Have a rant thread

[Champ]

My balls are fucking killing me' date=' they're huge!

 

XXX[/quote']

 

Ah, so you didn't lose them. I was a little concerned.

[lifetime fan]

Sarah Cox.

 

Cunt.

[Bjornebye]

I am seriously fucking stewing here.

 

One of the girls birthdays in the office today so we let them have an extended lunch and a glass of wine each, weather is fucking boss and a load of them had booked to finish at 3 to go out.

Said to them at half past that if they pull in 12 sales between them in the enxt half an hour they can leave at 2.

Fattest, ugliest, furry haired fucking lazy bitch of a cunt who has done fuck all all day apart from struggle to balance in her chair and text on her phone suddenly becomes the fucking life and soul of the party.

I dont mind people having the odd lazy day but this twat does it everyday and escapes fucking being pulled up on it because she doesn't directly report to me and has got this fucking hold over one of the other managers who is shit scared to do anything because fatty is a fucking HR expert.

 

I detest cunts like this, fucking money for nothing fuck-holes who do everything they can to cause arguments, shit stir, spread gossip and rumours then deny all knowledge, get away with doing the bear minimum work and fucking swan about on breaks and lunchtimes like they fucking run the joint.

her flip-flops make me sick. She has been wearing these shit flip-flop/sandals since the 1st of fucking march and everyday the office is exposed to these fucking disgusting fat talons that hang off the end like aggressive spiked cannons. her big toe's are longer than my arm. She fucking stinks as well, i swear one day I walked past and could smell actual shit. not a fart, or dog-poo on a flip-flop but actual shit.

 

I might chase her. i might chase them all and volley her in her fat mess of a fanny mound.

 

She is getting pulled in tomorrow, i'm sick of it.

 

 

 

HR expert? have this 'bang' i'm a fucking karate expert you fucking lazy shit whale

[Magic Sponge]

Outstanding rant that Stig.

 

I need to spread mate, unfortunately.

[Reacher]

Haha, ace!

[Rico1304]

I can't rep you Stig, but brilliant .

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Why is she even allowed to wear flip flops to work in an office environment ??, as ifs.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Another class post from Stig! Class! Just read the rule on 'dress code' am sure it does say appropriate footwear in the 'health and safety' bit,even in an office! Good luck!,

[TheBitch]

Fuckers sitting in the middle lane of the motorway. This fucks me off so much' date=' I want to ram these cunts off the road.

 

What the fuck are you doing there, oblivious to all that's going on around you, what the fucks wrong with that lane on the left with nobody in it and miles of open space ahead of you? What the fuck are you doing? You're a fucking hazard, you're probably a woman or an old bastard sat up close to the steering wheel. I fucking hate you, you dangerous cunt. If I had my way all you middle lane drivers would be scooped up in your shit cars and put on an island, I'd have a motorway built on the island and have you all drive around the middle lane following each other. Then I'd fucking nuke the island you fucking shit bastard. Die.[/quote']

 

http://m.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/jun/05/middle-lane-hoggers-face-tougher-fines

 

When TheBitch rants shit gets done.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Why do people who drop mates off in cars need to honk their horn as theyre driving away? Just say goodbye in the car you pillock

[Guest davelfc]

Motorway middle-lane hoggers to face higher fines

 

When TheBitch rants shit gets done.

 

Bloody government shitting on the motorist again!

 

Seriously though, if they follow this up with public safety announcements on TV ( not at 2am) or to really catch the fucking morons why not have a character in a soap get done for it, that appears to be the only fucking way to actually get into the thick skulls of most of the brain dead public these days.

 

I'm all for dickheads getting fined for turning fucking right on a roundabout after entering via the left lane. I'd also put the death penalty on pricks flinging their doors open so people like me have to hit the brakes to avoid taking off their door. Thus causing their daughter to spill an ice cream all over her fathers new car.

[stringvest]

Central Milton keynes. It happens a fair bit when noobs get confused on the grid system.

 

Either that or they just shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel of a car. Twats. It's bad enough trying to get past someone walking the opposite way down a pavement who can't make up their mind which way to go. Doing it in a car is altogether more fraught with peril.

[stringvest]

Just take her round the jet wash Stig. Gold wash. Tell her it's for her good, and the good of her colleagues. Aim the jet right in the folds. You might free up some loose change, TV remote, cotton buds, swabs, chocolate wrappers etc.

[Acid]

I am seriously fucking stewing here.

 

...

 

HR expert? have this 'bang' i'm a fucking karate expert you fucking lazy shit whale

 

I particularly liked the swan reference.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

People who cock up a Ryanair flight and moan! Bryan McFadden the other day,turning up with no boarding pass and over his baggage allowance,throwing a strop,getting the train instead of his flight,then easyjet home! Boarding passes? You get 15 days to do a 2 minute job,and an e mail to remind you! Baggage allowance? More than generous in my opinion at 15kg! Lets put it this way,if we had Michael Oleary in charge of this country,we wouldn't be in the shite we're in today!

[Champ]

People who cock up a Ryanair flight and moan! Bryan McFadden the other day,turning up with no boarding pass and over his baggage allowance,throwing a strop,getting the train instead of his flight,then easyjet home! Boarding passes? You get 15 days to do a 2 minute job,and an e mail to remind you! Baggage allowance? More than generous in my opinion at 15kg! Lets put it this way,if we had Michael Oleary in charge of this country,we wouldn't be in the shite we're in today!

 

Maybe not but you'd be paying for the fresh air you breathe

[lifetime fan]

Maybe not but you'd be paying for the fresh air you breathe

 

We'd have all those Noggie slaves though.

 

I'm in.

[RedBrian84]

Online bingo adverts.

 

No, you're not all mates having a fucking bbq on a fucking beach, you're all sat at home on your laptop with a fucking KFC bucket in one hand an a phone in the other making facebook statuses about how shit your life is.

[lifetime fan]

People who are unable to understand the concept of give and take, it's all take. And what's even worse are the cunts that never stop taking but all they ever fucking go on about is how much they do for everyone else.

 

For years I've swapped weekends off, not had weekends off, worked 48 hours (and more) on the bounce for people, postponed annual leave etc for these cunts and now I want to take a weeks leave next week no fucker can do anything to help cover my shifts.

 

I've not taken a single sick day or days compassionate leave since Carly has been unwell. I've always used my annual leave to attend hospital appointments, even when I wanted a day off after being told it was terminal I took leave rather than ring in sick and drop people in the shit.

 

Now I've a slag that moans like fuck whenever there's not enough overtime for her not wanting to help out because she's too tired from looking after her grandkids on a Monday.

 

Some rat faced prick whose had 26 weeks off sick in the last year unable to come in 90 minutes early for a shift because he'll 'hit traffic'. I'll hit the scrawny wanker into the middle of next year if he's not careful.

 

Cunt number 2 had a baby nearly 9 months ago so can't possibly change any shift times at all, even on weekends when her husband is at home because she can't 'alter the baby's routine'. I've not even asked the lazy oxygen thief to do any extra hours because I won't waste my own breath. But you know maybe swap an early to a late in case I can get someone to work on the weekend morning. Not a chance.

 

And the one lanky fucker that would sometimes help is in Scotland for a fortnight.

 

I'll have next week off, if need be I'll just ring my bosses at 4 when I finish today and tell them I'm off and won't be back in for 2 weeks (I've already got the week of the 16th booked off), but that isn't the point.

 

I've gone out of my way for these cunts for years and not one of them is prepared to give even the slightest bit back.

 

Trouble is I'm one stubborn prick and I can't wait for them to start asking to swap shifts or move my holiday as they should have first refusal on time off in school holidays etc.

 

I'm actually looking forward to saying, 'I could, but I'm not going to because I don't like you. I'm going to sit at home bored, thinking of all the work I could actually be getting done and make my working life a bit harder just for the satisfaction of pissing you off'!

[Guest davelfc]

I'm actually looking forward to saying, 'I could, but I'm not going to because I don't like you. I'm going to sit at home bored, thinking of all the work I could actually be getting done and make my working life a bit harder just for the satisfaction of pissing you off'!

 

Can't stand selfish bastards, hope you do stick it to them.

 

I had some bastard that was on another shift, they always relieved us on our last shift and he turned up at 1 minute to six. We never relieved their shift so they used to crap on us a lot.

 

One day he was doing overtime and I got him. I turned up my usual 25 minutes early so I could have a brew. He grabs his bag, shouts 'my relief is in, I'm off" I stood up and told him he could fuck off, gave him a right fucking mouthful about being a lazy selfish prick (in front of everyone) and told him he would stay until I started my shift at 1759. He was on double time too the shit.

 

Best cup of tea in an awkward atmosphere ever. From then on he was usually a little earlier in to work.

[Rico1304]

 

I've not taken a single sick day or days compassionate leave since Carly has been unwell. I've always used my annual leave to attend hospital appointments, even when I wanted a day off after being told it was terminal I took leave rather than ring in sick and drop people in the shit.

 

 

Trouble is I'm one stubborn prick and I can't wait for them to start asking to swap shifts or move my holiday as they should have first refusal on time off in school holidays etc.

 

'!

 

They know your circumstances and still won't help? Cunts

 

I always find making decisions like that liberating, you know where you stand with them now and every little bit of making their lives shit will be good.

 

I hate people.

[lifetime fan]

They know your circumstances and still won't help? Cunts

 

I always find making decisions like that liberating, you know where you stand with them now and every little bit of making their lives shit will be good.

 

I hate people.

 

They all know Carly and 3 of them used to work with her.

[Rico1304]

They all know Carly and 3 of them used to work with her.

 

That's why I hate people.

[Bjornebye]

People who are unable to understand the concept of give and take, it's all take. And what's even worse are the cunts that never stop taking but all they ever fucking go on about is how much they do for everyone else.

 

For years I've swapped weekends off, not had weekends off, worked 48 hours (and more) on the bounce for people, postponed annual leave etc for these cunts and now I want to take a weeks leave next week no fucker can do anything to help cover my shifts.

 

I've not taken a single sick day or days compassionate leave since Carly has been unwell. I've always used my annual leave to attend hospital appointments, even when I wanted a day off after being told it was terminal I took leave rather than ring in sick and drop people in the shit.

 

Now I've a slag that moans like fuck whenever there's not enough overtime for her not wanting to help out because she's too tired from looking after her grandkids on a Monday.

 

Some rat faced prick whose had 26 weeks off sick in the last year unable to come in 90 minutes early for a shift because he'll 'hit traffic'. I'll hit the scrawny wanker into the middle of next year if he's not careful.

 

Cunt number 2 had a baby nearly 9 months ago so can't possibly change any shift times at all, even on weekends when her husband is at home because she can't 'alter the baby's routine'. I've not even asked the lazy oxygen thief to do any extra hours because I won't waste my own breath. But you know maybe swap an early to a late in case I can get someone to work on the weekend morning. Not a chance.

 

And the one lanky fucker that would sometimes help is in Scotland for a fortnight.

 

I'll have next week off, if need be I'll just ring my bosses at 4 when I finish today and tell them I'm off and won't be back in for 2 weeks (I've already got the week of the 16th booked off), but that isn't the point.

 

I've gone out of my way for these cunts for years and not one of them is prepared to give even the slightest bit back.

 

Trouble is I'm one stubborn prick and I can't wait for them to start asking to swap shifts or move my holiday as they should have first refusal on time off in school holidays etc.

 

I'm actually looking forward to saying, 'I could, but I'm not going to because I don't like you. I'm going to sit at home bored, thinking of all the work I could actually be getting done and make my working life a bit harder just for the satisfaction of pissing you off'!

 

Reading that has put me in a bad fucking mood. i've not really had that situation in this place yet but know full well people would be cunts. I'm snarling everyone as I type.

 

As has been said, I also hate people. People who think their lives are far more important than yours. Slags and wankers.

[Guest davelfc]

They all know Carly and 3 of them used to work with her.

 

Makes it even worse. Bastards!