little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Rico1304]

Even though you'd fail your test for it. There's nothing wrong with courtesy but it has no place when deciding the right of way of the motorist, that way lies madness. 

 

I ranted a while ago about some idiot that stopped on a main road at every side road and waved cars out. Surely one of the most courteous drivers out there and a massive twat too.

 

But the traffic is stopped behind the cunt turning right, it'd take no longer for them to wave a car out. When take over the world it's a capital offence.

[Carvalho Diablo]

This. Basically any fruit where in order to eat them you have to put up with pulling/spitting bits out of your mouth constantly. I'm all for healthy eating, but it shouldn't be a fucking chore.

 

I love fruit but I just can't swallow the skin of an orange segment or the skin of an apple. Got to peel an apple to enjoy it or just chew the fuck out of orange segments then spit out the juiceless remnant.

 

I know exactly what you mean by fruit being a chore GD. Repped.

[General Dryness]

I love fruit but I just can't swallow the skin of an orange segment or the skin of an apple. Got to peel an apple to enjoy it or just chew the fuck out of orange segments then spit out the juiceless remnant.

 

I know exactly what you mean by fruit being a chore GD. Repped.

 

I'm ok with apple skin, but I hate accidentally biting in to the core. All pips and fibrous shit.

 

I like easy stuff like peaches, plums and nectarines. Stone fruit, basically. One skin, round the outside. One seed, big one, in the middle. Brilliant design. Beautiful. Simple. Classic. Easy to eat. Even bananas have that fucking stringy shit on them when you peel them.

[Carvalho Diablo]

The General with his packed lunch...

 

[Rico1304]

People who go on Pop Master when they clearly don't have any music knowledge. Ken Bruce asks them how many points they usually get and they say "oh, anything between 9 & 12"

I should point out I'm shit at music quizzes but for some reason it annoys me.

One bloke just got 3 fucking points!!!

[General Dryness]

The General with his packed lunch...

 

 

The very thought of doing that makes me shudder.

[SilverSong]

Queues. Anything to do with fucking queues but especially queue pusher-inners. Especially bad bell whiff queue pusher-inners at the fucking A483 pinch point roadworks. You the fucker in the sporty black merc, go round yerself, up put yerself in a field and bomb yerbastardself.

[Hooch]

Car mechanical discussion forums that offer instructions / solutions to problems that read like they're simple but are anything but.

 

1. First you locate the cross hatch under the dash board (note for MKII models this might be on the rear drivers side)

2. Locate the three screws and unscrew the rear panel under the dash to locate the discombobulator,

3. At the same time Pull and twist the screen clockwise to reveal the fuse panel (be careful not to disturb the engine wiring underneath here)

 

4. Start punching the car in utter frustration and visit your local garage instead.

 

 

I know it's essentially free advice, but I'm sure it's an in joke that they complicate it so 'newbs' get fucked off.

[Trumo]

I like watching Mastermind from time to time, but there are a few irksome things they need to address. Firstly, they need to tell their middle-aged (or old-aged) female contestants to pick a specialist subject that ISN'T a novel by the likes of Austen or Bronte. Do women of a certain age have no interest in anything else? Secondly, when they have contestants on who need a walking stick and struggle to walk the few metres from their seat to the black chair, nearly losing their footing on the step because the black chair...

 

...I've started so I'll finish...

 

...is on a raised and curved platform. What's the point of the platform? Just have a flat floor. Everybody can see the contestant anyway. Lastly, mic up the contestants properly because all you often hear is a faint mumble whereas John Humphreys comes through loud and clear when asking the questions.

[Bjornebye]

They have changed the lights on 15 to 1.

 

Fucking pricks

[Champ]

I like watching Mastermind from time to time, but there are a few irksome things they need to address. Firstly, they need to tell their middle-aged (or old-aged) female contestants to pick a specialist subject that ISN'T a novel by the likes of Austen or Bronte. Do women of a certain age have no interest in anything else? Secondly, when they have contestants on who need a walking stick and struggle to walk the few metres from their seat to the black chair, nearly losing their footing on the step because the black chair...

 

...I've started so I'll finish...

 

...is on a raised and curved platform. What's the point of the platform? Just have a flat floor. Everybody can see the contestant anyway. Lastly, mic up the contestants properly because all you often hear is a faint mumble whereas John Humphreys comes through loud and clear when asking the questions.

And would they tell Humphreys to ditch that patronising tilting his head thing he does when talking to commoners

[Liverpool lad]

Stone chips on the windscreen

 

I have a few now and some grazes thanks to what looked like a stolen A1 being driven down the M62

 

I was in the inside line doing around 70 mph when I seen an Audi approaching quite quickly and indicating to join the hard shoulder.  The Audi then blasted past me doing around 100 mph covering every other car in gravel and other shit that accumulates on the hard shoulder, the car then went across all three lines nearly causing a crash and forcing a van to swerve out of their way.

 

Looking at the screen, I have two that need attention and some grazes, very close to a new window replacement

 

Nevermind, this cannot put a downer on my day as I am going the derby

[Captain Turdseye]

Polish people. Call me a xenophobe if you like but I'm of the opinion that most of them are gobshites. There's a big Polish community where I live and they're mostly sneering, angry, anti-social twats. Even when talking amongst themselves they're constantly bickering and looking like they want to spark each other out.

 

Obviously there's some sound people from Poland but I reckon they've all stayed at home and sent us all of their bellends.

[VladimirIlyich]

Polish people. Call me a xenophobe if you like but I'm of the opinion that most of them are gobshites. There's a big Polish community where I live and they're mostly sneering, angry, anti-social twats. Even when talking amongst themselves they're constantly bickering and looking like they want to spark each other out.

 

Obviously there's some sound people from Poland but I reckon they've all stayed at home and sent us all of their bellends.

Maybe its just you they are talking about,or your kecks?

[Bob]

This is almost entirely a face ache one...

 

Attributing bullshit quotes that you probably just made up to

 

- anonymous

 

To somehow attempt to validate it and add importance to the words.

 

If it wasn't good enough for the twat that first said it to be remembered, then don't attempt to credit the source.

 

Better still, if the person remains anonymous, just fucking claim it.

 

I may start doing that and contact the person posting the image requesting my name be attributes to the quote, otherwise I'll ask for it to be removed.

[Duncan Clench]

Stickers on things you've bought. Particularly the ones that give you the idea that they're going to peel off easily but then leave their bastard, sticky  remains.

 

Which reminds me... things with 'easy peel' tabs on them. Like ham, bacon etc. Surely someone can come up with a system whereby the easy peel tab also removes the cellophane covering the fucking product.

[Champ]

Stickers on things you've bought. Particularly the ones that give you the idea that they're going to peel off easily but then leave their bastard, sticky  remains.

 

Which reminds me... things with 'easy peel' tabs on them. Like ham, bacon etc. Surely someone can come up with a system whereby the easy peel tab also removes the cellophane covering the fucking product.

 

...but then reseals once you've taken what you want!

[Hooch]

I find the reseal stickers on bags of pasta to be particularly shit.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Polish people. Call me a xenophobe if you like but I'm of the opinion that most of them are gobshites. There's a big Polish community where I live and they're mostly sneering, angry, anti-social twats. Even when talking amongst themselves they're constantly bickering and looking like they want to spark each other out.

 

Obviously there's some sound people from Poland but I reckon they've all stayed at home and sent us all of their bellends.

 

I think this is somewhat accurate, as in, the people who come here might not be a representative sample of the average polish person. When I was in poland the people couldn't have been more welcoming. Also, its always the loudest ones you notice. In my village there are several eastern European families, most of whom you never see or hear of. They're just typical families living their lives. However a lot of people 'hate the fucking polish' because of a few troublemakers in the local. When the troublemakers are local though, their nationality doesn't come into it. Its only ever an issue if it differs from theirs. Strange that.

[bouncebrigade]

When people get obsessed about Pancake Tuesday.

[Trumo]

Shit burglar alarms like the one belonging some twats up the road. It's been going for well over an hour now and it's obvious nobody's home. It's also obvious that it ain't the sort of alarm system that notifies the cops or the owners that some shit might have gone down at their gaff. I don't know which house it is but I hope the owners have only gone out for the night and haven't fucked off for the entire holiday.

 

This cunt. Again.

[Liverpool lad]

People letting their dog shit outside your house and then leaving without cleaning it up

[Carvalho Diablo]

People letting their dog shit outside your house and then leaving without cleaning it up

 

[Chairman Meow]

People letting their dog shit outside your house and then leaving without cleaning it up

 

If I spot people doing this I generally deal with it by threatening to follow them home and shit on their doorstep. Seems to work.

 

I'm not well liked in the neighbourhood. 

[stringvest]

If I spot people doing this I generally deal with it by threatening to follow them home and shit on their doorstep. Seems to work.

 

I'm not well liked in the neighbourhood. 

 

but respected.