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Delighted for you. I was diagnosed in November with a tumour in my tongue. Had surgery to take the bastard out within 18 days. Started radiotherapy and chemotherapy in March. The fucking pain in my mouth has been horrific. On morphine for last 6 months but trying to wean off now as the pain decreases but that is causing me to be so fucked tired. More than half my tongue is from a skin graft of my thigh - 29 stitches and is still a fair bit swollen resulting in it chafing against my teeth while asleep. Its improving all the time but it is fucking slow. Meeting my surgeon on 31st May. I'm hoping he gives me good news and I can have a double celebration on the 1st June. By the way, the season Liverpool have had has made a sick, tired and sore man very happy this past 6 months and I can't believe fans of any other club can laugh at us at the moment. We are the lucky ones. That being said, I'd be gutted if we don't win in Madrid.

Lot’s of baldy shouts on here, I think I speak for other folically challenged posters here, why the baldy? Is it the only thing you can call the little prick? When is attacking a person for being bald going to be a hate crime? #metoupe

Was it his English tutor?

Thanks for all the messages, I really appreciate them - it's a great boost at a bad time. Not out of the woods yet, with the all clear, but the objective latterly was to get through it and be in a position to be able to enjoy the Final (maybe with a pint). So far so good. Happy trails and safe returns to all who are going further afield (or to the Brick). YNWA. Come on, you mighty Reds!

I'm reading this post in the voice of Jay from The Inbetweeners.

Did you cook the scrambled eggs in a tumble dryer?

We best fucking sign this cunt now. Took me fifteen minutes to convert that so it'd all embed on the site.

That's the kind of thing I'd serve a house guest I wanted to leave.

Also, if you encounter any linguistic difficulties, don't try and find out the Spanish word for what you require. Just say it in English, but a lot louder and slower than you'd usually speak. If that fails, add the letter O onto the end of the English word. They love all that kind of thing in Spain.

Nice bit of trolling by Barney Ronay...

FA CUNT FINAL.

The BBC are a bit too far up City's arse for me Clive

Who isn’t.

Which one of you degenerates was responsible for this?

I don't know yet but I'm made up: just discharged from hospital after 3 months of chemo and feeling a bit sickly; but relieved another cycle of treatment wasn't booked in, as it could have run up to the game. Three weeks now to get fighting fit to get to a pub and be able to enjoy it. Allez Allez Allez!

Just come up trumps in ballot. Get fucking in!

Bang in the middle of his GCSE's my 15 year old tells me that one of his teachers, as a bit of light relief, decided to discuss LSD??? And as a consequnce showed various 1960's and 70's recoreds that referenced said recreational pursuit. The one he remembered the most was this, as he liked the heavy Bass and decided to show me, the cheeky fucker also asked me what LSD was like. Considering its the Moody Blues it's not a bad choice. Really must check out this teacher, he may be cool as fuck or a complete wrong'un.

This dude just rhymed Ramadan with Jackie Chan. No point in anybody else showing up, his name should already be on the trophy.

Cheating twat at chess you mean

Pep doesn't like money related questions.

When someone said Bring Back Biscan they didn't mean you.

The Premier League has now become the SPL. And no one in the media is doing anything about it, other than wank themselves silly. You shouldn’t be winning the FA Cup by six goals. It’s bollocks.

Fuckin' Hermes.

Don’t put yourselves through it lads. Not worth the bother.

On Sky Arts there's a 1994 live performance of Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd. Probably another, but more acceptable, example of narcotic enhanced performance.

You just have to hope Watford don’t go all alehouse and kick lumps out of the mercenaries. That would be awful

I feel sorry for Sean Cox's relatives and the relatives of the people who died at Hillsborough. I think I would lose the plot and go on a stabbing spree if he was related to me or one of my family died at Hillsborough. Listening to that shite week in week out off total cunts who just pass it off as banter. Even the victims of Heysel just get used as a point scoring exercise by rival fans. The people who go on about it don't even know what happened.

Brazil will continue to be a circus act for as long as they build the team around that shit mong Neymar.

I'm not that impressed with Pepe. He does the same move to beat a player every time - hits the ball from his left to right foot and then goes past the player. He doesn't have any technical refinement. I heard that he was a goalkeeper until his late teens, which would explain his lack of fundamentals. He's a great athlete but that's about it. Ziyech on the other hand seems to have it all. He can play short intricate passes, he can stretch the play like Gerrard. He's more two footed. He presses with intensity. His tactical and technical awareness seems to be much higher than Pepe, and he's more proven at world level.

Sorry mate, yeah I was being a bit of an obtuse dick. It happens from time to time!

Nail on head. Not only city fans but also the everton bandwagon jumpers along with loads of other fans bang on about the disgraceful coach attack and suddenly being 'battered in the street' and 'victims of it all' is casually swept aside from any criticism. Even then if it is addressed it's a case of 'well you attacked the coach so getting battered in the street is just what you deserve.' Well, that's ok then. Except it isnt. I used to go to Maine Road with a couple of my City mates in the late 60's early 70's. It makes me shake my head when I read city fans saying Liverpool 'bought' success through the 70's. Oh really, so what about city in the late 60's early 70's then? I guess that's different, eh? Im also finding it distasteful the mantra coming out of city and even their ex players that 'no one wanted liverpool to win' with shaun wright phillips (who?) weighing in with such comments. When did football become like this? We seem to be having a case of absolute (footballing) power corrupts absolutely. Some folk, even on here, say to just ignore it. But how can you ignore football revisionism and the lie repeated so often it becomes the truth? There's something rotten in football now since the likes of Abramovic and Mansour came in and started throwing their money around in unprecedented amounts. Not even united and ferguson spoke of such shit about Liverpool outspending everyone in the 60s, 70s and 80s. I can only think of the season we bought Barnes, Aldridge and Beardsley where that was correct but even then, that was funded by Rush's transfer plus £500,000 cash.

You know that “missing” rasher has gone to Maddie under the stairs.

Nonce

If that was on a menu it would be called 'The Full Saville' Negged.

Don't worry mate, you'll get over her eventually.

My ideal stag do. Please don't arrange any fun activities like quad bikes or paintball. Fucking torture. It's your mates; go to the pub.

Someone's drip feeding the media about the massive increase in wages so I do wonder if we will sit on our arse and just sign squad fillers. Be a mistake if we do, don't want another copy of the last 3vtimes we have been runners up

Tune

What a miserable, miserable post. He's done ok. He will be class

"You know I really like you but how we carry on seeing each other after you pissed on my Dad's face" I couldn't really argue with that one.