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Lockyer is “alert and responsive” according to Sky.

I always have a hatred for people who say "5 bells" when describing the time and people who refer to their youngest kid as "der babeeee" even though they are about 25.

Pretty much everytime TLW goes big, it goes bad. This is a game I would take a scruffy 1 nil and be happy.

Happy Christmas Stig, a picture of the pub from Kin taken 20 minutes ago, just for you.

Crystal Palace were so tough today, guys. So, so tough.

Fuck off.

Another arsehole. I think it's lack of life experience. It used to make me mad when my arl fella used to say you don't know what you're talking about because you haven't lived yet, when I was a teenager, but he was right. They don't know right from wrong in cases like that because life hasn't hit them yet. Saying that my dad used to still say that shit to me when I was married with 3 kids. Miss the old bastard.

How much do you think he'd pay us?

Either or, I'm not fussy.

We need to be right on it. No complacency. We give away far too many chances from turnovers to suggest that this is a forgone conclusion - the one thing they do have is some pace up front. So we need to be right in our attitude and knock off the sloppy shite. Also want to see Anfield bouncing - we should never forget how much we have had to suffer these bastards gloating and being cunts - does not matter if they are dogshite - it is still them, the rat bastards, and Anfield should always be a cauldron for them. A fired up Anfield helps see a fired up team.

The numbers are in and the final total for the 2023 Christmas collection is £672.95. Thanks to everyone involved

Work-rate. Incisiveness. Nous. I don't ask for much. This is how it's gonna be. Build from the ground up. Domestic football all the way until February now, and first up are the Red half from Manchester and their beleaguered boss Ten Hag. They have provided much comedy gold already this season, and come into this one with a lengthy injury list. Captain Shithouse is missing through suspension, and Slabhead picked up a knock in the midweek defeat to Bayern. It's an opportunity for us to do the sort of thing we have done many times in recent years. And this one will be in front of the largest Anfield crowd since the days of Shankly, as the ARE Upper is open for business after a 4 month delay. It's not yet at capacity and there is still quite a bit to fit out, but it is certainly welcome to be able to play in front of a larger crowd on our home turf. Last season's fixture needs no introduction. An incredible experience that has been immortalised at the top of this very site, and the sort of thing that Ferguson's great sides never delivered against the also-rans of Liverpool from the 90s onwards. And yet the first half was fairly closely fought, with United's crybaby Portuguese shithouse putting a diving header just wide for their best chance. We grabbed the lead just before half time when Cody was found in the inside left channel by an excellent (and delayed) pass by Robbo. Cody cut inside the covering defender and arrowed a low effort into the far corner past a static De Gea. The second half attacking the Kop was just an absolute treat. Darwin doubled our advantage with a close-range header from a cross by Harvey. Goal number three is the best of the bunch for sheer quality, as a quick counter saw Mo find space down the right. He tied Lisandro Martinez in knots before disguising a pass into Cody's untracked run inside. The angle was tight but Cody deftly lifted the ball over the onrushing De Gea and into the far corner. We now looked like we could dismantle them again but I doubt any one expected what followed. Mo got in on the act with his customary goal against the Mancs, firing into the roof of the net from just inside the area when a loose ball broke to him. Darwin got his second and our fifth with a flicked header from Hendo's left-wing cross. Mo and the Reds still weren't done, and he bagged his second and our sixth, firing in from close range after a bit of ping pong in the United penalty area. By this point, United had given up and their captain was the worst offender, offering no effort and plenty of petulance. We still had time for my favourite goal, not because it was a great goal but because of the scorer. It was Bobby's final season in a Reds shirt. It was fitting that he complete the rout and everybody loved it. SEVEN NIL! As their own trophy-laden former manager once said, "Football. Bloody hell!" Jurgen rested the big names for the Union SG games. We are still without Joel, Robbo, Baj, Mac, Thiago and Diogo, but the rest should be available for this one. We have lacked a cohesive performance for several weeks now despite picking up results, and it's largely been down to the subs taking the game by the scruff of the neck. However under-strength United are shouldn't matter, as it should be about our players' performance and impact. It's an opportunity to maintain (or regain, depending on what Arsenal and Villa do) our top spot in the league, which any win will do. No assuming that things will go like last year's game though. Maximum motivation, concentration, attitude and application from first minute to last as always. Three points please. Get it done!

I have to admit i refer to my lad as the baby and he is 14 ... my wife who is a southerner does not understand it at all. I need to stop. I am quite proud of fact she says 'THE asda' now though.

If I'm awake I'll try and find a stream to report to the authorities. Really hope Covington gets his head taken off.

I think the best thing that's come out of all this is that the rest of English footy has gotten a glimpse of what we've had to deal with for decades, I.e that they're utterly mental.

I think being an anti vaxxer knobhead is also a sign of ESD. Bleating on about the vaccine whilst being a hairdresser or beautician that only takes cash and then snorting all kinds at the weekend.

Time for us to administer the coup de grâce and relieve poor Ten Hag of his burden, allowing him to enjoy Christmas free from the torment of managerial responsibility.

"TOP 2 BILLION THINGS A SCOUSE NAN WOULD SAY"

Anyone fancy chipping in for a few small mice as a present for Roy Hodgson? Our win away against Palace last week looks that little bit more impressive too.

We’ll have ourselves a happy owl this week!

Always thought that Palace manager was alright.... Actually did i shite but we'll take this favour, ta.

You're a ruthless little cunt, Jarell, I'll give you that. But I've got no time for grasses.

Give a man a sandwich, you fed him for a day. Give him a tank, he can take other people's sandwiches whenever he needs to.

And what a day that would be.

A mate saw McCoist at a sportsman’s dinner a couple of years back and the comedian asked him if he’d shagged Sue Barker. his response was “Aye, and so would every bloke here given the chance”.

Very late to the party but I’ve been blasting through House of Cards (the US version) on Netflix. Top drawer television.

Can't post the dick pics as it'll take up the site's bandwidth, but here's Luxmy- https://x.com/pmqskeir/status/1735794619118449124?s=20

Give him the job as leader of the Tory party til the end of the season/their demise.

Is that a colloquialism for Childwall?

I'm not sure he's as good as everyone is making out at the moment. He's very young though so plenty room for improvement & I'd agree that he should stay at Anfield rather than get loaned out.

Let him go in Jan - use the 200k a week towards paying a new centre half and his replacement who can both have half a season settling in/bedding in and who will both without doubt add more than he will. A lot of moving parts there, like someone taking him and the players we want being attainable - but IMO we should try our best to make it happen.

Not arsed about McGuinness, but if QoS is cancelled then this means less Sam Quek on the telly and that doesn't sit well with me.

Can we get him to do question time next?

The solution is easy here. Get your kids down the Pier Head and around town all day for the parade when we win the league this season. The scenes will make them want it to happen every year.

Repworthy use of the word "paltry".

I am the only one in my entire family into it, so the odds of my 6 and 3 years old loving it seem low. If my dad had liked it I would probably be a Leeds fan though, so just as well.

I made a lamb methi last night, was amazing but no pictures unfortunately.

Was about to type the same thing. Want a Coca-Cola? Coke or Coca-Cola will do. Want a Diet Coke? Ask for one. Full fat Coke is up there with man-flu as wanky new phrases.

I feel like I might’ve gone full CD here, but I’m not well, and this felt like something I could enjoy. ham, chips and pears wrap. washed down with tea, lemon and honey. while I watch the crying game for the first time.

I’d have paid good money to have been there when John called Keane an Irish prick. That’s fucking brilliant.

Made a fish pie tonight.

I would prefer to avoid Roma at all costs for the safety of our support. Fucking animals those cunts.

Hahahaha stitched up like a kipper