Issue 76 Captions....

[dirty_sanchez]

 

AC: Ha ha, yeah Luis, Westlife were definitely better!

*thinks* I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you

[Kurt]

 

Fuck .... What have I done??!!

[Kurt]

 

RH: Blimey, In all my 35 year of experience... I`ve never seen a ball that yellow.

[Kurt]

Gay for pay!

 

 

Gennaro Gattuso finally finds a career more suited to his talents

[TheHitman]

 

GJ to FT If you need any new fixtures and fittings for the new bathroom I can still arrange the five finger discount for you from the local b&Q.

[fowler_god_9]

CA: Thinking; Hmmm, doesn't John remind me of a song...?

CA: Yes, now I remember :

[ctkeepercoach]

edit: chickened

 

Chicken sounds better... gives him the fierce eastern european accent...

[Stevie S]

 

RH - What? So you get 3 points for winning an away game? Really?

 

 

 

Nice

[NLW2010]

RH: I wish that was a Smint ....

MM: In 35 years, the best thing he bought was those Smint's

[Antynwa]

 

You're not Ron

[Strontium]

 

I'm sorry, Glen, that you will never play for a big club like Chelsea

 

 

 

FT: ...and whoever comes last has to eat the biscuit?

 

 

 

Don't look now, but Ashley has stolen your mobile phone

[Stu Monty]

After pioneering skin-tight kits, the Italians went one step further.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RH: I call that new defending system for tricky wingers the "Palermo Overload".

JC: "Why's that boss? Why not just doubling up?"

RH: "Because you've got two defenders in the pink so the one forward's in the stink"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We're always bringing in the best around; like with Torres and Luiz..."

 

 

"...it's something Roman mentioned when he called me from Claudio's place in Rome this week".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ancellotti denies any fear of losing his job

 

CA: "Shit, Roman's just come in, don't move and he won't see me"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chelsea fans prove that the claim they have no width is nonsense.

[Stu Monty]

McCarthy employs mind games at the Black Country derby

 

MM: "One-nil, and you got the sack, one-nil and you got the sack..."

RH: *Twat*

[RedKnight]

DP: *clears throat* Greetings Fernando, I'm Luis Suarez.

FT: Hey, he's not Suarez. That's it I'm off.

 

FT:...and then they tried to pass off this little Spanish fella as a new singing.

[RedKnight]

Coach: Pass it to Soto!

DA: Err, which one is Soto?

[RedKnight]

RH: Hmmm, I'm sure I put Carra on the team sheet but I can't see him out there.

[RedKnight]

New Core balance training as Carroll tries to pass the ball whilst holding a pane of glass.

[dirty_sanchez]

 

Rent boys compete to be the first to give Torres a "Welcome to Stamford Bridge" handjob.

[Trumo]

 

KD: Andy, you're playing sweeper for this training exercise.

AC: Arl reet. This heeya is me wor broom lake.

[Trumo]

 

MM: Alright. Who's been spitting Smints on my seat?

RH: (thinking) Shit! Best look busy.

[Stu Monty]

FIFA take setbacks in their stride

 

Havelange: "...Lots of love, to Will and Kate.."

Blatter: "They've just called; we're not invited Joao"

Havelange: "Can't we just get Qatar to buy the wedding off them?"

 

 

 

 

 

Spartak Moscow fans celebrate signing of new Ghanain forward by building a bonfire

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DN: *Concentrate...focus*

DK: *Eye on the hand...watch it all the way in*

 

 

 

 

 

Tennis star Caroline Wozniacki confused by heckles:

 

"The baby's not yours..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Schweinsteiger in massive intimidation fail:

 

Schweinsteiger: "Do that again and I'll kill you, look at me, I'm serious!"

Cambiasso: "Mate, you're wearing mittens"

[Kevin D]

Terry: Obviously we're a big club and so if we don't win a trophy we should be looking at taking drastic action, beginning with those at the top.

CA: Ho! The fucking balls on this prick.

[Stu Monty]

Arsenal player in angry outburst after bad tackle:

 

Nasri: "...yeah, three grand it was; can't beat good dental work, can you?"

Walters: "Nah, you can't pal".

Wilshire: "Who's Jack Wilshire? Who the fuck's Mario Balotelli? Did you see me against Barca? I've got Messi's shirt...has Balotelli? No, so that twat can..."

Bendtner: "Jack, leave it mate, it was months ago!"

[Stu Monty]

DP: *clears throat* Greetings Fernando, I'm Luis Suarez.

FT: Hey, he's not Suarez. That's it I'm off.

 

FT:...and then they tried to pass off this little Spanish fella as a new singing.

 

Quality.

[Stu Monty]

Ian Holloway: Entertainer

 

Holloway: "...and this season has been like a big sandwich, and we're the meat in the sandwich that has made it interesting. You can't always have a BLT or chicken tikka though, sometimes you have to be simpler like..."

Assistant: "They've just scored boss".

Holloway: "...shit!"