The Official Cricket Thread

[VladimirIlyich]

Sri Lanka 3 for 4 against India.

[Mudface]

21-6 now. The lowest ODI score is 36, good chance of it being broken here.

[Bloke]

On 01/11/2023 at 15:31, Doc Pheezin said:

 

1.  Pitches - India has become super difficult to travel to lately as they produce pitches that suit spin. Pitches that can't be replicated anywhere outside India too, so while England/NZ/SA/Australia are all kinda broadly similar, they have a real shit time in India. I am totally comfortable with home advantage and making pitches that suit your attack, but India have taken it to another level which is almost unsporting. They also pad their record by travelling fuck all (as they are in charge of world cricket...), entrenching themselves at the top of the tree 
2. Timing - the tournament is after the Northern summer and before the Southern summer, so teams are either coming in tired or undercooked. By design. 
3. General corruption - India own the ICC as they bring in the most money. They've spent years with favourable tours working on their ODI game while England have played less and less, and the other nations have to play heaps of T20 to increase their bank accounts (more crowd/TV money for the shortest form). They are the paymasters of the officials, the broadcasting, the fuckin administrators of the game... they are basically Man City. 
4. Vibes - they're gonna do everything they can to get a home win in front of home fans. They're a good team but they've got fuckin super villains on their side 

 

 

 

You are 100% right so don't feel bullied. India run world cricket and get away with doing all that you mentioned and more. 

 

Harbhajan calling Symonds a monkey and it all getting swept under the carpet after being found guilty was when i first realised. Because of threats by India and the inaction of the ACB it all got reversed making Symonds out to be a fuckwit. They do what they want when they want. 

[Jairzinho]

People slagging off Sri Lanka, but they scored five more than last time.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

What should they do with our one day team? Bin Mott? Bin Buttler?Bin Laden?

[Jairzinho]

Give it Trotty.

[sir roger]

Fuck sake

[Jairzinho]

The batting has been absolutely fucking abysmal in this tournament. People thought pre tournament the bowling might be a bit average but they've actually been ok.

 

Bowling averages in the tournament - 

 

Topley 23.

Atkinson 30.

Rashid 30.

Willey 31.

Woakes 32. 

 

Only Wood has been poor, averaging 58 and going at six and a half an over.

 

Batting averages -

 

Malan 41.

Brook 32.

Stokes 28.

Root 27.

Ali 21.

Bairstow 20.

Buttler 15.

Livingstone 10.

 

So the two top batsmen were Malan, who all the "go big" gimps want to drop. and Brook who actually was fucking dropped.

 

A fucking shitshow.

[Bloke]

Nasser on commentary has been hilarious.

[Trumo]

Absolute mauling of the Saffers by India, who win by 243 runs. A 5-fer for Jadeja and a record-equalling 49th ODI ton for Kohli.

[Doc Pheezin]

I’m still shocked that we scored 400 and lost… 

NZs bowling has been weak this tournament, usually it’s the batting we don’t trust 

 

[Jairzinho]

Most of them are injured, to be fair. 

[Doc Pheezin]

36 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Most of them are injured, to be fair. 

We are missing our first change pace option, but we expect more from Southee and Boult. We let Boult not sign a central contract and go play T20 all year, so the expectation was that he would deliver at the WC. Pretty annoying 

 

also the change bowler isn’t very settled between Jamison, Ferguson, Henry 

 

how far off the England first choice team are we seeing, out of interest? 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

On 04/11/2023 at 16:54, Jairzinho said:

The batting has been absolutely fucking abysmal in this tournament. People thought pre tournament the bowling might be a bit average but they've actually been ok.

 

Bowling averages in the tournament - 

 

Topley 23.

Atkinson 30.

Rashid 30.

Willey 31.

Woakes 32. 

 

Only Wood has been poor, averaging 58 and going at six and a half an over.

 

Batting averages -

 

Malan 41.

Brook 32.

Stokes 28.

Root 27.

Ali 21.

Bairstow 20.

Buttler 15.

Livingstone 10.

 

So the two top batsmen were Malan, who all the "go big" gimps want to drop. and Brook who actually was fucking dropped.

 

A fucking shitshow.

As much as I love Stokes if you cannot bowl no place, Livingstone is not a 50Over player. Ali and Bairstow need to go for me too and Buttler as well as Root need to pick up, averages can go down lads. Wood has had barely any bowling but the likes of Curran can do one for me. 
You have Salt, Duckett, Jacks and some good young bowlers, play more 50 over or forget it. It pissed me off as you can see.

[Jairzinho]

1 minute ago, Doc Pheezin said:

We are missing our first change pace option, but we expect more from Southee and Boult. We let Boult not sign a central contract and go play T20 all year, so the expectation was that he would deliver at the WC. Pretty annoying 

 

also the change bowler isn’t very settled between Jamison, Ferguson, Henry 

 

how far off the England first choice team are we seeing, out of interest? 

 

I think sadly, the opposite was always going to be the case with Boult. As soon as he did that it felt like priorities had changed. Southee is on the slide, I reckon.

 

Jamieson's big inury has obviously made the comeback quite slow. Henry, I like a lot (been top class for Somertset). 

 

 

Hard to gauge with England, they'd argue it is first choice. I guess Archer would probably play if fit and anywhere near back to his best. The main problem has been not making any changes over the last few years though. We won the 20 over comp and naively, and arrogantly, thought that would mean this same group is still good enough to compete here. It isn't. Brook and Atkinson not playing has been bizarre. Hopefully it signals the end of the like to Bairstow in this form of the game. He's not alone though in looking like he doesn't really give a fuck.

 

The contract fiasco in the middle of the tournament was real icing on the cake. Feel for David Willey, whatever you think of him as a player (and I think he's done okay), he was treated like shit.

 

The "Bazball" short term success has basically led to England smelling themselves, and looking like complete weapons here.

[Jairzinho]

4 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

As much as I love Stokes if you cannot bowl no place, Livingstone is not a 50Over player. Ali and Bairstow need to go for me too and Buttler as well as Root need to pick up, averages can go down lads. Wood has had barely any bowling but the likes of Curran can do one for me. 
You have Salt, Duckett, Jacks and some good young bowlers, play more 50 over or forget it. It pissed me off as you can see.

 

Totally agree. In fact, if Buttler is to play he might as well open. Bairstow can do one.

 

Malan, Root and Brook should be three of the top five. Salt, Duckett, Jacks, Smeed, et all can fight for the rest of the places in the top six. And, as you allude to, if they can't be arsed playing 50 over cricket, if they think they're above it, they're free to fuck off.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

18 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

 

Totally agree. In fact, if Buttler is to play he might as well open. Bairstow can do one.

 

Malan, Root and Brook should be three of the top five. Salt, Duckett, Jacks, Smeed, et all can fight for the rest of the places in the top six. And, as you allude to, if they can't be arsed playing 50 over cricket, if they think they're above it, they're free to fuck off.

Exactly. I was thinking Buttler to open with probably Salt, then Malan, Root, Brook and Duckett. Jacks is as good a spinner as Ali is now, I still like Rashid and maybe we can get something from Archer still.

[Jairzinho]

20 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Exactly. I was thinking Buttler to open with probably Salt, then Malan, Root, Brook and Duckett. Jacks is as good a spinner as Ali is now, I still like Rashid and maybe we can get something from Archer still.

 

It needs a new captain. 

 

My slightly biased, and left field, pick would be Tom Abell. Just about good enough (just) to bat at five in the 50 over side, but his captaincy would be miles ahead of Butter. 

 

No idea what any of those in and around the group would be like as captain. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

12 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

 

It needs a new captain. 

 

My slightly biased, and left field, pick would be Tom Abell. Just about good enough (just) to bat at five in the 50 over side, but his captaincy would be miles ahead of Butter. 

 

No idea what any of those in and around the group would be like as captain. 

Shame Vince wasn’t younger or better haha, Abell could be a good call. Out the current crop I cannot see anyone.

[Jairzinho]

3 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Shame Vince wasn’t younger or better haha, Abell could be a good call. Out the current crop I cannot see anyone.

 

Yes, I like Vince. Clearly a good captain. With the white ball I reckon he'd still be fine now. It's not like he has to replace someone averaging 50.

 

Morgan was obviously a really good one day player but even when the eyes went (which they did at the end) he was worth his place as a captain. We seem to have placed very little emphasis on it with this team, which is odd considering the difference Stokes has made in tests. 

 

Anyway, will be interesting to see what happens in the next 12 months with this side. Just hope fifty over cricket still exists. I reckon if India win the tournament they'll announce to the world that they have decided that's it for this form of the game and everyone can get fucked. 

 

 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

6 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

 

Yes, I like Vince. Clearly a good captain. With the white ball I reckon he'd still be fine now. It's not like he has to replace someone averaging 50.

 

Morgan was obviously a really good one day player but even when the eyes went (which they did at the end) he was worth his place as a captain. We seem to have placed very little emphasis on it with this team, which is odd considering the difference Stokes has made in tests. 

 

Anyway, will be interesting to see what happens in the next 12 months with this side. Just hope fifty over cricket still exists. I reckon if India win the tournament they'll announce to the world that they have decided that's it for this form of the game and everyone can get fucked. 

 

 

Yeah India can get fucked.

[Doc Pheezin]

2 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

 

I think sadly, the opposite was always going to be the case with Boult. As soon as he did that it felt like priorities had changed. Southee is on the slide, I reckon.

 

Jamieson's big inury has obviously made the comeback quite slow. Henry, I like a lot (been top class for Somertset). 

 

 

Hard to gauge with England, they'd argue it is first choice. I guess Archer would probably play if fit and anywhere near back to his best. The main problem has been not making any changes over the last few years though. We won the 20 over comp and naively, and arrogantly, thought that would mean this same group is still good enough to compete here. It isn't. Brook and Atkinson not playing has been bizarre. Hopefully it signals the end of the like to Bairstow in this form of the game. He's not alone though in looking like he doesn't really give a fuck.

 

The contract fiasco in the middle of the tournament was real icing on the cake. Feel for David Willey, whatever you think of him as a player (and I think he's done okay), he was treated like shit.

 

The "Bazball" short term success has basically led to England smelling themselves, and looking like complete weapons here.

 

Yeah absolutely re: Boult and Southee. 

My choice is Ferguson, but I might be slightly blinded by the moustache and number 69 on his back 

 

Is 'weapon' a diss? I would use it as a positive 

 

Love the Bazball too... 

 

[Manny]

Anyone catch what happened in the Sri Lanka / Bangladesh game? Angelo Mathews the first batsman to be timed out in an international match. He came onto the field well within his two minutes, but then noticed his chin strap wasn't working properly. While he was faffing around with it and asking for a replacement, he went over his two minutes so the opposition captain (Shakib) appealed to the umpire for timed out and the umpire had to dismiss him.

 

As per the Bairstow stuff in the summer, I reckon this is pretty rank form. Another dismissal where the batsman isn't attempting to play the game in any way but the fielding side ultimately decide to unilaterally play on and get him out - and Mathews is a dangerous batsman. Sneaky, underhand shit - and this is probably worse as the rules are a mess; if he'd simply taken guard and then put his hand up before the ball was bowled he would be immune from the dismissal.

 

For a safety equipment failure it sends out completely the wrong fucking message as well. A fucking pox on them.

[Jairzinho]

You need a bit of that.

[lifetime fan]

On 05/11/2023 at 18:56, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

As much as I love Stokes if you cannot bowl no place  

As test captain he should have never been picked, he should have had the surgery as soon as the ashes was over and spent time recuperating.
 

He knows his eating disorder is affecting his injury/health/recovery and he just wanted a bit of glory instead of getting fit.