Women and nagging...

[lifetime fan]

I neither bleed, nor nag.

 

I am more than capable of doing anything my chap can do and as such, I ask once and if its not done in a timely manor, I commence with the task myself, thus guilting Mr Aveez to get off his tush and pull his weight.

 

Should he decide not to help or acknowledge that I have already done somthing he promised to do, we will, at some point, have the following conversation or similar -

 

Mr Aveez - remember you're driving, tonight. I'm going to get pissed as a newt

 

Me - sorry Love I cant, I've already had 9 glasses of wine

 

Mr Aveez - but you said you would last week

 

Me - indeed but then I had to put those shelves up, fix the fence, empty the bins etc etc and have therefore earned a night off!!

 

Mr Aveez - ahh yes valid point, I'll book a taxi

 

Nothing wrong with that.

[Lurtz]

There are three certainties in this life: Death, taxes and that any time there's a GF thread about women Melons will appear and start talking about menstrual cycles.

[Johnny Cougar]

Women are like Alsatians. You need to terrorise the fuckers when you first get them, especially if they are still young enough to learn and then they give you much less aggro at a later date. Or they just fuck off to someone else they can practice wailing like a Banshee at and who is soft enough to let them. Either way, it's a win.

[AVEEZ]

Nothing wrong with that.

 

I see what you did there Mr Fan and it amused me. However, Mr Aveez knows me well and he also knows that should he not take his punishment for being a lazy oik like a man, then 2 things would happen.

 

I would stop buying his families birthday / christmas cards and presents and as a direct consquence of this he would lose his favourite uncle / son status and his mum would nag him constantly to remember them in future!

 

I'm sure I dont have to tell you, that a nagging mum is far worse than a nagging bird!

[lifetime fan]

I see what you did there Mr Fan and it amused me. However, Mr Aveez knows me well and he also knows that should he not take his punishment for being a lazy oik like a man, then 2 things would happen.

 

[1] I would stop buying his families birthday / christmas cards and presents and as a direct consquence of this he would lose his favourite uncle / son status and his mum would nag him constantly to remember them in future!

 

I'm sure I dont have to tell you, [2] that a nagging mum is far worse than a nagging bird!

 

 

[1] You evil bitch.

 

[2] A nagging bird is far worse than a nagging Mum, I can avoid me Mam, have to work so I can't make that family do etc. I have to go home and can't not hear the nagging at home.

[md1892]

Have you never nagged then? I find that hard to believe seeing as you're a woman. If I rang my bird right now and asked her if she's ever moaned at me, she would say no and then go ape shit.

 

It's in your genes.

 

'In a minute' is a figure of speech, it doesn't mean I will do something in 60 seconds time.

 

I will do it, soon in fact, but only if you don't stand there watching the fucking clock so you can start nagging again in 60 seconds.

 

Men are the Peacocks not the women, we spend our lives giving a diluted version of ourselves to attract a mate, women see this superficial faced as truth, they fail to see our foibles (We all vary, but we have frailties) and they assume this Alpha Male who we've tried our hardest to construct and maintain will get the female the nicest cave in the kingdom, when they realise, that actually, we're lazy fuckers who put the cave maintenance to the back of our mind while we preoccupy ourselves with distractions, we have a mate now, we don't need to tend to our plume anymore. Thus the cave must be maintained by the female, whist she also tends to the brood, that includes us, she develops a feeling that she has been deceived and that life has cheated her, it's not it's just that a natural order has been aligned and she has no real counter to this and thus she vents her vitriol and resentment at her lot in the only way she can, by nagging, in the hope that the Alpha Male fiction we created in order to snare her will reappear, it never will because it never really existed in the first place. If only she could let it go.

 

 

Repped, all of you, including Bruce 'Freud' Spanner.

 

 

Nagging in our household exists but only as an avenue to a blowjob.

 

Her: Put the shelves up

Me: Suck me off

Her: Ok

 

Ten mins later i'm putting shelves up.

 

Everyones happy.

 

 

 

Edit: sorry Bruce given you too much love recently !! I owe you one

[jonnybastard]

I neither bleed, nor nag.

 

I am more than capable of doing anything my chap can do and as such, I ask once and if its not done in a timely manor, I commence with the task myself, thus guilting Mr Aveez to get off his tush and pull his weight.

 

Should he decide not to help or acknowledge that I have already done somthing he promised to do, we will, at some point, have the following conversation or similar -

 

Mr Aveez - remember you're driving, tonight. I'm going to get pissed as a newt

 

Me - sorry Love I cant, I've already had 9 glasses of wine

 

Mr Aveez - but you said you would last week

 

Me - indeed but then I had to put those shelves up, fix the fence, empty the bins etc etc and have therefore earned a night off!!

 

Mr Aveez - ahh yes valid point, I'll drive!

 

He lets you drive?!? A car?? Jesus, you must have some cracking tits to be treated so well. I'm sure women can drive, but if you ever say "left" or "right" to a woman, they will raise both hands slightly and do an imaginary scribble before deciding which is which.

[melons]

 

I don't think I'll ever trust a woman again.

 

You won't, and your ex won't ever trust men, you just learn to get on with it.

 

 

'In a minute' is a figure of speech, it doesn't mean I will do something in 60 seconds time.

 

 

Kids use the same language concept, do men ever grow up?

 

 

Men are the Peacocks not the women, we spend our lives giving a diluted version of ourselves to attract a mate, women see this superficial faced as truth, they fail to see our foibles (We all vary, but we have frailties) and they assume this Alpha Male who we've tried our hardest to construct and maintain will get the female the nicest cave in the kingdom, when they realise, that actually, we're lazy fuckers who put the cave maintenance to the back of our mind while we preoccupy ourselves with distractions, we have a mate now, we don't need to tend to our plume anymore. Thus the cave must be maintained by the female, whist she also tends to the brood, that includes us, she develops a feeling that she has been deceived and that life has cheated her, it's not it's just that a natural order has been aligned and she has no real counter to this and thus she vents her vitriol and resentment at her lot in the only way she can, by nagging, in the hope that the Alpha Male fiction we created in order to snare her will reappear, it never will because it never really existed in the first place. If only she could let it go.

 

I really, and i mean REALLY fucked up there!

 

 

I neither bleed, nor nag.

 

I am more than capable of doing anything my chap can do and as such, I ask once and if its not done in a timely manor, I commence with the task myself, thus guilting Mr Aveez to get off his tush and pull his weight.

 

Should he decide not to help or acknowledge that I have already done somthing he promised to do, we will, at some point, have the following conversation or similar -

 

Mr Aveez - remember you're driving, tonight. I'm going to get pissed as a newt

 

Me - sorry Love I cant, I've already had 9 glasses of wine

 

Mr Aveez - but you said you would last week

 

Me - indeed but then I had to put those shelves up, fix the fence, empty the bins etc etc and have therefore earned a night off!!

 

Mr Aveez - ahh yes valid point, I'll drive!

 

I've met you, i do believe Mr Aveez values his testicles, i wouldn't cross you either!

 

 

Women are like Alsatians. You need to terrorise the fuckers when you first get them, especially if they are still young enough to learn and then they give you much less aggro at a later date. Or they just fuck off to someone else they can practice wailing like a Banshee at and who is soft enough to let them. Either way, it's a win.

 

How long for? Any why the fuck do men and women play this initial game in the first place? It's more irritating than a dose of thrush.

 

 

 

Nagging in our household exists but only as an avenue to a blowjob.

 

Her: Put the shelves up

Me: Suck me off

Her: Ok

 

Ten mins later i'm putting shelves up.

 

Everyones happy.

 

 

Works for me, I just need to sort out that willing participant.

[Magic Sponge]

 

Repped, all of you, including Bruce 'Freud' Spanner.

 

Nagging in our household exists but only as an avenue to a blowjob.

 

Her: Put the shelves up

Me: Suck me off

Her: Ok

 

Ten mins later i'm putting shelves up.

 

Everyones happy.

 

Edit: sorry Bruce given you too much love recently !! I owe you one

 

I need to buy some shelves.

[lifetime fan]

Kids use the same language concept, do men ever grow up?

 

 

Do women ever fucking learn?

 

If you've been told this since we were kids then you'd think after 30 odd fucking years you'd realise 'in a minute' doesn't mean in 60 seconds.

 

Hitler got it wrong, save the jews and gypsies, gas the fucking women with small tits. Not a single redeeming feature about them.

[Champ]

gas the fucking women with small tits. Not a single redeeming feature about them.

 

That's you off my Christmas card list then

[lifetime fan]

That's you off my Christmas card list then

 

HAHAHA

[Unrighteous]

Repped, all of you, including Bruce 'Freud' Spanner.

 

 

Nagging in our household exists but only as an avenue to a blowjob.

 

Her: Put the shelves up

Me: Suck me off

Her: Ok

 

Ten mins later i'm putting shelves up.

 

Everyones happy.

 

 

 

Edit: sorry Bruce given you too much love recently !! I owe you one

 

Sheer genius.

[Philbert]

What about the female's propensity for leading the male into a situation which she knows will provide an opportunity to nag? This can be achieved 'actively' or 'passively'.

 

'Passive' Example - Wife can see that you're pre-occupied and are likely to forget to do something (e.g. put the bins out); rather than remind you that you need to do it, she'll just do nothing; watch and wait until you 'fail' and then 'bam'! wade in with the size 10's and all guns fuckin' blazing! This will be accompanied by a performance that Joan Of Arc would be proud of as she puts the bins out herself.

 

When the unfortunate man protests and says 'Why didn't you remind me?'; we get the classic response 'You shouldn't need reminding'

 

Why do women do that? It's an absolutely mystifying and irritating trait.

[Einch]

I don't get nagged at. She has learned that she needs to be specific in when and what she wants done for it to happen and just because she thinks it needs to happen at a certain time is not gospel or some kind of fucking higher truth. I do get foot tapping and venom filled looks as she builds up a head of steam but she knows that it just does not work so why bother? What gets me is the questions about food/drink - "do you want..." - off she goes in a huff after 3 seconds because I don't have an answer. Fuck off with that too love! I just turn the tables and ask a string of questions back and then look at my watch and count out 5 seconds and piss off back to what I was doing.

[lifetime fan]

Me: I got paid quite a bit of overtime this month babe, you fancy going out for a nice meal this evening?

 

Her: No, I'm tired, I can't be bothered getting ready to go out.

 

Me: You wanna order a take away then?

 

Her: No, you know I'm trying to be good, why would you even say that?!

 

Me: What you wanna do then?

 

Her: I don't know, you chose!

 

Me: Ok, I'll get a few beers and watch porn.

 

Her: You're not fucking funny Colin.

[jonnybastard]

Research has shown that not only does a womans menstrual cycle affect her mood, but also dictates the type of man she is attracted to. In the early stages, when most likely to conceive, she is attracted to strong, rugged outdoor types- obviously wanting the best genes for her baby. Once the fertile period is over, she prefers a man WITH A PAIR OF FUCKING SCISSORS IN HIS EYE, THE UNFEELING SELFISH BASTARD!

[Paulie Dangerously]

Research has shown that not only does a womans menstrual cycle affect her mood, but also dictates the type of man she is attracted to. In the early stages, when most likely to conceive, she is attracted to strong, rugged outdoor types- obviously wanting the best genes for her baby. Once the fertile period is over, she prefers a man WITH A PAIR OF FUCKING SCISSORS IN HIS EYE, THE UNFEELING SELFISH BASTARD!

 

Jesus. Was that a joke off Miranda? Fucking sucked

[jonnybastard]

Jesus. Was that a joke off Miranda? Fucking sucked

 

Thanks for the feedback Tarby.

[Trumo]

Her: You're not fucking funny Colin.

 

She don't know shit.

[Magic Sponge]

 

Jesus. Was that a joke off Miranda? Fucking sucked

 

Now that is funny.

[Stu Monty]

I tend not to get nagged too much due to her knowing that I don't want to be nagged. I reckon she's worked out that if she acts like a cunt I won't want to waste my fleeting moments on this tiny little rock with her; and hastily fuck her off. It's a mutual thing.

 

If your partner is acting like a cunt, it's because they are, unfortunately, a bit of a cunt. So from there it's just about how much cuntiness you're willing to put up with before you go hunting for someone less cunty.

[md1892]

I need to buy some shelves.

 

Sheer genius.

 

The benefit of laying the ground rules early.

 

I don't need food, I'm powered by oral sex and my own sense of self satisfaction.

 

[Guest LFD]

I always thought Stu was gay!

[JER]

We had a lovely retriever (sadly passed) - I loved that dog. What I didn't love was the 15 moans a day - a fucking day - about dog hairs, mud and other small blemishes to our home. We have 4 kids that have at various times weed, vomited and defecated on every available surface in the house - and never a cross word said. A dog never judges you, or nags. A few times I was asked whether I wanted to move out and live with the dog if he was so great. A few times I was tempted.

 

God, I loved that dog.