The world of a woman.

[lifetime fan]

Mine's a weird fucker (aren't they all).

 

She pays off a £14k loan for me and moans I've spent a fiver on a few beers after I've spent two days decorating her mams house.

 

The next week she spends a grand from her savings because she thinks I need a holiday.

 

Not a fucking ounce of logic or common sense.

[ZonkoVille77]

Sounds like 2 nice things she's done for you there. I wouldn't be upset at that.

[General Dryness]

Mine's a weird fucker (aren't they all).

 

She pays off a £14k loan for me and moans I've spent a fiver on a few beers after I've spent two days decorating her mams house.

 

The next week she spends a grand from her savings because she thinks I need a holiday.

 

Not a fucking ounce of logic or common sense.

Theres a name for that condition.

 

Its called "being a woman".

[Liverpool lad]

Never be that fella who gets pocket money from his missus

[General Dryness]

Never be that fella who gets pocket money from his missus

It would be a sad state of affairs to find your life in.

[lifetime fan]

Sounds like 2 nice things she's done for you there. I wouldn't be upset at that.

Oh she has, she's still a fucking mentalist.

[Hades]

 

 

Mine's a weird fucker (aren't they all).

 

She pays off a £14k loan for me and moans I've spent a fiver on a few beers after I've spent two days decorating her mams house.

 

The next week she spends a grand from her savings because she thinks I need a holiday.

 

Not a fucking ounce of logic or common sense.

Most women I've met are penny wise and pound foolish. It's in their gathering DNA to obsess over small details while missing the bigger picture.

[Mook]

Why would the hot bird in my work be leaning over the receptionist's desk like that in a wee black dress? She might as well have got a megaphone & shouted 'anybody fancy a good look at my arse?'.

 

She must fucking know she's doing it. fucks sake.

 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Why would the hot bird in my work be leaning over the receptionist's desk like that in a wee black dress? She might as well have got a megaphone & shouted 'anybody fancy a good look at my arse?'.

 

She must fucking know she's doing it. fucks sake.

 

 

You should follow her home. Bitches love romantic gestures.

 

[Mook]

You should follow her home. Bitches love romantic gestures.

 

 

Good shout & if that doesn't work, I'll follow it up with an e-mail tomorrow telling her I want to rattle her in the disabled toilet.

 

Until she's disabled.

[Trumo]

Why would the hot bird in my work be leaning over the receptionist's desk like that in a wee black dress? She might as well have got a megaphone & shouted 'anybody fancy a good look at my arse?'.

 

She must fucking know she's doing it. fucks sake.

 

 

 

Mook's workplace earlier:

 

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

[Dr Nowt]

Good shout & if that doesn't work, I'll follow it up with an e-mail tomorrow telling her I want to rattle her in the disabled toilet.

 

Until she's disabled.

 

Worked for an investment bank supporting a fairly high profile client list when I was 20.  Senior manager appeared at my desk one day with a grave expression, saying we needed to have a chat.  Turned out to be outside the building itself, in a formal space I'd never been to. 

 

His opening gambit was "Before I start, you're not getting out of this one."  He then, trying throughout to maintain a serious demeanour, put his hands over his face and started shaking, before he lost it laughing.  When he could get his words out he told me they'd recently taped everyone's calls for a few days, to go through with us individually and point out what training and improvements were needed.  

 

In mine he'd listened to me arranging to buy weed from a co-worker - the simplistic code of which he misread as me asking her for a blowjob during teabreak, and her agreeing; an accusation I had to just nod at, dumbly - and sharing a litany of filth with various young lasses I got on with around the place itself and within my customer base.  Oh to be that age again.

 

Anyway, he proceeded to read aloud from the thick printed transcript of offending material he'd brought along, and the standout line was "How's about I take you into the disabled toilets and fuck you in the bum?", to a lass I was on more than friendly terms with.  One of the oddest experiences ever, having to wait for him to stop giggling before letting me know if I was going back to the office or being walked straight off site by security.

[Dr Nowt]

Did have to clarify with him that he was quoting me directly for the purposes of that meeting, and wasn't setting blackmail conditions.

[Fowlers God]

Did you get sacked?

[Fowlers God]

Why is it that it could be 100 degrees outside but the fucking tumble dryer still on?

[Mook]

Why is it that it could be 100 degrees outside but the fucking tumble dryer still on?

 

I just laugh about the lights in our house now, every morning I get up during the summer, broad daylight coming through the windows & yet every light in the house is fucking on. It's my first job of the day after a pish, going round turning all the lights off. Same when I get home.

 

I blame women for global warming, the fact that they're always fucking freezing is plenty motive as well.

[Dr Nowt]

Did you get sacked?

No, he kept it to himself and never held it over me or referenced it. Decent bloke as it turned out.

[Bobby Hundreds]

It hit me that I haven't received a copy of Private eye for months, turns out she has been putting them straight in the bin thinking it was charity junk mail. She doesn't even fucking live with me yet.

[Harry Squatter]

Some on my Facebook page are actually asking each other what date is it that the kids go back to school. This has obviously come as a great shock to them as the kids broke up 5 weeks ago.

[Harry Squatter]

Why would the hot bird in my work be leaning over the receptionist's desk like that in a wee black dress? She might as well have got a megaphone & shouted 'anybody fancy a good look at my arse?'.

 

She must fucking know she's doing it. fucks sake.

 

I worked in Littlewoods call centre for two years and there were quite a few tasty birds in there. We always had our calls monitored. Mine were fine until some 18 year old girl stared on my team. She wasn't particularly nice looking but she had one of the biggest and nicest set of tits I've seen in my life. She always wore tight white tops, anyway she sat next to me me for 3 weeks and I got quite friendly with her. My boss then pulls me into a private meeting. He showed me some of the orders that I'd made and I'd sent some old woman in Aberdeen a pair of black Armani Jeans and some fella in London a pair of elasticated keks, the type you see in the Sunday papers magazines even though he was about 22.

 

The manager said that someone listened in on my calls and I never seemed to answer any questions properly as my mind always seemed to be elsewhere. I just made up some blag saying I'd had a lot on my mind with stuff at home. I can't imagine why I wasn't concentrating.

[Sweeney287]

I just laugh about the lights in our house now, every morning I get up during the summer, broad daylight coming through the windows & yet every light in the house is fucking on. It's my first job of the day after a pish, going round turning all the lights off. Same when I get home.

 

I blame women for global warming, the fact that they're always fucking freezing is plenty motive as well.

Exactly the same in our house

 

Curtains are closed, bright sunshine outside, but all the lights are on so she can do her hair..

[lifetime fan]

Why the fuck do they have to try and involve you in family domestics that have fuck all to do with you?

 

You're having an argument with your mam...one of you puts out and one lets me live here rent free. What possible fucking upside is there for me getting involved in your shit.

 

I piss off the woman who's letting me live here rent free and I still don't get laid by the bird as she's in a piss with her mam.

 

Or.

 

I try and keep the mother in law happy and piss off her knowing I won't get laid and that within a week they'll be best mates again and I was the cunt who over stepped the mark.

 

Poor cunt of a dog has been out for 2 hours and counting this evening, and I'm in no hurry to go back.

 

I swear this all boils down to women not being able to shut the fuck up and not being able to not give an opinion about fucking everything to everyone so they expect it from us too.

[Fowlers God]

It's fuck all to do with you Col. There is a family argument that's been going on for over 5 years in our family (extended) my wife has met these people once for 1 hour and thinks she gets to have a say in it all. It's a load of shit. It's my family fuck off.

 

Unless you bird asks you directly for your input stay out and walk the dog.

[Champ]

It's fuck all to do with you Col. There is a family argument that's been going on for over 5 years in our family (extended) my wife has met these people once for 1 hour and thinks she gets to have a say in it all. It's a load of shit. It's my family fuck off.

Unless you bird asks you directly for your input stay out and walk the dog.

And even then the answer is, 'Don't involve me'

[Fowlers God]

And even then the answer is, 'Don't involve me'

Yep. Family arguments are shit.