The world of a woman.

[Karl_b]

Another week, another item "tidied away". We're going to see Bill Bailey on Thursday; I've had the tickets on the sideboard for the last 2 weeks since they arrived. When to double check the times this morning and they're nowhere to be seen. I asked the wife and despite remembering them being there she has no idea where she's out them. 

 

Outstanding. She conflates tidiness with shoving stuff in to the nearest cupboard or drawer.

[suzy]

On 05/05/2019 at 21:27, Doctor Troy said:

Woman logic example 654197228:

 

She just bought a load of stuff in town and has come home. Tried it on, it either doesn't fit or she doesn't like the look of it. I asked why she didn't try any of this stuff on in the shop. She said she didn't have time.

 

However, she still has the time to travel back into town, take it back to the shop, explain to the cashier why she is bringing the stuff back and wait for the money to be refunded.

 

This is all far less hassle than taking 10 minutes to try the stuff on before buying it. 

I would never do that, I hate returning things so always try them on in the shop.

If there’s no fitting room, I don’t buy it!

[lifetime fan]

When the new bird went home for a month she started to turn into a needy, demanding, fucking drama queen. 

 

She issued me me an ultimatum so I told her to call it quits then. 

 

Now I'm the biggest cunt in the world for dumping her and ruining her holiday. She only see’s family every few years, this trip is fucking ruined and it’s all my fault. 

 

Fucking women. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

When the new bird went home for a month she started to turn into a needy, demanding, fucking drama queen. 

 

She issued me me an ultimatum so I told her to call it quits then. 

 

Now I'm the biggest cunt in the world for dumping her and ruining her holiday. She only see’s family every few years, this trip is fucking ruined and it’s all my fault. 

 

Fucking women. 

Ultimatums. Do they ever think them through?

 

"DO YOU WANT ME TO BOSS YOU AROUND AND FUCKING SCREAM AT YOU OR DO YOU WANT ME TO GO AWAY AND LEAVE YOU ALONE? EHH?"

[cloggypop]

A lucky escape there LF

[lifetime fan]

She was fucking stunning too! 

[lifetime fan]

7 minutes ago, rotoq said:

Ultimatums. Do they ever think them through?

 

"DO YOU WANT ME TO BOSS YOU AROUND AND FUCKING SCREAM AT YOU OR DO YOU WANT ME TO GO AWAY AND LEAVE YOU ALONE? EHH?"

 

Especially with a species as stubborn as men. 

[Harry Squatter]

My mate used to play 5 a side 3 times a week and Saturday and Sunday league footy.

 

His Mrs got fed up of him never wanting to do anything between September and the end of March incase he missed any games. 

 

One night he came home and she said "it's football or me, fucking sick of it running my life". Then threw his boots out the front door. 

 

He just sat down, put sky sports on and went "see ya then"

 

He said she just malfunctioned and stood there for an hour repeating the same thing to him until she realised the threats weren't working.

[lifetime fan]

Who said women can’t have a sense of humour...

 

My ol fella is scared shitless of flying. He’ll have 2 Valium and 10 pints of Guinness before stepping foot on a plane. 

 

For his birthday his missus took him on holiday to Cyprus and bought him a hot air ballon ride. 

 

And told him next year she’s buying him a flight in a microlight plane! 

[Curly]

On 07/05/2019 at 08:03, Karl_b said:

Another week, another item "tidied away". We're going to see Bill Bailey on Thursday; I've had the tickets on the sideboard for the last 2 weeks since they arrived. When to double check the times this morning and they're nowhere to be seen. I asked the wife and despite remembering them being there she has no idea where she's out them. 

 

Outstanding. She conflates tidiness with shoving stuff in to the nearest cupboard or drawer.

Very familiar this mate. Mine then gets defensive if I dare to ask her where she might have put them. Loon. 

[Oh Buoy]

1 hour ago, belarus said:

Very familiar this mate. Mine then gets defensive if I dare to ask her where she might have put them. Loon. 

 

I thought this was the natural blueprint?

 

- Complain about 'mess'

- Put 'mess' in random place that has no connection or purpose for tickets

- Denies they moved them at all

- Blames you for losing the tickets

- Despite finding the tickets in a random drawer, denies putting them there

- Blames you for leaving them out in the first place.

 

Stressful experience on constant loop.

[Curly]

42 minutes ago, Seasons said:

 

I thought this was the natural blueprint?

 

- Complain about 'mess'

- Put 'mess' in random place that has no connection or purpose for tickets

- Denies they moved them at all

- Blames you for losing the tickets

- Despite finding the tickets in a random drawer, denies putting them there

- Blames you for leaving them out in the first place.

 

Stressful experience on constant loop.

Note perfect rendition mate

[Mook]

I moaned at our 3 year old for running at me while I was changing a CD today & my missus goes, "If you're so worried about your CD player why don't you sell it & buy a cheap one until they get older?".

 

I've put her & the bairns up on Gumtree.

[Chip Butty]

Apparently, we are watching The Hunt for Jodie........ no, sorry, Jedi John, on Channel 4. 

[Elite]

On 18/05/2019 at 21:08, Mook said:

I moaned at our 3 year old for running at me while I was changing a CD today & my missus goes, "If you're so worried about your CD player why don't you sell it & buy a cheap one until they get older?".

 

I've put her & the bairns up on Gumtree.

Hope she's learned her lesson for the next time you change the VHS.

[Davelfc]

When your good ladies ask you “would you get yourself another woman if I died?” And believe me they do ask. your answer should immediately be

 

”well I don’t want to be sitting there alone at the funeral do i?”

 

 

you’re welcome. 

 

 

[Dr Nowt]

2 hours ago, Chip Butty said:

Apparently, we are watching The Hunt for Jodie........ no, sorry, Jedi John, on Channel 4. 

I heard they found Jedi John in Mos ISISley.

[Pureblood]

Not the drone strike you're looking for.

[Section_31]

The Mrs always asks me what's going on in films even when I suspect she already knows.

[lifetime fan]

20 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

The Mrs always asks me what's going on in films even when I suspect she already knows.

 

Its when they ask you what’s going to happen despite knowing you’ve never seen the fucking film that gets me. 

[Section_31]

1 minute ago, lifetime fan said:

 

Its when they ask you what’s going to happen despite knowing you’ve never seen the fucking film that gets me. 

Or to explain their motivations.

 

"Why did he do that?"

 

"He's Darth Vader isn't he? He can do whatever the fuck he wants."

[Harry Squatter]

[Mook]

21 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Or to explain their motivations.

 

"Why did he do that?"

 

"He's Darth Vader isn't he? He can do whatever the fuck he wants."

I've got a standard response for those...

 

"Because it's in the fucking storyline."

[Harry Squatter]

A woman in my work has no kids but always takes half term off. When I asked why she does this she told me that in her last job she was told that she didn't take priority when having time off during half term and summer holidays because she has no kids. 

 

However, there are no restrictions in our place regarding this.

 

For some reason she's kept this up to be awkward and piss off anyone with kids. Also she was moaning the other week about how expensive flights to Portugal were because of half term. She has also moaned about the amount of kids in Costa Coffee when she goes there when she is off. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

4 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

A woman in my work has no kids but always takes half term off. When I asked why she does this she told me that in her last job she was told that she didn't take priority when having time off during half term and summer holidays because she has no kids. 

 

However, there are no restrictions in our place regarding this.

 

For some reason she's kept this up to be awkward and piss off anyone with kids. Also she was moaning the other week about how expensive flights to Portugal were because of half term. She has also moaned about the amount of kids in Costa Coffee when she goes there when she is off. 

Classic