The world of a woman.

[Harry Squatter]

Never ever fall into the trap of "don't get me anything for valentines day"

[Guest davelfc]

Never ever fall into the trap of "don't get me anything for valentines day"

 

This should be the first thing a man learns, then it should be stamped in his brain.

 

It's a nasty trap.

[lifetime fan]

Never ever fall into the trap of "don't get me anything for valentines day"

 

 

First valentines together as husband and wife and thought I better check as we normally do fuck all other than cards and me cooking. Nothing new there.

 

She said there was no point so I bought myself The Shield DVD box set and the Italian away 6 nations top.

 

I'm almost hoping I got this wrong as I'll get another quality present off her and I can't afford shit till pay day.

[Captain Turdseye]

I had to explain to my bird that Panama was a real place the other day. She got really confused while I was explaining that Central America and South America aren't part of the USA. It was at this point that she told me that she thought Argentina was next to Holland.

 

*Insert standard 'She's clever most of the time' line.*

[Champ]

Got in this morning after work, I've had some tea and toast and I'm just starting to tidy up the kitchen before going to bed.....Mr Champ comes into the kitchen, 'I'll do that' he says, taking the milk out of my hand, 'you get off to bed..' 'Ah, that's nice', I thought, gratefully accepting the offer, thinking I'd get up later to a nice tidy kitchen. Er,no. He'd put the milk away..........and left everything else just as it was!

 

I'm missing something here...

 

What's he done wrong exactly?

 

I wish someone else had been there when I walked into the kitchen....absolutely hilarious...I'm still smiling thinking about it now

What was I even thinking about?

[Harry Squatter]

Some bird who works with me told her fella last year that she never wanted anything for valentines day and never wanted to go out so her fella went the pub on his own to watch footy. She came back from lunch the next day in a proper foul mood and had a face on all afternoon.

 

Next day she came in and still had a face on, I emailed her and asked her what was up. She said she had a blazing row with her fella when she got in about them doing nothing for valentines day. She then said one of her mates she went to lunch with was being taken to Paris on the Saturday and the other went out for a meal at a hotel in southport. She had obviously got a cob on and felt left out and as she said "taken for granted"

 

Next day she came in with a smile on her face saying that he had bought her perfume and booked a spa day for her and also paid for her mate probably costing about 300 quid. He left a card saying "I'm really really sorry babe"

[Cushty92]

Some bird who works with me told her fella last year that she never wanted anything for valentines day and never wanted to go out so her fella went the pub on his own to watch footy. She came back from lunch the next day in a proper foul mood and had a face on all afternoon.

 

Next day she came in and still had a face on, I emailed her and asked her what was up. She said she had a blazing row with her fella when she got in about them doing nothing for valentines day. She then said one of her mates she went to lunch with was being taken to Paris on the Saturday and the other went out for a meal at a hotel in southport. She had obviously got a cob on and felt left out and as she said "taken for granted"

 

Next day she came in with a smile on her face saying that he had bought her perfume and booked a spa day for her and also paid for her mate probably costing about 300 quid. He left a card saying "I'm really really sorry babe"

 

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Sometimes it's just better to bite the bullet and blag that they're in the right. At the end of the day they know intrinsically your relationship is merely you keeping them content enough to play hide the sausage.

[Guest davelfc]

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Sometimes it's just better to bite the bullet and blag that they're in the right. At the end of the day they know intrinsically your relationship is merely you keeping them content enough to play hide the sausage.

 

It boils down to to, women have sex when they want to, men have sex when they can.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Haha. Guilty.

 

I've had about 9 negs and 1 rep this week. Need to up my game...

 

Lewis playing the long game with those birds, all sounds rapey though

 

It is rather rapey yes, but I confuse them into giving me consent, or prey on them when they are at their most vulnerable. I'd make a great psychologist.

[Cushty92]

It boils down to to, women have sex when they want to, men have sex when they can.

 

Sad but true, such is life.

[TheBitch]

 

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Sometimes it's just better to bite the bullet and blag that they're in the right. At the end of the day they know intrinsically your relationship is merely you keeping them content enough to play hide the sausage.

 

No. Never.

[Liverpool lad]

Mrs Ll is getting nothing, not even a card and she is not getting anything for me

 

I am coming home from work and having pancakes watching the match.

[TheBitch]

I'm going the pub to watch the match, one of my mates has told me there'll deffo be a few 'strays' out on valentines. 'A few lonely hearts going out to pretend everything is ok.'

 

I hope he's right.

[Rico1304]

I trot out the line "everyday is Valentines day in our house" most years and get away with just a card and maybe a meal the weekend after the event. This year is the first with a babyso I've bitten the bullet and ordered flowers. However to reaffirm my manhood I bartered down the price by a fiver and had delvery thrown in.

[Joe Le Taxi]

I'm going the pub to watch the match, one of my mates has told me there'll deffo be a few 'strays' out on valentines. 'A few lonely hearts going out to pretend everything is ok.'

 

I hope he's right.

 

What happened to that Leeds wench?

 

Do I have permission to stalk?

 

Also, the bird with dat ass has a black boyfriend who will no doubt let her down for valentines day and I am working with her the next day, and she has agreed to go to a party with me that night, plus we have work on Saturday together.

 

If things go wrong, I'm gonna offer her a place to stay Friday night as the party is round the corner from my house.

 

I'll see how things go.

[manwiththestick]

Just realised upon writing out the card for the wife that it says for my girlfriend on the front, I really should have paid attention. This will go one of two ways; she'll laugh it off as a silly mistake, drop to her knees and nosh away or have a cob on for the rest of the week whilst telling me how so and so in work got flowers delivered and taken to Paris or some shit.

[Guest davelfc]

Just realised upon writing out the card for the wife that it says for my girlfriend on the front, I really should have paid attention. This will go one of two ways; she'll laugh it off as a silly mistake, drop to her knees and nosh away or have a cob on for the rest of the week whilst telling me how so and so in work got flowers delivered and taken to Paris or some shit.

 

Tell her your girlfriend found the wife card funny.

[General Dryness]

Also, the bird with dat ass has a black boyfriend who will no doubt let her down for valentines day and I am working with her the next day, and she has agreed to go to a party with me that night, plus we have work on Saturday together.

 

If things go wrong, I'm gonna offer her a place to stay Friday night as the party is round the corner from my house.

 

I'll see how things go.

 

Yeah, he'll probably be out bustin caps and smokin blunts with one of his other hos, then chillin at his crib. The big playa. Fair enough too, I'd be playing the field as well if I had an enormous penis just like all black chaps do.

 

Seriously though Lewis, that reads like you think he'll let her down because he's black.

[TheBitch]

 

What happened to that Leeds wench?

 

Do I have permission to stalk?

 

Also' date=' the bird with dat ass has a black boyfriend who will no doubt let her down for valentines day and I am working with her the next day, and she has agreed to go to a party with me that night, plus we have work on Saturday together.

 

If things go wrong, I'm gonna offer her a place to stay Friday night as the party is round the corner from my house.

 

I'll see how things go.[/quote']

 

Stalk away mate. She's sent me 52 messages without me replying.

[Tom R]

Leeds you say?

do go on...

[TheBitch]

Leeds you say?

do go on...

 

21 year old completely mental Uni slag.

 

Sounds alright doesn't it.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Yeah, he'll probably be out bustin caps and smokin blunts with one of his other hos, then chillin at his crib. The big playa. Fair enough too, I'd be playing the field as well if I had an enormous penis just like all black chaps do.

 

Seriously though Lewis, that reads like you think he'll let her down because he's black.

 

Haha I was being sarcastic, playing off the stereotype that all black men cheat.

 

I meant no offence by it pal.

 

Saying that, every mixed raced or black lad I know has cheated on their bird and a few of my friends have been cheated on by their fellas who were again, black or mixed raced...

[Joe Le Taxi]

Stalk away mate. She's sent me 52 messages without me replying.

 

She's at Uni of Leeds isn't she? I was down there not so long ago as my mate let me stay at his. I ended up battered on the wrong floor in his halls and scared a fresher from Essex.

[General Dryness]

Haha I was being sarcastic, playing off the stereotype that all black men cheat.

 

I meant no offence by it pal.

 

Saying that, every mixed raced or black lad I know has cheated on their bird and a few of my friends have been cheated on by their fellas who were again, black or mixed raced...

 

Ahh fuck, no worries, wasn't offended at all mate. Was just wondering where you were going with it, thats all.

 

I did the stereotype thing as well, just less subtly.

[A_S]

Timed it well. Was up early to watch the fo#ty this morning, cooked up a brekky for both of us as I had a bit more time on my hands. Only added a single rose and a card which cost fuck all and took 2 minutes prep time, then gave her hers in bed.

 

Then I organised so that tonight we would get to have our first look at a puppy we are getting soon and played it off as 'something nice we can do together'. Minimal effort on my part and the missus is still made up as fuck about the day, so tonight will be a good'un.

 

Win-fucking-win!