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Tuesday Aug 11: Lots of talk about us being in for some Brazilian wonderkid. We get this every transfer window and it never turns out to be anything so I wouldn’t pay too much attention to this one. For what it’s worth (not much) his name is Talles Magno and he plays for Vasco. There are already ‘Welcome to Liverpool’ compilations of him on youtube. Why? I don’t get this. It happens all the time. No doubt there’s one for Jamal Lewis too, and every other player we’ve been linked with these last few months. Either wait until we sign them, or call the videos something else, you fucking spotty virgins. Speaking of Lewis, Norwich are reportedly unhappy with us over the non-transfer. I almost called it a saga then but it only lasted a few days so it defo wasn’t a saga. Sagas usually go on all summer. Not sure what the issue is here though. We offered them £10m, they told us to fuck off and said they wouldn’t pick up for the phone for less than £20m, so we said fair enough and bought someone else for £11m. What exactly is the problem here? They set an unrealistic valuation (which is their right) and we decided to go with a better value deal elsewhere. Now they’ve got their knickers in a knot over it. Was Michael Edwards wearing a Suarez mask on the zoom call when he put the bid in? Ah, Luis Suarez. Remember the way he’d terrorise Norwich? Some of the goals were incredible but the most satisfying one was when he put a shot well wide and their fans were ripping the piss out of him. He pretended to walk away with his head down, demoralised, but the next thing he’s robbing the centre back, then nutmegging him and scoring with an outrageous shot with the outside of his foot into the far corner. The Norwich fans were just sat there open mouthed, although that's nothing out of the ordinary. Fuck it, I’m going to watch it on youtube…. Ok, here’s the 12 goals he scored against Norwich. Enjoy. Wednesday Aug 12: I read something today about how astronomical the bonus payments to our players are. How is this seen as a bad thing? If they’re getting bonuses it means they’ve been successful. Isn’t this the whole point of the ‘lower wage, higher bonus’ policy that we’ve implemented? The alternative is to pay them daft money without incentives and risk ending up like United or Arsenal, and no-one wants that. Personally I hope the lads are making double their wages next year. I see we’re still being linked with Sarr from Watford. Not gonna lie, I’ll be seriously underwhelmed if we sign him as like I’ve said previously I don’t think he’d contribute much at this stage. I do like him but he’s maybe a couple of years away from the level where the likes of Sadio and Mo where when we signed them (I say maybe because it’s by no means certain he’ll get there). If we brought him in now he’d be learning on the job and that’s not really what we need. The one positive would be that if he comes in for Sadio or Mo at least the whole dynamic of the attack wouldn’t change like it does when Ox, Div or Gary Minamino play. Also today, Billy Koumetio signed his pro contract. Did I dream this or was he on the bench against Barca? I have this image in my head of him on the pitch celebrating one of the goals. I need to look this up…. Hahaha I was close. He was a ballboy! I think the image I have in my head is him celebrating when Origi scored against Arsenal in the League Cup. I knew there was some link there to Barca though. He’s good though this lad, I’ve seen him for the 18s a few times and I like him him a lot. He’s fucking huge too, and seeing as how he’s only 17 now he’ll probably get even bigger. Despite his size he’s actually a ball playing defender, so he’s one to keep an eye on. What else is happening? *checks newsnow* Ok, City are reportedly set to ‘hijack’ our move for Thiago. Unless he can play centre back then I’m not worried. All the midfielders and forwards in the world aren’t going to help them with that fucking clown show they’ve got going on behind them. They won’t get him though because he’s worked with Guardiola before and won’t want to subject himself to that fucking weirdo again. Willian is joining Arsenal. Initially I was thinking “why the fuck would he do that?”. Then I read that his agent is that slimeball Joorabchian, who is now running the show at Arsenal. Coutinho is probably going to end up there too now, along with anyone else represented by that prick. As much as I’d love Coutinho back there’s no way that’s going to happen and Joorabchian will be a big reason for that as I daresay Klopp and Edwards want as little to do with him as possible. Arsenal are a fucking disgrace on every level these days. I’ve never liked them, but at least I respected them as a club. Not anymore. I hate everything about them now. Pricks. On that note, that Brazilian wonderkid I mentioned? Turns out he’s one of Joorabchian’s clients too so clearly that won’t be happening. Paolo Dybala is yet again being linked with a move away from Juve. This happens every fucking window and then at the end of it he’s still there. It’s boring. He’ll be linked with us, United, Spurs, maybe even Everton (they’ve got Don Carlo now so anything is possible *sniggers*) and then at the end of it all he’ll still be at Juve. Unless he’s another Joorabchian one and ends up at Arsenal. That would be a typical Arsenal signing actually. Completely ignore every need they have and sign another tiny, skilful, creative attacker. Thursday Aug 13: Atletico are knocked out by Leipzig. I didn’t watch any of it (as I said last week, I doubt I’ll watch any Champions League games) but I knew what was happening based on the glee from Reds in various groupchats and on twitter. I’ve got no love for Atletico and I’m glad they’re out, but in some ways it would have been easier to take if they’d gone a long way. Them beating us at Anfield will never not sting, and this kind of makes it worse because it confirms they’re really not very good. It shouldn’t have happened and if we played the game twenty times, that was the only time they’d have won. And if we played it 100 times with Alisson in goal they wouldn’t have won once. Cunts. The competition would have been much better with us still in it. Imagine how good a Liverpool / Bayern final would have been? Elsewhere today, there’s loads of kicking off over the new away kit. One, I don’t actually think it’s that bad. Two, as I said last week about the home kit; to everyone kicking off, these things are not designed for you. Neither the club nor Nike give a flying fuck what us forty or fifty somethings think about their design. One of the best selling kits we’ve had is that horrible purple one with the bright orange numbers. I hated that kit but it sold big numbers. Why? Because kids loved it. Just as they’ll love this one too. Meanwhile, Trent is the PL Young Player of the Year. He should be winning all the other young player awards too as let’s face it, there’s no-one even close. Greenwood is clear in second and I suppose Foden is third (although he did fuck all until after lockdown), but Trent is so far ahead of everyone else it’s got to be the easiest decision anyone can make. So no doubt the PFA Award will go elsewhere. Like Kane or Sterling again. Friday Aug 14: Hahahahaha fucking hell. 8-2! I know I said I wouldn’t be watching any CL footy but I saw everyone going mad about this game so I switched it on at 3-1 and watched the rest of it. Just brilliant. I loved seeing Barca humiliated like that and I love the absolute fucking state they’re in. It could be a long way back for them given their financial situation and the complete shambles that is their current squad. Lazy bastards. Bayern ran over 9km more than them, which basically amounts to having an extra player. Some proper frauds in that squad, especially Vidal and Griezemann. Not having that De Jong either. Still pisses me off he was getting all the young player awards that Trent should have been getting. Messi probably should leave now because he looks utterly broken and demotivated. Fucking walking around and not doing any chasing back at all. I know it’s not his ‘job’ but it sets a shitty example to the rest of the team when he’s just standing there letting Thiago have all the time he wants on the ball. He doesn’t even make the token gesture of closing people down, he stands there shamelessly watching. His ‘greatest player of all time’ claim is being diminished the longer he stays there now. I’ll never subscribe to the view that Ronaldo is better but he defo has more balls and is more of a winner than Messi. He’s also tested himself in different leagues, something Messi needs to do now I think because Barca is a sinking ship in need of a major overhaul. Watching Messi tonight it was hard not to lose respect for him. He gave up. It wasn’t his fault they got battered but he didn’t really do anything to help prevent it either. My boy Diego would never have done that. He’d never just stand idly by and watch his team be humiliated like that. He’d have started a massive brawl or just two footed someone long before it reached that stage. Messi is so fucking passive it winds me up. Where’s his pride? Where’s the fight? Winners don’t act like Messi did tonight. He needs to go somewhere else to show he can do it away from Barcelona. He’s had it cushy for so long, scoring four goals every other week against Cadiz or Getafe. I’m not disputing his greatness and I love watching him, he’s a genius, but he really needs a new challenge. Suarez should go too while he still has something left. He was the only one who even looked arsed tonight. I’m not sure what game Ferdinand and the ret of BT were watching because I don’t really get this ‘his legs have gone’ thing. He was never quick anyway and always looked like he was towing a caravan when he was running even when he was in his prime. There was the full repertoire from him tonight though. It really took me back. He stamped on Thiago and a second later was hurling himself through the air and writhing around to get Boeteng booked. Later he did that thing where he goes down in a heap and as he’s lying prone he frantically waves one arm up in the air as though he’s in massive distress. Then when he got up he did the old standing in front of the ref, repeatedly touching his mouth and checking for blood routine. Glorious. When anyone else does that I hate it. When it’s Suarez I just laugh, because he’s such a little scamp. He then scored a fucking vintage Suarez goal before crying at the final whistle and then laying into the ref about something. Like anything the ref did had any bearing on them losing eight fucking two! I don’t think there’s another player in the world (Diego Costa maybe) who would have the brass neck to have a go at the ref after an 8-2 defeat. That’s him though, he’s just ultra competitive and a massive twat about it. And I’d have him back as our fourth forward in a fucking heartbeat, although I don’t think he could cope with not starting every game, it’d absolutely fuck his head right up. I suspect he’ll end up back at Ajax. How good are Bayern though? I’ve only watched them a few times this season but they’ve been incredible every time. They’re a lot like us only more explosive and they score more goals. If you take our current football and combine it with the attacking play we had in 17/18 then you’d have this Bayern side. The depth they’ve got too. Fucking hell. Just quality players everywhere. Thiago was class which will only cause more resentment from the “FSG Out” crowd when he ends up at United earning 400k a week, and I don’t know about you, but I was genuinely pleased for Coutinho tonight. Barca treated him like a twat. He was nowhere as bad for them as has been made out. He didn’t get a fair shake with them and their fans were cunts towards him. So for him to come on and bag two goals and an assist on the most humiliating night in their history must have been pretty satisfying for him. He wouldn’t show it because he’s got friends on that team, but inside he must have been thinking “have that, you fucking pricks”. Good for him. Saturday Aug 8: Hahahahahahahahaha! Fuck off City, out you go. That was ace. I didn’t watch it as I wasn’t expecting Lyon to do anything, but I’m delighted to have been proved wrong. There was a whiff of controversy about it as one of those Lyon goals probably shouldn’t have stood but as soon as it went to VAR City were fucked. The on field ref might be difficult to nobble but I guarantee UEFA had ensured that anything that went to video was never going to come down in favour of City. You don’t get to disregard the rules, make a mockery of the competition and then dodge punishment on a technicality without there being some comeback. City will never win this competition because Guardiola keeps shitting the bed and because UEFA simply won’t allow it. And you know what, nor should they. If UEFA are up to shenanigans to stop City winning it, it’s actually 100% justified. And what about that sitter by Sterling? As good as he is, he misses half a dozen of these type of chances every season. As a washed up musician with a jarg Paul Weller haircut once famously said, “too funny”. I see Sheffield United are close to signing the Bournemouth keeper, Ramsdale. This suggests Dean Henderson is going back to United. What will that mean for De Gea? He’s not winning any battle for the number one spot against Henderson. Shit, on his recent form he wouldn’t even win it against our Henderson. No-one else is going to pay him 400k a week though or whatever it is he’s on. Thinking about it, he might end up in China or Qatar or somewhere. Haha this is great. Newcastle want Tom Davies. I saw this trending on Twitter so had a little nose to see what was being said. It was mainly Blues rejoicing. They don’t like him at all, which I found surprising. Here’s a few of the more interesting takes I saw: Tom Davies has over 100 PL appearances and regressed after each and every one. £12m for Tom Davies hahahaha, always loved the Geordies, I’ll drive him down there myself for that. I’ll drive Tom Davies to Newcastle for £12 million quid, in fact I’ll carry him all the way there for £12 quid. June: "Watch out - we're getting Mbappe!!!" August: "...Can we have Tom Davies please?" Some fella in the brick is telling me Tom Davies is good at football. He’s getting glassed watch. I'd accept 12 bourbons for Tom Davies never mind £12m If we get anything more than a pack of space raiders for Tom Davies from Newcastle or any club, then we’ve had their pants down. He's utter crap, sorry, he is. It wasn’t that long ago the Blues were raving about him. And it was even less long ago that Adrian Durham was on Talksport saying he could be as good as Steven Gerrard. You know you’re talking complete Zlatan when even Jason Cundy is looking at you incredulously. Sunday Aug 9: Klopp says he will take a year off after his contract expires, and if he doesn’t miss footy while he’s away then that’s him done. My question would be what happens if he does miss it? Imagine him going somewhere else. Obviously he’s not going to another English club, but I don’t want him anywhere but here. Depending on what Klopp felt about it, I’d happily just appoint a caretaker and write off that entire year if there was chance of him coming back for the following season. And if he then didn’t want to, that’s when I’d appoint a successor. There’s no-one like him, I honestly in terms of being the total package he might be the greatest manager to ever have lived. There might be other managers who are better in specific areas of the job (which is why Klopp recruits people who know more than he does and he leans on their expertise) and there are obviously managers who have been more successful, but Klopp might be the greatest ever because of the transformational impact he has on clubs and the way he can get everyone on the same page and hanging off his every word. All the things we’ve heard about Shankly and what he did for the club, it all applies to Klopp too. We need to savour every moment of this, because we might only have him for four more years. Meanwhile, the fucking balls on this prick! Bernardo Silva has a pop at our fans because he doesn’t like how many of them have been giving him shit about last night. Basically he called them virgins (probably true!) and said they should be enjoying their title and not bothering him. Bit fucking rich from a cunt who chose to celebrate City’s last title by singing a parody of one of our songs, referencing Sean Cox getting put in a coma, Vincent Kompany injuring Salah and the scousers winning fuck all. And now he’s upset because some have chose to give it back to him. He’s just opened the door for everyone to pile into him now though, and they have. Some of the replies to his tweet were funny as fuck. He should have just ignored the virgins, because by showing that it bothered him he’s got the grown ups taking the piss now. And he deserves every bit of shit he gets, the little shithouse. Let’s not forget the lack of applause from him during the guard of honour too. Fucking gobshite. He’s the biggest cunt at that club, which is some going. I’ll rephrase that. He’s the biggest cunt on the playing staff. Guardiola is worse. So are the owners, and so are the press office. Speaking of whom, you know when we lost at Arsenal and lost the chance to reach 100 points? Their press officer sent this image out to some journalists (presumably the ones who cover City). If you don’t get the reference, it’s a 99, which was the most points we could finish on after that result. Sad, sad, petty, bitter bastards. Interesting that Hendo put a video out from the training camp in Austria showing everyone the view. The camera dropped down just a little bit, only for a split second, to reveal the European Cup tattoo on his leg. Was that a little shot across the bows of City? If it was, it was fucking genius, because it was so subtle that he could easily just play dumb and say he has no idea what people are talking about. That's the difference. If you're going to have a dig, be subtle about it so you can deny it and play the "you're fucking paranoid" card. Also tonight, my boy Suso (loved him when he was here) bagged a goal as Sevilla dumped United out of the Europa. Unlike last night, this was a result I saw coming. We know first hand just what bastards Sevilla are. They’re so fucking streetwise and know how to get a result in this competition. United were never winning this because Solskjaer is not very good and he’s way out of his depth in the latter stages of European competition. They did get another penalty though, after Rashford was caught well after getting his shot away. Penalties are virtually given for those, but this is United so… of course, oui. Gylfi Fernandez scored to make it eight out of eight. Have to give United credit for that signing. He was exactly what they needed. Someone who could convert all those penalties they get as well as dive about to win a few extra ones himself. Absolute masterstroke. Things got heated in the studio between Scholes and Ince. Incredibly, Scholes is such a clueless miserable cunt he has me siding with Paul Ince, and I never do that. I mean fucking hell, Ince said tonight that David Silva shouldn’t have a statue at City because “I don’t see statues of Henry and Bergkamp at Arsenal”. There are statues of both of them outside the Emirates!! Maybe Incey was looking outside Highbury. He’s thick but in comparison to Scholes he’s Albert Einstein. Scholes thinks the gap between us and United is twenty points. Yeah, back in fucking September it might have been. Dick. He also said that United’s problem is that they need to start spending money. Ok m8 wotevs. In the last few years they have made the three most expensive signings in Premier League history and they’ve spent more than City. Fuck me, he gets paid to spout this absolute nonsense? No wonder he never gave interviews back when he was playing. He’s a complete fucking moron. In other news tonight, Messi has reportedly told Barca he wants to leave now, not next summer. It’s the right thing to do but where will he end up? No-one is paying his current salary, except maybe PSG. What he should do is beg Klopp to sign him promise he'll work hard and take a massive pay cut to help make it happen. Imagine if he came here and won the league and another European Cup. His legacy would be cemented then. He’ll take the easy option and join Neymar and Mbappe at PSG though. Or maybe he'll be David Silva's replacement at City. Again though, unless he can play centre back I won't lose any sleep over it. Monday Aug 10: Watching the training videos on LFCTV and it’s mad when you see Grujic and Karius out there. Nat Phillips is there too and he looks like he’s grown about six inches. He’s a giant. No sign of Harry Wilson though, not sure what the deal is there. Didn’t see Ben Woodburn either. No Lazar Markovic this year either, which is strange. Neco signed a new contract. During his interview he said that nine months ago he’d never even played for the first team. I wouldn’t say he came from nowhere as he’s always been a good player, but his rise has come quicker than anyone expected. And one of the things that accelerated his development is training with and against so many great players. He was saying that in 11v11 sessions he almost always has to come up against Sadio. No doubt he usually comes off second best but if he’s up against Mané in the kind of competitive training sessions we have, when it comes to playing in the team it probably feels like a piece of piss. He’s not going to come up against anyone tougher than Sadio is he? It got me thinking though. There’s probably a kid now in the youth set up who will establish himself as part of the squad this coming season. Koumetio is out there training with the senior lads currently so maybe it will be him. Or Jake Cain or Leyton Stewart. It might be someone that no-one has really spoken about. Someone will come through and become part of the Melwood squad though, because it’s happened every year under Klopp. Meanwhile, De Bruyne is the Premier League Player of the Year. Can’t say I’m arsed. A few of our lads could just as easily have won it but De Bruyne has been brilliant and is a worthy winner. Probably makes sense giving it to him just to stop all the fucking woe is me crysarsing from City. Bunch of babies. Of course the Manchester Evening News somehow managed to get a “City defend De Bruyne as Liverpool fans fume over award” article out of it. Presumably they’ve just dredged through twitter to find some weirdos kicking off, because there isn’t a single Red I know who would get even the slightest bit worked up over this. In fact, all I ever hear from Reds when it comes to De Bruyne is how great he is. You never hear a bad word about him. The MEN have achieved the seemingly impossible. They’re actually worse than the Echo. Meanwhile, the Thiago talk still rumbles on. All along I’ve felt like it was bollocks and won’t happen but now I’m starting to think there has to be something in it as there’s just too much smoke. If we sign him and no-one leaves then that would suggest that Klopp wants to tweak how we play and possibly even change the system. Pete Krawietz spoke recently about how he analysed all of our games and that there is a plan on how to improve how we play. Maybe it’s changing the type of service the front three get? Maybe it’s about having even more control of the ball than we do already? I don’t know, but if, IF, we sign Thiago then I think we’ll be seeing a change to how we play. In a sense, Thiago might be Lovren’s indirect replacement, as it might mean Fabinho playing more in defence. Update: Just had a little look around the net and Wilson is injured so he’s stayed back at Melwood with Trent, who also has a knock. No idea about Wooodburn though. If he’s crocked again then that poor lad must be cursed.