straight into the mongrels today #EVELIV #YNWA

This is what a title winning side does, draws the big games away and powers through at home. I'm looking at our fixtures and we can get 27 points out of 27. The only two hard ones are at home and the crowd will be immense for those games because it has to be. I still think we're on here. City will drop at least 2 points somewhere. Get behind the lads 100% and lets see what happens. Fuck being negative.

Celebrating a famous 0-0 draw at home to stay in 10th, thats some proper small club behaviour that.

A staggering collapse even by our Everest sized standards, we laugh at Spurs but really is there a bigger team of shithouses than us?

We have Keita and Shaq on the bench and he chooses Milner and Lallana. Beyond the pale that shit. Klopps really at fault for this result. Fucking dogshit subs.

Hearing Leicester conceded their first goal under Brendan from a set-piece?

I stayed in a "boutique" B&B in Shrewsbury last night and was presented with this for breakfast this morning.

Good points this. Our season in the league is beyond excellent. One game lost in March and an unbelievable points tally. We’re winning or drawing the games we don’t play well. We’ve made keeping clean sheets a habit. And on our day we’re one of the best attacking teams in world football. Klopp has taken us from also rans on a road to nowhere to a team able to compete with the best again. On one hand I’d be totally gutted if we don’t win the league this season, as our perfomance level deserve it. On the other hand the fact that we’re competing with a plastic club on artificial fundings in a strange way makes it more bearable. Somewhere along the way football lost it’s way and it somehow means less now than it used to.

It's the Liverpool way to chuck the towel in at a bit of a hiccup along the way. Yes, we could be in a better position but Id have ripped your arm off to be 1 point behind city with 9 games left. Even if the footballing gods shit on us again, Id rather be where we are than fighting to finish 4th, 5th or 6th in a good season.

Probably the highlight of the game, unfortunately.

Your son gets on instead of Lallana next time.

We’re a point off the league leaders and we’ve only conceded 15 league goals this season. We’ve a good chance of reaching the quarter finals of the European Cup too.

A bit rubbish that. Big Virg and Fabinho both good. But not enough creativity through midfield and some really sloppy passing in the final third. It was always going to be a tough game against these game raisers. But I'm seeing a lot of resignation. It's back in City's hands. But we're 1 point off the top with 9 games to go. We need to snap out of a poor run of form, but it'll only take a City draw and a win from us to put it back in our hands. I'm still sitting back and enjoying the ride.

I thought we were absolutely outstanding, we showed tremendous character out there but just lacked that wee bit of quality in the final third. Have to laugh at the rush on here to declare our title chances over, though. It was similarly impossible at the start of the season as City were going to go unbeaten without conceding a goal. One point off top with what should be an easier run of games. More players than VVD and Mane need to stand up if we’re to have any chance, though.

I hope his trousers feel a little uncomfortable all day, and then yesterday's underpants fall out the leg when he is in the supermarket queue buying tea.

A handful of random thoughts... 1. I wish this game kicked off earlier. I’ve had enough of waiting for it. I wasn’t sure if I’d watch it and didn’t think about it too much yesterday but since I woke at 8am it’s consumed every moment of my idle thinking. Just fucking get on with it. 2. They’re shit, which concerns me. 3. I’m glad I had a spicy Chinese last night to make this mornings shit sting a little. It’s given me focus.

My take is that George does a great job. He promotes local culture and plays song that we have adopted too. It all goes south when he hands over to the pitch side fella who does the team sheet readout like a local DJ at a ten year old's party. It's a bit cringey.

Our nextdoor neighbours always fight and we hear them if we open the cupboard under the stairs and listen intently, which we do. The other week he told her to get out of bed and clean the house or he would stab her. She turned to me and says "I'm so lucky you know?" Keeping that bar nice and low.

It's interesting how it's only recently become a thing for politicians to post grief they've had on social media in order to elicit sympathy and excuse any of their words and actions. Personally I think it's another aspect of the fact most of them think the average Joe is a scumbag. That's provably true of Umuna based on some of his past comments about trash in nightclubs, I imagine Berger probably thinks it about a lot of her constituents too. Posting something that Jeff58 posted about you on Twitter and indicating that this is just typical of the 'vile everyday abuse' you've been subjected to in order to get applause and be given carte blanche to dissmiss and vilify whole demographics of people is pretty fucking low and shit. Steven Gerrard has been followed by gangsters, Jill Dando got shot in the head, household names get shit - twas ever thus, Twitter shit ranks pretty low unless you're trying to push an agenda, and not a single one of us on here who's ever been on Twitter has probably not been subjected to some abuse on there. Maybe that's why they're such staunch remainers too - poor people are thick and shouldn't be given a choice. The fact remains the only MP to be murdered was done so by a man shouting Britain first. And not a single person convicted of abusing Luciana Berger was a member of the Labour party. Umuna and Berger can get to fuck. They're illegally occupying those seats under false pretence IMO, elected by people to fulfil an agenda which they've done nothing but try to destroy for their own ends. Pair of cunts.

We need to keep buying players of the level of van dijk, fabinho. Dont waste a penny on do a job players, we already have those.

Camilla Parker Bowles Theresa May A big bag of fizz and a load of suppositories.

Why on earth would you think that? I've been an avid and active fan for over 40 years and Ive been very privileged and fortunate to witness and enjoy amazing success but on the flip side more recently I have also been at Wembley, Basle and Kiev and witnessed a lot of these players and manager totally shit the bed when glory beckons. It's becoming a pattern. I yearn for LFC's success.

City have a horrendous schedule coming up that will test even their squad and a few injuries. They will drop points. This week we took 5 points from 3 horrible games. It is what it is but we have made a small dent in their gd and we have two less horrible aways. I would have bitten my hand off for 7 plus but 5 isn't a complete disaster. Yeah they're top but our run in is easier. They have to go to old trafford.

Fabinho gini and kieta. Stick with it regardless.

There goes our 7 point lead, at this rate city will win the title by 15 points. Keita and Shaqiri might as well hand in their transfer request after this season when the manager has more faith in Lallana.

Milner's been a fucking joke. Waste of a sub.

Martin Atkinson is an horrendous referee, totally pro-Manc bias. Although he hasn't been horrendously shit so far, rest assured he will be. Bobby and Shaq better be ready. COME ON RED MEN, BATTER THESE BASTARDS. Rushy's there and will fuck them up with his Flint voodoo magic.

Yorkshire puddings

Everton. No self awareness at all.

In wales, we always win in wales....

UEFA in human form:

I hope that when he's going to the refuse-tip with some piss-stained old bathroom lino, that as he's heaving it up into the skip it unrolls over him - and he has to wrestle it over the edge of the skip; and the Polish fellas who work there don't help him, they just try to stifle their laughter.

That's some next level empath shit.

Given the number of mouth breathers Dooley seems to have upset, I'm inclined to think she's ok, despite knowing barely anything about her, or this. Surely the greater good of Comic Relief outweighs the white saviour issue? To be honest, who cares anymore. Everyone is so polarised, so aggressive, so offended and, often, stupid that I've become numb to it. Just seems like people trying to do some honest good for others in need.

Metaphorically speaking, you have been doing this for quite some time.

One of the things I was told re powerpoint: keep each slide concise, don’t have a load of text and graphics, use more slides with less clutter so each one is clear. wit respect to leadership- always stress the attitude of including yerself in any directions, this is how we achieve, how are we going to tackle it. Lead from the front rather than managing or directing from the back. oh and drop in a few Shankly quotes on teamwork and togetherness. all simple stuff you probably know. Then once you have the job, yer can become a malignant fucker to yer underlines and climb the greasy pole! good luck dude.

I had a scouse pie at anfield the other week and I made a pan of scouse on Thursday. It was fucking fit

Not their fault. There has never been a decent human to play for the fucking redshite. Ever. Those who understand need no explanation, those who don’t something something Brian Labone and that.

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This thread is the perfect example of why we're all getting old and the world has quite simply left us behind, like the Elves waiting to sail to the Grey Havens Lord of the Rings. 'The time of the non-milenials is passed gandalf, it's off to pastures new for some Streetlighter 2 and Dire Straits, where we will reminisce about Jet from Galdiators and her lack of testis.'