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50 Shades of Grey......

Sandford

By Sandford,
in GF - General Forum

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Liverpool lad Grand Master

Liverpool lad

Posted
Posted
She's right... but you have to ask her what the hell she's been reading... or have you been leaving mucky postit notes on the fridge?

 

We read a few extracts and it sounded a bit run of the mill. It looks easy to whip up a storm when it comes to women, Section hit the nail on the head. It is like that episode of South Park were all the husbands take their wives to see musicals with subliminal messages to make them want to perform fellatio.

 

I will see what she has been reading.

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Pony Princess Mentor

Pony Princess

Posted
Posted

The book was based on a Twilight fanfic this tart wrote and posted online.

 

If you've ever read fanfiction, you'll know it is fucking dire and even the best written of it, such as this book (as badly written as it is compared to 'proper' stories) is of the same calibre as the world's most well-formed turd.

 

The worst offenders tend to go for Twilight, Harry Potter or obscure anime. Some of it is so awful you can't tell if they are serious or not.

 

Some of these cunt-candles will combine 'universes' for example Star Trek meets Harry Potter resulting in hilariously awful 'fiction' being dropped onto the internet like dung from a cow's well-soiled shit-sleeve.

 

Epically Bad Fanfiction - Page 1 of 5

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stevebaby Proficient

stevebaby

Posted
Posted

I may have to anally fist the missus when she gets home.

Not for sexual purposes though. I can't find the remote control for the tv and I've looked everywhere else.

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Ezekiel 25:17 Grand Master

Ezekiel 25:17

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Sandford, your sex life must be duller than The Lighthouse Family if your missus is awakened by this drivel. I got it on the kindle. It's staggeringly shit - poorly written, completely unbelievable plot, and cringy sex scenes. I mean, for God's sake, they sell it in Asda! I'd be more aroused watching two frogs mating.

 

Sounds like the time I went round to me mates and drank absinthe.

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RoboRiise Grand Master

RoboRiise

Posted
Posted
Bret Easton Ellis, the author of American Psycho, has offered to write the screenplay for the movie.

 

I can't even begin to imagine how fucked up that's going to be.

 

That could actually be kind of awesome, as anyone that's read American Psycho rather than just watching the film will know. Bret does not fuck around. God I love that book.

 

 

Because other women like it, that's all it takes.

 

Chick lit must be a pice of piss to write.

 

"Jane had two men fighting over her, she didn't know which to pick as one looked like Hugh Grant, and the other looked like a big black cock on legs. "I'll decide after I've been for a frappe latte" She thought, as she remembered she'd just been promoted.

 

Awaits Louise Mensch sending Dave a takedown notice.

 

 

The book was based on a Twilight fanfic this tart wrote and posted online.

 

If you've ever read fanfiction, you'll know it is fucking dire and even the best written of it, such as this book (as badly written as it is compared to 'proper' stories) is of the same calibre as the world's most well-formed turd.

 

The worst offenders tend to go for Twilight, Harry Potter or obscure anime. Some of it is so awful you can't tell if they are serious or not.

 

Some of these cunt-candles will combine 'universes' for example Star Trek meets Harry Potter resulting in hilariously awful 'fiction' being dropped onto the internet like dung from a cow's well-soiled shit-sleeve.

 

Epically Bad Fanfiction - Page 1 of 5

 

Yeah the first thing I thought of when I saw an extract from this bilge was My Immortal, which is referenced in the first comment in your link. Shame the mirror of it is down at the moment or I'd link it, it really has to be seen to be believed. I've seen a few extracts from this Grey shit and it's marginally better written but that's about the best I can say about it.

 

 

Have you seen the kip of the 'woman' that wrote it? She looks like Nigel Lawson.

 

_59738024_jex_1382829_de28-1.jpg

 

Aye, I bet her dirtbox remains untroubled by millionaire cock. Looks like Sean Bean in drag.

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Pony Princess Mentor

Pony Princess

Posted
Posted
Have you seen the kip of the 'woman' that wrote it? She looks like Nigel Lawson.

 

Not read the book but if the author was in my Red Room of Degradation, I'd have to stick some kind of gimp-mask on her and one of those vaginal speculum things in her mouth to stop her chowing down. She looks like a domestically-abused librarian who smokes 50 a day. If I put it in her mouth, I'm not sure it would come out whole.

 

I was always told though that the munter ladies are the most sexually depraved (top tips from Paulie Dangerously in his Krazyhouse days).

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Pony Princess Mentor

Pony Princess

Posted
Posted
_59738024_jex_1382829_de28-1.jpg

 

I rest my case........

 

I hear the book is a bit saucy but having seen the authors picture... and knowing this is what she frigs herself off to, I worry just as I am reading the best bits one-handed I'd realize I'm not spunking on the 21 year old heroine of the books, but that. In her wildest dreams. The dirty mare.

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Section_31 Grand Master

Section_31

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It's startling how quickly crazes spread these days, incredible in fact. 'Have you read, have you seen, have you heard, it's, it's, it's'. But very few people will actually stop and say, 'this is shit', even if it's what they're thinking, because it looks like they've then somehow missed out.

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Juniper Grand Master

Juniper

Posted
Posted

One of the girls I work with in my team mentioned she's started reading the first on the weekend (and has Downloaded all three books) on the recommendations of friends.

 

Thanks to the knowledge of TLW I informed her that there's fisting and S&M covered in the book.

 

She actually gulped and I laughed, hard (as in laughed, I wasn't hard at the time).

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A.V.B. Collaborator

A.V.B.

Posted
Posted
It's startling how quickly crazes spread these days, incredible in fact. 'Have you read, have you seen, have you heard, it's, it's, it's'. But very few people will actually stop and say, 'this is shit', even if it's what they're thinking, because it looks like they've then somehow missed out.

 

 

So true. Just had some bird on Facebook there telling me how I should read it and my reply was, if I want porn I'll watch porn not pseudo soft porn that I'm trying to dress up as something that has any kind of literary integrity.

 

 

[YOUTUBE]V0q15cWSXP0[/YOUTUBE]

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