Dunkan Jenkins on Twitter

[toneloc]

It is more stupid than funny..

 

People in glass houses.........

[Lurtz]

Genius? Hardly rocket science.

 

As I say each to their own!

 

You're really not seeing the pattern emerging here are you.

[Woo]

Genius? Hardly rocket science.

 

As I say each to their own!

 

Not even the Patrick Stewart facepalm gif will suffice here.

 

I'M NOT SAYING HE IS AN ACTUAL GENIUS!

[Guest LFD]

I'M NOT SAYING HE IS AN ACTUAL GENIUS!

 

Oh good because that is what you said.

 

I can see why people think he is funny.

 

He is hit or miss for me though... more miss for me.

[robslappa]

This is from the Fulham v Arsenal match last week. Hilarious stuff.

 

lively game at the cottage both teams making mistakes and many of them accidental. gerviniho pulpable on several occasions already #ffc #afc

[robslappa]

This is even better. From New Year's Eve.

 

i would like to bid my followers a happy new years. my relatives are all round we will all be linking arms soon for the all lamb signs song.

[stevienando]

He is brilliant in a simon way. He is simon x100.

[setreal]

I still can't believe Woo thinks this guy is a genius.

[KevieG]

oh adrian

you support west bromich albion

oh childs

to watch you present a telly program i would walk for miles

 

i first saw you on business lunch or something mates

i did not understand what you was talking about

but you did not scream and shout

you talked like you always do in that freindly accent mates

 

i said to my mam that man will go far

and in no time he's on the one shows interviewing david ginola

 

oh adrian

do you miss christine mates

it is a shame she is going out with lampard for some dates

you got the sacks it was not fair

you are being replaced by a man with ginger hairs

 

its not fair

its not fair

mates

 

chris evans chris evans

in despare i look at the heavens

oh adrian oh adrian i said

i watch the one show now with a feeling of dread

in fact i am going to stop

watching it

 

oh adrian oh adrian

i wish you well at the world cup

that news cheered me right up

i cant wait to watch it with you

oh adrian

who do you think will win

 

so you will still be on T.V.

on I.T.V

that pleases me

but its not the one show is it mates

[SonofJan]

Abel Taraabt is not as good as he thinks he is and he knows this

[stringvest]

He's had a bit of banter with Rooney tonight...

 

@WayneRooney hullo wazza mates i am loving your new quift. thats 2 quifts in the P.L now martin kelly has one aswell. do you like my hairs.

 

@GNev2 whats happening tea bag

 

@WayneRooney @GNev2 ha ha ha "tea bag" great banter wazza mates. hows it hanging lads. me i'm just enjoying a chicken sandwich, chill axing.

 

 

 

And then on tonight's match -

1-0 H.T. ant gardner decided to chance his arm & it came off. they will be dancing in the streets of crystal palace tonight if #cpfc hold on

[stringvest]

#mcfc v #lfc. very exciting. everyone loves a semi and i am no different. in fact for me semis are as good as it gets, pressure & tension.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Mates.

[Lurtz]

duncan jenkins, #tatical insight hard hitting onion and the creme da le creme on the cake, sometimes first with the #scoops sometimes mates.

[stevienando]

duncanjenkinsFC duncan jenkins

savis fouls agger and that is stone war penalty for #lfc. gerrard calm

as a cucumber fires the peno home with a plum. the reds lead 1-0.

11 hours ago

 

He absolutely murders the language and I bloody love it.

[Fugitive]

His poem for Rooney has just had me in tears. He is fucking hilarious. I'd love to see shreks reaction if he reads it.

 

https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=358127680880956

[Fugitive]

oh wayne

i'm so sorry to be a pain

take this kiss upon your brow

and read the rest of my poim now

 

oh wazza

i write this poim with no shame

wayne, your full name

is wayne mark rooney

when you were young

you were a loony

but now

you are not

not as bad as before anyway mates

 

oh wazza oh wazza

fergie says your like gazza

you are both men of many talons

and you both drink beer by the gallons

 

oh wayne

you used to be in despairs

coz of your dissappearing hairs

you must of been so miffed

but not anymore mates

not with that lovely quift

 

in the summer you'd gone bald

this is a poim from me to roo

and i've just called

to say

your new hairs really suit you

 

oh wazza

your wife is fit as fuck

do you ever look in the mirrors

and think "i cant believe my luck"

i know i would

you are a part of the cheshire set

does your dad still like a bet

 

oh wazza

you are a humble man from liverpool

just lilke your favourite band who are dead cool

you have twitted about them before

they were known as the fab four

 

the fans love you yeah yeah yeah

they love you yeah yeah yeah

with a love like that

you know you cant be bad

your a great striker and a great lad

mates

 

oh wazza oh wazza

you score the goals that matter

and as you stand amid the roar

please forget about that whore

we've all made mistakes before

[Lurtz]

That is fucking superb. He gets better and better mates.

[Acid]

I saw Big Sam get old, Not Lucas Leiva got old pretty fast, and My Mums Cola the same, but this could go on and on.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

Big Sam is usually pretty funny to be honest but this guy is comedy gold. Pissing myself reading that poem to Jughead.

[KevieG]

he is getting better.

[dennis tooth]

I dont like it.

Je naime pas du tu.

[stringvest]

transfer news:

 

i can confirm #lfc interest in joe allen. good player with a certain "je ne sai pas porquios" (a phrase made up by kylie meaning "superp")

 

 

the clock is ticking as it always does in the #transferwindow but deals not easy. you can lead a bear to the woods but you cant make it shit

[stringvest]

entertainment news:

 

 

#savedarlo i went to darlingtons ground once to see elton john. i got hit in the face by a flying pint of piss during "i'm still standing".

[Lurtz]

Can someone change the K to a C in the thread title please mates?