Chelsea - a force for good!?!

[Paul Don]

I saw this and was immediately drawn by its oh so witty and derogatory comments about Scousers. Bloody hell will they get some fresh material??

 

Also have to laugh at the fact that the writer is a long term Chelsea fan and his attempts to justify their 'benevolance'!!

 

Please be sure to be sitting comfortably as sides may well be split.

 

 

 

 

From F365

 

'Arise Sir Roman, Football Benefactor'

Wednesday July 26 2006

By An Anonymous Chelsea Fan

 

 

 

 

So no sooner has the Salford Red-Nosed One accused CFC of 'ruining the game' than Roman Abramovich cements his place as world football's biggest and most generous benefactor by gifting Damien Duff to the Barcodes.

 

Poor old Fergie (and of course it was only a week or so ago that Tubby Benitez was mouthing off about all the money CFC have blah blah blah) had the ground cut away from beneath his feet once more, as who could possibly consider Roman to be an enemy of the game when he routinely puts significant folding green stuff into virtually every club with which CFC does business?

 

Now whilst the whining from the likes of these two and the Whinger over in N5 is driven by one painfully obvious thing (in case anyone is still unsure it is spelt ENVY), even they (in their more private moments) must have a laugh at some of the tosh they come out with.

 

I mean, this deadly danger to English, no European, no global football, is such a threat that he either significantly overpays for virtually every player we buy, or sells those we want to offload at giveaway prices. Even those not at the front of the grey matter queue can see that to do both of these things can only be a benefit to the other clubs involved (and therefore the football merry-go-round in general).

 

Even ManUSA have benefited when Sven decided that Juan Veron was the man for us and the N5 nomads will probably do likewise when Mr Tweedy moves across to the upmarket part of town. The unwashed up on Merseyside had their chance when Stevie G had the chance to come south and improve his accent but in the end he bottled it (and to think that some want to make him England captain!).

 

No, the only person who should be getting upset about Roman's spending is poor (not literally) old Peter Kenyon. Having nailed his colours to the mast with claims of running CFC like a normal business and breaking even in 2010, he now sees what everyone else could see, which is that if Roman wants to spend HIS money he will. Breaking even probably isn't even on his radar.

 

CFC is not a normal business and never will be whilst Roman is in charge. Normal fiscal rules do not apply (and do Fergie, Tubby Benitez and the Whinger not like that) and the amounts paid out/received for players underline that perfectly. One might question the role of the suits down SW6 way, who like to kid themselves that they are up to their necks in muck and bullets trying to turn the club into a business that stands comparison with other normal businesses. But as this will never happen (whilst Roman is about) you have to wonder why there are so many of them, with salaries to match their job titles, and ask what it is they actually do?

 

For me, if Roman wants to pay out a fortune for players and then sell them at bargain prices that's up to him; if he wants to then pay the staff at the club outrageous salaries that is also up to him; and if he wants to employ an army of fancy-titled suits and pay them a small fortune, that again is his prerogative.

 

However, if he wants to do these things but Kenyon thinks the fans are going to pay for it because he is (jokingly) trying to run a business, that's a different matter. As a long-standing CFC fan, my expectations are that the generosity Roman has shown to virtually all clubs they do business with, plus everyone we employ, should be extended to the fans (without whom there would be no club). Freezing ticket prices for the coming season was a good start (although others have done the same - notably Man City, for whom the £21m received for SWP no doubt helped) but charging £40 for a pre-season friendly is not a good follow-up.

 

Still, for his services to world football O_o (you can just imagine chairmen/owners around the globe going to bed at night and praying for CFC to have an interest in one of their players) no doubt a Nobel prize or perhaps a knighthood is just around the corner. 'Arise Sir Roman' has a nice ring to it and wouldn't that just put the cat amongst the pigeons over in N5 or up in Mancland and particularly amongst the shell-suited fraternity in that provincial town on the Mersey (you know the one)?

 

What with all the fuss being created by the N5 nomads over Mr Tweedy's imminent departure, the media getting all righteous about CFC's transfer dealings and the hot weather, it is turning out to be a very good week...

[Stouffer]

Is it something to do with playing in blue that makes you totally deluded?

[Original202]

I don't see anything alarming in that piece.

 

And where are the derogatory comments about Scousers? There's nothing remotely insulting in that - especially when you compare it to what we all write about them, which if they read, they'd probably think we were equally deluding and hilarious.

 

It's a completely irrelevant article, the last bit about 'Sir Roman' is funny, but the rest is just irrelevant Chelsea chit chat which doesn't need to be brought onto TLW. There's certainly nothing in there which should prompt a discussion more than any other articles from any other set of fans talking about their own club. But because it's Chelsea it must be worth sharing.

 

And it's not even Charity Shield week yet when the anti-Chelsea stuff will reach melting point. Likewise, I'm sure there'll be more similar articles on Chelsea sites.

 

I don't give a fuck about them anymore. Leave them be and stop worrying about them.

[Lisa]

I see it is by An Anonymous Chelsea Fan. If you are going to write something, you should put your name to it.

[Paul Don]

The great unwashed, shellsuits, improve accents......OK nothing strictly derogatory per se, just tired old sterotypes which we've learned to accept from any old club. I retract that one then.

 

But as for nothing alarming? I find it concerning that supporters of another club can be so deluded as to think that what has happened post Abramovich can be a good thing for football as a whole. It's so typical of modern football fans to crave immediate success and to hell with the long term consequences. If Chelsea were to implode in the next few years, we'd be happy and laugh but the knock on effect would be huge for all clubs.

[rebel23]

 

"For me, if Roman wants to pay out a fortune for players and then sell them at bargain prices that's up to him; if he wants to then pay the staff at the club outrageous salaries that is also up to him; and if he wants to employ an army of fancy-titled suits and pay them a small fortune, that again is his prerogative."

 

this is an incredibly stupid and short sighted thesis which ignores the fact that it's all loans from Millhouse capital to Chelsea FC ltd. the joke is on them

[Original202]

But as for nothing alarming? I find it concerning that supporters of another club can be so deluded as to think that what has happened post Abramovich can be a good thing for football as a whole. It's so typical of modern football fans to crave immediate success and to hell with the long term consequences. If Chelsea were to implode in the next few years, we'd be happy and laugh but the knock on effect would be huge for all clubs.

 

But we don't know this is how all Chelsea supporters feel about Abramovich. I've heard plenty of them on radio phone ins voicing concerns about the long term future of their club. As well as from the trusted "friend of a friend's uncle".

 

And many supporters (This one being one of them) live in their own little bubble anyway and think everything about their own club is great, without being able to view things from a more balanced perspective.

 

Abramovich's money isn't good for football and I think most people know that, one or two deluded Chelsea fans apart.

[Kopite]

"Tubby Benitez" - ouch my aching sides.

 

How old is the author of that article? 4?

 

Tubby - ho ho ho. Give him a show with Chris Morris.

[bonzo]

"Tubby Benitez" - ouch my aching sides.

 

How old is the author of that article? 4?

 

Tubby - ho ho ho. Give him a show with Chris Morris.

It just shows how professional, sane and generally fantastic Benitez is, if 'tubby' is the best they can come up with after 2 seasons.

[RedinSweden]

I see it is by An Anonymous Chelsea Fan. If you are going to write something, you should put your name to it.

 

But if you were a Chelsea fan, you'd stay anonymous

[Lisa]

But if you were a Chelsea fan, you'd stay anonymous

Ha, ha, that's true. At least we don't get many of their fans in Grimsby, I may have seen one or two Chelsea shirts.

 

I had a weird dream about Mourinho the other night. He was up a tree in my back garden spying on me. I hope this means I am not a secret Chelsea fan....

[aws]

Ha, ha, that's true. At least we don't get many of their fans in Grimsby, I may have seen one or two Chelsea shirts.

 

I had a weird dream about Mourinho the other night. He was up a tree in my back garden spying on me. I hope this means I am not a secret Chelsea fan....

 

Don't want to worry you about your sub-conscious longings but isn't a tree one of the strongest Freudian symbols?

 

Where's YKI?

[Lisa]

Don't want to worry you about your sub-conscious longings but isn't a tree one of the strongest Freudian symbols?

 

Where's YKI?

I don't think I really want to know!

[Nunavut Patrick]

Ha, ha, that's true. At least we don't get many of their fans in Grimsby, I may have seen one or two Chelsea shirts.

 

I had a weird dream about Mourinho the other night. He was up a tree in my back garden spying on me. I hope this means I am not a secret Chelsea fan....

 

Mourinho represents your secret desire to be a UN translator in New York City and not a fisherperson, the tree represents eternal hope because even if the leaves (your hopes and dreams) fall off every autumn, the spring will bring renewal. The back garden suggests a place where a dark secret is kept- perhaps an illicit liason, a 10p gum you nicked from the candy shop, you told a boy your friend liked but you liked as well that she was smelly. The spying represents an overbearing parent or significant other always trying to tell you how to run your life and suppressing your dreams.

 

Or perhaps it was some acidic Beaujolais.

[kelly jones]

i dont really no why we bother putting their deluded shite on our pages. nobody actually cares about the chavs their not a big club and they never will be.

[Lisa]

Mourinho represents your secret desire to be a UN translator in New York City and not a fisherperson, the tree represents eternal hope because even if the leaves (your hopes and dreams) fall off every autumn, the spring will bring renewal. The back garden suggests a place where a dark secret is kept- perhaps an illicit liason, a 10p gum you nicked from the candy shop, you told a boy your friend liked but you liked as well that she was smelly. The spying represents an overbearing parent or significant other always trying to tell you how to run your life and suppressing your dreams.

 

Or perhaps it was some acidic Beaujolais.

My co-workers are now looking at me, wondering why I am giggling to myself! I won't tell you if any of it is true, but some parts may be.

[Nunavut Patrick]

My co-workers are now looking at me, wondering why I am giggling to myself! I won't tell you if any of it is true, but some parts may be.

 

 

Didn't have you done a candy shop thief.

[Strontium]

Now whilst the whining from the likes of these two and the Whinger over in N5 is driven by one painfully obvious thing (in case anyone is still unsure it is spelt ENVY)

 

I don't envy Chelsea one little bit. I don't envy the lack of class, the lack of history, the lack of decorum, the lack of soul, the lack of perspective nor - indeed - the lack of silverware.

 

In some ways I actually feel sorry for the genuine Chelsea fans (there are still a few among the bandwagoners); even if their club achieves anything of note, the credit will be laid entirely at the feet of those who provide the finance than any great footballing genius.

 

I'd actually be mortified if our club had the amount of money that Chelsea has. So not envious one little bit.

[Cath]

I'd actually be mortified if our club had the amount of money that Chelsea has. So not envious one little bit.

Spot on. In a parallel universe where we pipped Chelsea to the 4th CL spot.....

[Paco]

chelsea - a form of food?

 

dog food

[Nunavut Patrick]

Spot on. In a parallel universe where we pipped Chelsea to the 4th CL spot.....

 

 

Sami's goal stood up and history was changed forever. Houllier was kept on as we had a lock on 4th and Chelsea went bankrupt, oh hang on maybe the parallel universe isn't so good....Rashid, get that wig and lipstick off, Gay Pride Parade is next week...

[Section_31]

Now whilst the whining from the likes of these two and the Whinger over in N5 is driven by one painfully obvious thing (in case anyone is still unsure it is spelt ENVY)

 

I don't envy Chelsea one little bit. I don't envy the lack of class, the lack of history, the lack of decorum, the lack of soul, the lack of perspective nor - indeed - the lack of silverware.

 

In some ways I actually feel sorry for the genuine Chelsea fans (there are still a few among the bandwagoners); even if their club achieves anything of note, the credit will be laid entirely at the feet of those who provide the finance than any great footballing genius.

 

I'd actually be mortified if our club had the amount of money that Chelsea has. So not envious one little bit.

 

Spot on, the Chavs could win the treble every year for the next decade and still gain no respect for their 'achievements.'

 

When thir period of success is finished, everyone else will just remember it like a bad case of the shits in the night..

[cracko]

" One might question the role of the suits down SW6 way, "

 

 

SW6 is actually fulham the district of cheslea is in SW3

 

Craven Cottage,

Stevenage Road,

London, SW6 6HH

 

Chelsea Football Club

Stamford Bridge

Fulham Road

London

SW6 1HS

[Karl_b]

" One might question the role of the suits down SW6 way, "

 

 

SW6 is actually fulham the district of cheslea is in SW3

 

Craven Cottage,

Stevenage Road,

London, SW6 6HH

 

Chelsea Football Club

Stamford Bridge

Fulham Road

London

SW6 1HS

 

 

:whistle:

[cracko]

i mean stamford bridge is actually in fulham