little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Rico uses a Badger.

 

Whereas Mrs May uses a Mink. 

[ZonkoVille77]

Pistonbroke, on 18 Nov 2016 - 11:55 AM, said:

 

Good tunes ruined by pathetic lyrics. Stop writing a load of bollocks just because you want it to rhyme, write lyrics humans can relate to you fucking lazy pricks.

I don't want to see a ghost

It's a sight that I fear most

I'd rather have a piece of toast

And watch the evening news

[Trumo]

I don't want to see a ghost

It's a sight that I fear most

I'd rather have a piece of toast

And watch the evening news

 

That's a shit tune with shit lyrics, ergo not the same thing.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I don't want to see a ghost

It's a sight that I fear most

I'd rather have a piece of toast

And watch the evening news

 

If i were there or you were here

I'd gladly buy you an ice cold beer

we could chat about life and reminisce

then I'd tell you your beer was half full of piss

[cloggypop]

I've used up all my tissues 'cause there's more seriouser issues

[ZonkoVille77]

Trumo, on 18 Nov 2016 - 1:15 PM, said:

 

That's a shit tune with shit lyrics, ergo not the same thing.

This has to be a wind up?

It is one of the best tunes EVER written. The lyrics are just a notch down from shit, which of course makes it desperate.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Cunts who think that just because they're following a funeral cortege, the rules of the highway code do not apply to them. I hope the next cortege your involved in is your own. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Cunts who think that just because they're following a funeral cortege, the rules of the highway code do not apply to them. I hope the next cortege your involved in is your own. 

 

Wedding cortege's piss me off more, beeping their horns at everyone and driving how they want. Fuck off you cunts, you are not the first cunts to get married and I don't give a flying fuck about your wedding. 

[Tony Moanero]

You give it a good wiggle about in the water, and flush again if necessary.

What's the alternative?

Use your tongue.

[General Dryness]

Use your tongue.

If it's good enough for yer ma's ring it's good enough for the toilet bowl.

[Alan Sex]

If it's good enough for yer ma's ring it's good enough for the toilet bowl.

Why not just roger yourself silly with the handle end while having a furious wank?

 

With enough practice, you can graduate to the brush end.

 

Tee hee. Tickly.

[Vincent Vega]

The fact that glasses (specs for the uninitiated) get dirty for no apparent reason. Pisses me off the way I constantly have to clean them.

[General Dryness]

The fact that glasses (specs for the uninitiated) get dirty for no apparent reason. Pisses me off the way I constantly have to clean them.

This. It's insane, how much shite would flying into my eyes if the glasses weren't in the way.

 

I fully expect a jism joke here, and have some names in envelopes.

[Alan Sex]

This. It's insane, how much shite would flying into my eyes if the glasses weren't in the way.

I fully expect a jism joke here, and have some names in envelopes.

I wouldn't think of making light of your post.

 

In fact, I commend you for making the safe choice and wearing proper protective eyewear when appearing as the guest of honour at bukakke parties.

 

That shit comes out fast, you could lose an eye if you aren't careful.

[Carvalho Diablo]

You'd land a job in the Swallow Salon.

[SammyAftershave]

Chorizo juice, the stuff you get when you cook it in the oven or fry it.

 

How the fuck are you meant to clean it without throwing it into the 9th circle of Hell? It's like something out of a 1950s 'The slime from outer space' B movie.

 

I find it makes excellent seasonal lube as a special treat for your slumbering loved one.

[General Dryness]

I wouldn't think of making light of your post.

 

In fact, I commend you for making the safe choice and wearing proper protective eyewear when appearing as the guest of honour at bukakke parties.

 

That shit comes out fast, you could lose an eye if you aren't careful.

 

 

You'd land a job in the Swallow Salon.

 

[Alan Sex]

[Furmedge]

The unbalanced view of family life in advertisements. No, me and my family don't sit down for breakfast every morning with big grins on our faces while we all eat a different breakfast and I read the daily news while the sun shines brightly through the sparkling windows. In fact my wife leaves for her 10 hour shifts in the hospital at 6am and I have to shout at the kids just to get them ready for school on time, before they spill bowls of cereal on the floor and the dog wants to go and play in the garden that's boggy due to the pissing down rain and runs back in to shake all the rain water over the kitchen.

 

No, my bathroom isn't huge for all my new bathroom furniture. In fact my whole house is smaller than the bathrooms they advertise where you see people sat grinning in a bath that has the equivalent space of a tennis court to walk through to get there. In reality I seldom smile in my bathroom unless it's to marvel at a quaint fart that tickles my sphincter.

 

Fuck off with your perfect world scenarios.

[Rico1304]

The unbalanced view of family life in advertisements. No, me and my family don't sit down for breakfast every morning with big grins on our faces while we all eat a different breakfast and I read the daily news while the sun shines brightly through the sparkling windows. In fact my wife leaves for her 10 hour shifts in the hospital at 6am and I have to shout at the kids just to get them ready for school on time, before they spill bowls of cereal on the floor and the dog wants to go and play in the garden that's boggy due to the pissing down rain and runs back in to shake all the rain water over the kitchen.

 

No, my bathroom isn't huge for all my new bathroom furniture. In fact my whole house is smaller than the bathrooms they advertise where you see people sat grinning in a bath that has the equivalent space of a tennis court to walk through to get there. In reality I seldom smile in my bathroom unless it's to marvel at a quaint fart that tickles my sphincter.

 

Fuck off with your perfect world scenarios.

Correct. There's an Ovo advert at the moment for prepayment meters and the bloke is dancing around a fucking mansion.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

They all seem to have a fucking dining table that seats about 20 people an all. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

Correct. There's an Ovo advert at the moment for prepayment meters and the bloke is dancing around a fucking mansion.

I think that Ovo advert is aimed at prince harry.

[Remmie]

It really winds me up when people repeatedly watch, summarise and moan about adverts. Let live pause or mute be your friend

[Rico1304]

On the iPhone 6 when you unlock it with your fingerprint it tells you it's unlocked, but then says press home to get any further. Why? Just show me the fucking menu.

[Kevin D]

Statistics being given on small sample sizes.

 

"The first time since August..."

 

"The first election since 2004 that..."

 

" Only the second Liechtensteinian to climb Everest "

 

These are not long enough timelines, or common enough occurrences, to draw conclusions from yet inane pundits always do this to fill up airtime, or column inches.