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Advice (and pisstaking) needed.

Clem H Fandango

By Clem H Fandango,
in GF - General Forum

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Clem H Fandango Veteran

Clem H Fandango

Posted
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Ok, where do I start...

 

Split with ex 2 months ago, she wanted me gone and I was ok with this. However she won't let me see my son at all. She applied for a harassment order and got one because I kept asking for my belongings...I made it quite clear that she gas done well and that I won't be taking electrical items or the car I paid for!

 

Anyway, police have not been helpful in helping me get my stuff back and just talk to me like I am an agressive ex. I have tried to be amicable and yet she continues to make my life difficult. She wanted me gone but won't give me my belongings...maybe she's one of these mental bitches that thinks I'll come back if she doesn't find a suitable replacement.

 

My main problem is that I have no id at the moment and I'm riding the motorbike illegally as I don't have possession of my documents to get an mot.

 

I am missing my son's first words and footsteps as he is nearly one year old. I refuse to spend money through the courts to see my own son, the morality of this really grates my balls.

 

Like I say it's been over 2 months and I need my clothes, tools and personal documents.

 

Any ideas GF?

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Clem H Fandango Veteran

Clem H Fandango

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No idea about custody stuff but can't you just send someone round to get your stuff, a mutual friend?

 

What did you do to piss her off anyway, sleep with her fucking Dad?

I was great, I looked after the kids after working 12 hour shifts....cook the dinners...pay for everything whilst she would go out all the time.

It turns out that she said I wasn't supportive enough, she was on a dating site a month before we split...the slag.

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Rick Sanchez C-137 Grand Master

Rick Sanchez C-137

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I'm afraid there's not much you can do but get a solicitor. My daughters mum got increasingly jealous as she cried going home to her mum every week. She grounded her for a month (yes a 5 year old) for acting up and because I disagreed with her utterly preposterous punishment she tried to stop me seeing her. I got a solicitor who had it to court in about 3 days and got an emergency contact order for 2 days a week, for the duration of the case. I had her 3 nights a week for years, but we didn't have anything in writing. I'm going for shared residency and hopefully I'll get it as we practically had a defacto shared residency before anyway.

 

Also I exported all her mums whatapp messages where she has openly admitted that if I applied for shared residency she would stop contact all together, and that her problems were in fact to do with HER relationship with her daughter, and not to do with me. Interfering with a childs right to see a perfectly fit parent constitutes emotional abuse and isn't taken lightly.

 

We have to attempt mediation but that won't acheive anything as she's determines to 'cut my time down'. Pure jealousy, and to be honest it makes me fucking sick she can even drag it out like this. My daughters distraught, crying in the middle of the night about going home to her mum the next day. I'm going to contact a childrens councellor and have them advise me on what to do, but if her mum doesn't stop punishing her for her own bitterness then I'll be going for full custody. Breaks my fucking heart to have her used like a fucking pawn.

 

Anyway, you might miss some time with him, but this is all about the long game. My solicitor lets me pay a fixed standing order, and at the end of the day, is there anything worth more in your life? Go to a solicitor, maybe even speak to a few to get a feel for who can help you. Arrange a payment plan, and go stop her from using your son as a pawn.

 

It's stressful as fuck, but your son is young enough that he probably won't notice as much. Just remind yourself of the end goal. Seeing a solicitor was the first thing I did, and on their advice, to reign in my texts (none abusive, just questionng her motives) is the only reason I didnt have a non contact disclosure order. Or whatever you call them. Apparently they're 'too easy' to get.

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Clem H Fandango Veteran

Clem H Fandango

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A good post rotoq.

 

On top of saving up for the expected maintainable claim and saving for my son's future. I begrudge paying for a solicitors new porsche as that is money I could spend on the boy just going down the drain.

The thing is, I'm waiting for her to apply for maintanence as this gives me the right to see him. Although I suspect she won't apply for it as she wants to spite me as much a possible by not letting me see him.

Luckily my name is on the birth certificate.

I love my boy but as each day passes without him I am losing some of that feeling.

I hope he finds me one day and I can empty his head from the lies his mother will be telling him.

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Rick Sanchez C-137 Grand Master

Rick Sanchez C-137

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A good post rotoq.

 

On top of saving up for the expected maintainable claim and saving for my son's future. I begrudge paying for a solicitors new porsche as that is money I could spend on the boy just going down the drain.

The thing is, I'm waiting for her to apply for maintanence as this gives me the right to see him. Although I suspect she won't apply for it as she wants to spite me as much a possible by not letting me see him.

Luckily my name is on the birth certificate.

I love my boy but as each day passes without him I am losing some of that feeling.

I hope he finds me one day and I can empty his head from the lies his mother will be telling him.

 

"hope he finds me one day". I'm sorry but fucking go get him! You're on the birth certificate, you have parental responsibility. Pay the solicitor. A lot of them earn their money because they can stop her doing this to your son! And they need to know the laws to do so. You can't expect to call the police and have them waltz in and lift him for you. These cases are delicate for the sake of the children. To make the right decisions.

 

Hope that doesn't come across to harshly, and its a fucking nightmare, and it can be daunting, but try and think of it from the kids point of view. Sure the laws could be more even, but a LOT of them are there in the interests of the child. Use that to your advantage. It is not in the best interests of your son to have his dad taken away by a bitter, irrational resentful mother.

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Clem H Fandango Veteran

Clem H Fandango

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You've not seen your kids for months but your 'main problem' is riding your motorbike illegally?

You need proper legal advice, but you can replace shit; you can't replace your children.

Need bike to get to work to pay maintanence and shit! If you only knew how much debt she put me in.

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Stu Monty Grand Master

Stu Monty

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You've not seen your kids for months but your 'main problem' is riding your motorbike illegally?

 

You need proper legal advice, but you can replace shit; you can't replace your children.

Sorry to have to disagree with GF royalty here but she's giving you some jarg info here mate.

 

If you Google orphanages you'll find that kids are totally replaceable, there's virtually an endless supply of the little fuckers out there.

 

No need to thank me. Always keen to help.

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Trumo Grand Master

Trumo

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You've not seen your kids for months but your 'main problem' is riding your motorbike illegally?

 

You need proper legal advice, but you can replace shit; you can't replace your children.

 

If he can't use his bike, he will have to start using the bus and mingle with all the smelly uncouth folk. And if he does that for long enough, he'll become just another one of them and then definitely won't be allowed to see his son. Big picture and all that.

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Guest Pistonbroke

Guest Pistonbroke

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Things have turned out well so far, got a new bird with 40DD breasticles and loves to gag on cock. A real stunner too that also likes it up the Gary.

 

I reckon you are going to land yourself in more debt and your cock is going to drop off. 

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Fowlers God Grand Master

Fowlers God

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I love my boy but as each day passes without him I am losing some of that feeling.

I hope he finds me one day and I can empty his head from the lies his mother will be telling him.

1) really? Everyday you lose some of the feeling you have for your son? Nothing in this world, no object, person, distance or time spent apart would stop me loving one of my children any less

2) coming from a broken home myself I can assure you that nothing either parent has ever said about the other has swayed my feelings or position on either one. Their actions as parents make me make my mind up about them. My parental father I no longer talk to. Not through what my mum has ever said about him but due to his own actions.

 

Dude, give your head a wobble. You don't need the GF to tell you whether or not to fight for your son. Put all the ex relationship stuff to one side and do the only thing that matters. Get your son back in your life.

 

1 hour a week. You take it

1 day a week. You take it

Supervision visits. You take it.

 

Your actions as a father will resonate with your son forever, how ever old he is. He will know the score eventually.

 

As someone else posted earlier. It may be a long game. But is your son worth waiting for? Fuck, mine are.

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