The Ailment thread

[Captain Turdseye]

Puking up vast amounts of phlegm which is great fun when you've got swollen glands and a raging sore throat from tonsillitis.

 

Looks like another day of getting smashed off my face on strong painkillers.

[Captain Turdseye]

I don't suppose you do home made ice cream do you, Cath?

[Champ]

I don't suppose you do home made ice cream do you, Cath?

Nigella's margarita ice cream sounds like just the thing to me

[Bjornebye]

Cath - get baking

[Champ]

If only I could make it pay

[Alan Sex]

Send Champ a pic of your slong and you'll get some cookies to make you feel better.

Killing me softly, with his schlong.....

[3 Stacks]

Just got diagnosed with Epididymitis which is a testicle infection. Anyone on here ever had it?

[stringvest]

Just got diagnosed with Epididymitis which is a testicle infection. Anyone on here ever had it?

 

 

Ken Dodd?

[3 Stacks]

My left nut looks like a fucking kumquat.

[stringvest]

My left nut looks like a fucking kumquat.

 

 

antibiotics will sort it.  That and energetic and continuous wanking.

[3 Stacks]

antibiotics will sort it.  That and energetic and continuous wanking.

 

Yeah, I just got some.

 

I didn't ask the doc about wanking, but I'll go ahead and assume that I shouldn't for a while. Just thought about how glorious the nut will be when it's healed though. Can't wait. 

[Alan Sex]

antibiotics will sort it.  That and energetic and continuous wanking.

Reminds me of when I had a bad infection after my vasectomy.

 

Wanking hurt like hell.

 

Nobody noticed as I always cry when I wank anyway.

[Carvalho Diablo]

antibiotics will sort it. That and energetic and continuous wanking.

That's how he got into the pickle in the first place.

[Alan Sex]

That's how he got into the pickle in the first place.

Nope. It was probably ramming a ballpoint pen down his Japseye, rather than the wanking itself.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Nope. It was probably ramming a ballpoint pen down his Japseye, rather than the wanking itself.

I pity the poor pickle.

[Alan Sex]

I pity the poor pickle.

Much like the ballpoint, he's certainly in a pickle.

[Evelyn Tentions]

Just got diagnosed with Epididymitis which is a testicle infection. Anyone on here ever had it?

Oh you poor twat. That should get you top of Champs baked goods list.

Had epididymo-orchitis about 3+ years ago. Testicle the size of an orange, hospital for 2 weeks. On and off antibiotics for years, causing  gut problems due to Clostridium, endone and norspan (slow release synthetic mega morphine) for a couple of years for constant pain. I did a pain management course late last year which has got me off the pain killers and has pretty much got me back to a normal lifestyle.

Testicle now the size of a cashew.

The only high spot was in hospital when a nurse came to give me a morphine jab. "It's just a little prick"."Yeah, but you should see the size of my testicle".

[3 Stacks]

Oh you poor twat. That should get you top of Champs baked goods list.

Had epididymo-orchitis about 3+ years ago. Testicle the size of an orange, hospital for 2 weeks. On and off antibiotics for years, causing  gut problems due to Clostridium, endone and norspan (slow release synthetic mega morphine) for a couple of years for constant pain. I did a pain management course late last year which has got me off the pain killers and has pretty much got me back to a normal lifestyle.

Testicle now the size of a cashew.

The only high spot was in hospital when a nurse came to give me a morphine jab. "It's just a little prick"."Yeah, but you should see the size of my testicle".

 

Fucking hell. Don't think mine will be as bad as yours though. Had crippling pain last night and had to go to the emergency room, but it's less painful today and I'm already on antibiotics.

 

What was the cause of yours? 

[Evelyn Tentions]

Fucking hell. Don't think mine will be as bad as yours though. Had crippling pain last night and had to go to the emergency room, but it's less painful today and I'm already on antibiotics.

 

What was the cause of yours? 

No idea. I had a really bad gastro attack at the time as well, following a day out fishing and a pizza on the way home. I've been fishing again but I've given that pizzeria a swerve.

[3 Stacks]

No idea. I had a really bad gastro attack at the time as well, following a day out fishing and a pizza on the way home. I've been fishing again but I've given that pizzeria a swerve.

 

Wow, yeah, doc couldn't say either. Might just be a bacterial infection that just finds it's way to your ball sack. 

[Bjornebye]

Bollocks to that

 

Sack that off

 

Etc

 

Hope you get better 3 sacks

[Captain Turdseye]

Completely irrelevant to this conversation but I watched a short documentary on the iPlayer last night about some American rapper that chopped his own knob off and jumped off a balcony while he was high on PCP.

 

The worst part of the story was that the poor fucker lived to tell the tale.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Dropped a lemonade bottle on my little toe this morning.

 

I think I might die.

[Alan Sex]

Just been told I have sciatica. Lower back is in absolute pain, for a week now.

 

Anyone had this bitch and got any tips for relief, beside the tramacet I just had prescribed.

[Bjornebye]

Dropped a lemonade bottle on my little toe this morning.

 

I think I might die.

 

 

 

Gone but not forgotten