Getting caught dicking some bird on your wedding day

[Champ]

Distinct lack of tits for me.

 

I'd be trusted in bed with her bollock naked.

I like her more by the minute

 

Edit. I thought you were referring to the bride

[Champ]

So where's the problem?

It wasn't meant to be arsey

[FanchesterCity]

The first groom to have two rings on his finger

[lifetime fan]

I like her more by the minute

 

Edit. I thought you were referring to the bride

 

I was on about both.

[Chip Butty]

Poor girl.

 

...the bride...not the singer floozy.

It's better she finds out now than further down the line. Like next week.

[FanchesterCity]

I wonder if the band played instrumentals for the rest of the evening?

[dickie mint]

He married,he cheated,he's divorced all on the same day,some going that.

[dickie mint]

I wonder if the band played instrumentals for the rest of the evening?

Yes they made an announcement the singer was fucked.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

He's in Sardinia. Cunt went on honeymoon alone.

 

This just gets better and better.

"Great weekend.  I got my nuts at a party, then went on holiday.  Only trouble is, I can't shake this feeling that there's something else I was meant to be doing."

 

Did he know the singer, or did he just meet her and bang her?

[Dr Nowt]

I wonder if the band played instrumentals for the rest of the evening?

 

She was on trombone. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

The band should have to put a little warning on all their publicity - "May contain sluts".

[Liverpool lad]

'I want this day to be unforgettable' she said, then she moaned when it was

 

Women eh

[Chris]

Man, the GF used to be actually funny and good humoured...

[dickie mint]

Apparently the groom asked the singer did she know Beyonce's "put a ring on it" and she did in the shithouse.

[Anubis]

Did they have a video guy? We need the footage of the fallout....

[RoboRiise]

Says Colin, hastily, sensing the crowd isnt finding it quite as hilarious as he'd anticipated

 

Even bearing in mind what I said earier, I can see where the humour is in it for an impartial observer, just for the sheer absurdity of the situation and the breathtaking degree of cuntery on display.  I do have a pretty fucked up sense of humour though, to the point where I even shock myself at times.

 

My first two thoughts on reading the thread though were 'what an absolute cunt' and 'jesus, what state must his missus be in', so my conscience is fairly clear on this one.

[Dr Nowt]

Man, the GF used to be actually funny and good humoured...

 

Say something funny, Chris.

[Trumo]

 

Tonight on Extreme Makeover...it's Janet Street Porter!

[JohnnyH]

Pleased to see you call him a cunt Col. As funny as it is in a daft American movie type way, he's clearly utter fucking scum to do that. I can't understand blokes (or woman) who'll sleep around on a partner they claim to love. Utter filth.

 

 

Fucking funny though.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Man, the GF used to be actually funny and good humoured...

Yeah - there was a time people used do stuff like make jokes about this sort of story and then try to get pictures of the woman involved to see if she was worth one.

 

Why don't we do that sort of stuff any more?

[Nightcat]

ewww

 

She looks like joe Allen with bleached hair

 

 

Yes they made an announcement the singer was fucked.

hahahahaha

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Pleased to see you call him a cunt Col. As funny as it is in a daft American movie type way, he's clearly utter fucking scum to do that. I can't understand blokes (or woman) who'll sleep around on a partner they claim to love. Utter filth.

 

 

Fucking funny though.

Champ's right, too, though.  It's not like the singer is completely innocent here.  Worra pair of cunts.

 

We can only hope that the bride is also an awful cunt.  Is she, Col?

[RoboRiise]

 

She looks far better there than in that picture.  Still, assuming I'd been in a relationship with someone for some time, had got to the point where I wanted to marry her and had gone through with the act, I really can't say that I'd be pissing away a hopefully happy future for a go on her.

 

If he's that much of a dick it's probably as well that his missus found out now though (although I guess earlier would have been better) because if he's that unable to control himself, it was surely only a matter of time anyway.  I mean why bother getting married if you want to shag around?  Just shag around without spending a fortune on a wedding and making a total cunt of your intended in the process.

 

In other news, if that bassist was chocolate he'd fucking eat himself.  His styling was irritating me after 30 seconds but LEDs on his frets?  Fuck right off.

 

Champ's right, too, though.  It's not like the singer is completely innocent here.  Worra pair of cunts.

 

Oh you're spot on there mate, I mean I know a lot of people get into bands to get laid, but if you're in a wedding band I think we can agree it's usually polite not to shag the groom in the bogs.

[JohnnyH]

Champ's right, too, though.  It's not like the singer is completely innocent here.  Worra pair of cunts.

 

We can only hope that the bride is also an awful cunt.  Is she, Col?

I think the fellas mates are cunts too. By association...

[Bjornebye]

Id like the amazing kappa at my wedding. Doubtful anyone is fucking Paul though.