January Transfer Window 2016

[Tony Moanero]

Just phoned the Liverpool ClubCall, they reckon were signing Paul Pogba and Tony Cascarino. My wife's off out in a bit, so I'm gonna phone one of those saucy wank lines.

[Lee909]

I'll take big Tony but Pogba can fuck off

[Tony Moanero]

I was dead excited when I heard them say "Tony", I thought it was going to be Tony Daley.

[El Dangerous]

Just phoned the Liverpool ClubCall, they reckon were signing Paul Pogba and Tony Cascarino. My wife's off out in a bit, so I'm gonna phone one of those saucy wank lines.

Not sure they'll be that interested in Liverpool transfer news to be honest Tony.

[Tony Moanero]

Not sure they'll be that interested in Liverpool transfer news to be honest Tony.

I don't know, I bet they could do a better job than the transfer commitee.

[ngogswilly]

Here's a novel idea: sign South American stars before they're tied down to massive contracts with intransigent Russian gangsters.

 

Just a thought...

Piss off with that logic!!!

[thompsonsnose]

Goalie, Striker, Midfield Cunt.

Instant improvement.

[Dr Nowt]

My wife's off out in a bit, so I'm gonna phone one of those saucy wank lines.

Everton ClubCall?

[bonesman]

Suarez [not our one] ]to watford. Think weve were linked to him this window.

[Sputnik1]

Everton ClubCall?

 

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.... oh he failed the medical. 

[Tony Moanero]

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.... oh he failed the medical.

Hahaha

[Dr Nowt]

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.... oh he failed the medical.

Phone sex worker: Is it hard yet, Billy Blue Shite?

BBS: Hard, it's fucking impossible. They've got more money than us and sold their soul to the devil for an infinite supply of spawn.

PSW: Er, ok. Are you ready to put it in?

BBS: In? It was fucking OUT. Typical cheating from an ex-Redshite. Atkinson only allowed it because he's part of Operation Keep Everton Away From Wembley, which is being run by the murderers because they're terrified of facing us.

PSW: Sure. Listen, do you just want me to bring you off?

BBS: Bring ME off? What are you fucking bringing me off for? It's those dirty Redshite cunts who should be off. SENT off. When they're not going in two-footed they're diving all over the place.

PSW: * Hangs up *

BBS: Oh yeah, that's right. Refuse to give The People's Club a fair hearing; bet you'd listen to what the Redshite have to say all night. I'm telling you now, Kuyt should have gone, he'd never even have been on the pitch to take that second pen. Etc etc etc.

[Russ Atmosphere]

Brilliant.

[Harry Squatter]

Where's the sexline premium rate money Bill??

[ngogswilly]

Phone sex worker: Is it hard yet, Billy Blue Shite?

BBS: Hard, it's fucking impossible. They've got more money than us and sold their soul to the devil for an infinite supply of spawn.

PSW: Er, ok. Are you ready to put it in?

BBS: In? It was fucking OUT. Typical cheating from an ex-Redshite. Atkinson only allowed it because he's part of Operation Keep Everton Away From Wembley, which is being run by the murderers because they're terrified of facing us.

PSW: Sure. Listen, do you just want me to bring you off?

BBS: Bring ME off? What are you fucking bringing me off for? It's those dirty Redshite cunts who should be off. SENT off. When they're not going in two-footed they're diving all over the place.

PSW: * Hangs up *

BBS: Oh yeah, that's right. Refuse to give The People's Club a fair hearing; bet you'd listen to what the Redshite have to say all night. I'm telling you now, Kuyt should have gone, he'd never even have been on the pitch to take that second pen. Etc etc etc.

Literally in tears laughing at that. Out of rep. Someone else please rep this on my behalf. Much obliged!

[Tony Moanero]

Negged because I'm also out of rep.

[ngogswilly]

Negged because I'm also out of rep.

Tony I can't help but love you. Neg away brother. Neg away.

[3 Stacks]

Linked again to Denis Cheryshev by Cadena COPE.

[Denny Crane]

Welcome to Our summer signing Craig Klein.

 

Fulham’s loan signing of the Austrian centre-back Michael Madl from Sturm Graz might, subject to medical, make just a ripple in the last few days of the January transfer window but for his putative new club this is a deal that has a much greater significance. At 5ft 11ins, Madl, 27, is small for a player in his position in the Championship but he has a powerful advocate at Fulham. Madl’s performances have scored highly in an analytical model devised by an influential figure at the club, the director of statistical recruitment, Craig Kline, an American analyst brought in by Tony Khan, the son of the club’s billionaire American owner Shahid Khan. It has been a dismal three seasons for Fulham, now in their second year in the Championship where they are 19th, four points outside the relegation zone, and out the FA Cup.

 

They have reorganised their hierarchy more recently with chief executive Alastair Mackintosh in charge of the club’s commercial business; Mike Rigg appointed the chief football officer, and Slavisa Jokanovic, the manager since Kit Symons’ sacking in November. Jokanovic has taken over at Fulham following Symons' sacking Kline, however, is a bold project. In modern football, the dream of data analytics solving the games many imponderables is a seductive notion, especially for wealthy owners who want to use their success in more orthodox businesses to straighten out the unpredictability of such a fickle game. Data analytics teams are used at all leading clubs and they can provide a useful part of the picture in many areas, including player recruitment. In an era in which every players’ distance run in training and games can be measured and timed; when data companies can provide detailed statistics and clips for players all over the world, there is a mass of information to be processed. The issue has been integrating it usefully into the more traditional disciplines of methodical, strategic scouting which requires that invaluable element of judgement borne of experience. That clash of cultures exists at Fulham where Kline is not shy to tell colleagues at the club’s Motspur Park training ground that he has the answers. He has devised his own statistical model in which all potential signings are assigned a “target rating” purely on the basis of the data provided by Opta to the club on around 30 different leagues. Kline has been unwilling to share the formula behind his rating, although his model does not involve watching games himself. He is a numbers man.

 

Kline has no prior experience in football before he became involved in Fulham around the time Shahid Khan bought the club in July 2013. He was a law graduate who met Tony Khan at university. Tony is senior vice-president of football technology and analytics at his father’s NFL franchise Jacksonville Jaguars and a devotee of data analysis. Kline worked for the Jaguars and was then transferred to west London. Shahid Khan bought Fulham in July 2013 Another key issue is that Kline has what one source described as a “challenging personality”. He believes completely in his analytics model and sees no reason why the club do not follow it. He has been known to claim in conversations around the training ground he has the “ownership mandate”.

 

There has been no mention of Kline on the Fulham website. Earlier this year he was ordered off the premises after what was described by one source as a “ruck” with chief operating officer Darren Preston, an argument which was believed to be over an office rather than a football matter. After a few days away from Motspur Park, it is understood the two shook hands on their differences. Symons, sacked with the team 12th, did not see eye-to-eye with Kline. In a statement to Telegraph Sport, Fulham spokeswoman Sarah Brookes, on behalf of Shahid Khan, said that Kline “does not have power of veto over anything and the scouts do not report to Craig”. Brookes said: “Slavisa determines positions/potential players that he is interested in and they, with additional suggestions (if applicable) are presented to him with input reflecting stats, financial and scouting, then Slavisa no one else has the decision from that point on.” Who proposed Madl’s loan signing is not clear – the club are currently restricted by a Football League transfer embargo for breaching financial fair play, and are only permitted to make free agent signings or loans on £10,000-a-week or less. Just as pressing for Fulham is keeping their leading strikers Ross McCormack and Moussa Dembele. Fulham are desperate to keep hold of Dembele

 

The signing of the Finland midfielder Sakari Mattila in August was another acquisition that was prompted by Kline’s statistical analysis. Mattila scored highly on Kline’s model but has started two games under Symons and Jokanovic, with a further six substitute appearances. There are conflicting views on why Fulham did not re-sign midfielder Steve Sidwell, a former player, on loan this month. Sidwell ended up at Brighton although sources have told Telegraph Sport that a deal to take him to Fulham had been agreed but was subsequently abandoned when the 33-year-old did not score highly enough on Kline’s statistical model. Fulham also say they are “completely open-minded” regarding new signings and while Mattila has “impeccable stats and was a great deal” they add “we have a lot of players who are not stats-rooted”. They say that the “overwhelming majority of players” in their squad were those whom Symons selected according to the same criteria that Jokanovic now works. Kline was not available for comment. Fulham’s 13 years in the Premier League was largely thanks to the financing of Mohamed Fayed but also some canny signings and managerial appointments. Previous owner Mohamed Fayed was Fulham's financial backer during their Premier League years There was the acquisition of top players for relatively low prices – the likes of Louis Saha, Edwin Van der Sar, Mousa Dembele and Chris Smalling. Roy Hodgson overachieved but the club finally succumbed to relegation two years ago, with a series of bad managerial appointments. Fulham are Shahid Khan’s club and his to run successfully however he sees fit. No doubt he would like them to thrive in the Premier League with the style and originality that the likes of Leicester City, Southampton and Swansea have managed at different times. All of those clubs use data too, but none bet the house on it.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/fulham/12131412/Forget-Moneyball-Fulham-are-taking-Football-Manager-approach-in-hope-of-returning-to-big-time.html

[Denny Crane]

I'm more open to stats than most on here. But without backing this up with indepth scouting reports and taking into account their ability to play in a different team and their mentality it seems like shooting yourself in the foot. 

 

Aston Villa, Sunderland, Fulham, Liverpool, Manchester United all American owned. All seem to be making or made many strange choices, recruitment and other decisions. You would think Everton might not be so keen to be owned by Americans. 

 

 

[Barrington Womble]

Home Office says no deal.

Not any more. In fact Teixeira is no closer to qualifying under the old rules now than when he left Brazil about 6 years ago. Providing we're not bringing players in on 10p a week, we can justify signing people from outside the eu using the same rules as we would to get Teixeira if we were actually interested in signing him.

[Russ Atmosphere]

Not any more. In fact Teixeira is no closer to qualifying under the old rules now than when he left Brazil about 6 years ago. Providing we're not bringing players in on 10p a week, we can justify signing people from outside the eu using the same rules as we would to get Teixeira if we were actually interested in signing him.

Great news. Our crack committee will be all over South American countries versions of Match of the Day.

[Ne Moe Imya]

Real fans don't give a shit about losing or winning.

 

Real fans only care about accounts, the owners' profits, wages and the maintenance of the self-imposed austerity in the times of the +£100m per season TV rights.

 

Real fans are smart enough to realise that profits, wages, and fees have a huge impact on how much we win and lose in the long-term, you nitwit.

[3 Stacks]

Newcastle make a 21 million pound bid for Saido Berahino according to Sky Sports.

 

Big Mike getting out the checkbook. That would be 45 million pounds spent this transfer window.

[JermainePennant]

Can you shut up and go away now please.

Can you stop commenting on my comments making smart remarks, I seem to remember you supporting the manager up until near the end of the season.If the bad end to the season or the start of this was enough to convince you he should go then I don't think much of your opinion either but I'm not saying that everytime you post something.

 

As for what I said it makes your reply even more ridiculous, if anyone disagrees please tell me why I'm wrong for thinking the league was not there to be won easily, I don't remember a club winning every game the second half of the season and then people saying it was easy because of other teams form.