little things that annoy the shit out of you

[stringvest]

No.  I do.  If they've addressed me by my surname, I will do it.  

[Remmie]

I am currently in the process of sponsoring my wife's visa application to the UK. Sometimes when I tell people about it they are outraged that it is so difficult for her yet "there are all these illegals coming in on the back of lorries" thinking this opinion will truly empathise with what we are going through. Actually I am boiling inside at the Ukip parroting fucking bellends who are only facilitating the Draconian Visa application process with their dribble chinned cunty opinions. If they didn't know me, they wouldn't want her here and they don't get the double standards.

[Mook]

When the phone rings, go to the pub instead of answering it.

 

Works for me.

[Tom araya]

Cunts remmie,absolute cunts.

[jfk]

Beards. Facial fungus. Was in a meeting today and before I lost the will to live I noticed I was the only blokwithout facial hair. fucking meffs. 5 blokes: statistician has proper beard (not hipster), older guy has scraggly beard, younger guy has the 'cba shaving for 3 weeks look', other older guy has goatee. I was like wtf? You scruffy cunts, get a shave.

[Stu Monty]

Beards. Facial fungus. Was in a meeting today and before I lost the will to live I noticed I was the only blokwithout facial hair. fucking meffs. 5 blokes: statistician has proper beard (not hipster), older guy has scraggly beard, younger guy has the 'cba shaving for 3 weeks look', other older guy has goatee. I was like wtf? You scruffy cunts, get a shave.

 

Beard is the default setting of man you metrosexual fuck.

 

No clean shaven man has ever climbed Everest or killed a bear. That's just a fact.

[Section_31]

Beards. Facial fungus. Was in a meeting today and before I lost the will to live I noticed I was the only blokwithout facial hair. fucking meffs. 5 blokes: statistician has proper beard (not hipster), older guy has scraggly beard, younger guy has the 'cba shaving for 3 weeks look', other older guy has goatee. I was like wtf? You scruffy cunts, get a shave.

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Beards. Facial fungus. Was in a meeting today and before I lost the will to live I noticed I was the only blokwithout facial hair. fucking meffs. 5 blokes: statistician has proper beard (not hipster), older guy has scraggly beard, younger guy has the 'cba shaving for 3 weeks look', other older guy has goatee. I was like wtf? You scruffy cunts, get a shave.

 

[Bjornebye]

Beards. Facial fungus. Was in a meeting today and before I lost the will to live I noticed I was the only blokwithout facial hair. fucking meffs. 5 blokes: statistician has proper beard (not hipster), older guy has scraggly beard, younger guy has the 'cba shaving for 3 weeks look', other older guy has goatee. I was like wtf? You scruffy cunts, get a shave.

 

[jfk]

:)

[RedKnight]

There are too many hipster beards around these days though. Not a symbol of manliness but a symbol of getting your latest look out of the Next catalogue. When these knobheads have done with their beards, the original beard-men will still carry the flag.

[Carvalho Diablo]

:)

 

[Hooch]

For me, I genuinely just can't be arsed shaving half the time, so the fact that they're actually seen as fashionable has been a nice little bonus for about 2 years now and counting.

[Dr Nowt]

:)

 

Get a beard on that fucker before you catch your death of neg.

[Bjornebye]

:)

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Jeremy Clarkson's manky, rotten, discoloured teeth.

 

Just fucking brush them you fucking tory cunt.

[bouncebrigade]

Dublin traffic is an ugly beast.

[bouncebrigade]

I've nothing against rugby, per se.  However, I am convinced that a high proportion of people who talk about it and go to the matches are spoofers, just doing it for a social standing or work related reasons.  I've heard a fella at work here on the phone talking about it and, seriously, a monkey could have given more insight into the upcoming Six Nations matches than he just did.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Terry pratchett dying when there's a world full of arseholes.

[Section_31]

Terry pratchett dying when there's a world full of arseholes.

 

Amen, terrible shame. 

 

Apparently his daughter will now assume his mantle, she wrote the last Tomb Raider game apparently, sounds pretty talented. 

[Faustus]

Radio DJs who talk over records. I know the reason for it back in the day was to fuck people over who were copying songs onto cassette, but surely nobody is doing that these days with a little thing called 'the internet' doing the rounds? Surely there's no need to do it now?

 

Chris Evans is an absolute wanker for this. Easy Money by Johnny Marr gets played this morning and I'm really enjoying it when that tit starts prattling on about creme eggs and Neighbours (the soap) over the song with literally half of it still to go. There was another verse, a musical break and two choruses left of the fucking tune!

 

An absolute beast of a song unexpectedly coming on the radio while you're working or commuting is up there with the greatest of small pleasures. Any need for some dickhead DJ full of their own self-importance to ruin this?

[Harry Squatter]

Over the top camp gay men. Bought my daughter a book about space from WH Smith before and it had a hologram on the front. Took it to the till and this gay fella served me, looked at the book and the cover shone off the light. "Ooooohhh my gooodddddd, that a soooo shiny it nearly made me blind" he shouted out in a ridiculously camp voice. Asked him for some stamps and he just put his finger on his chin and after a long pause "we only do books of 12 is that okaaaaayyy?".

 

Lad on another bank of desks in my work is over the top about being gay and exaggerates everything about his voice and hand gestures. There are two other gay men in my workplace who prove it is possible to be gay without being a raging pink cravat wearing camp drama queen.

[SammyAftershave]

Over the top camp gay men. Bought my daughter a book about space from WH Smith before and it had a hologram on the front. Took it to the till and this gay fella served me, looked at the book and the cover shone off the light. "Ooooohhh my gooodddddd, that a soooo shiny it nearly made me blind" he shouted out in a ridiculously camp voice. Asked him for some stamps and he just put his finger on his chin and after a long pause "we only do books of 12 is that okaaaaayyy?".

 

Lad on another bank of desks in my work is over the top about being gay and exaggerates everything about his voice and hand gestures. There are two other gay men in my workplace who prove it is possible to be gay without being a raging pink cravat wearing camp drama queen.

 

Do you work for The Gay Times?

[General Dryness]

Chris Evans is an absolute wanker

 

Everything else in your post is redundant.

[Champ]

Over the top camp gay men. Bought my daughter a book about space from WH Smith before and it had a hologram on the front. Took it to the till and this gay fella served me, looked at the book and the cover shone off the light. "Ooooohhh my gooodddddd, that a soooo shiny it nearly made me blind" he shouted out in a ridiculously camp voice. Asked him for some stamps and he just put his finger on his chin and after a long pause "we only do books of 12 is that okaaaaayyy?".

Lad on another bank of desks in my work is over the top about being gay and exaggerates everything about his voice and hand gestures. There are two other gay men in my workplace who prove it is possible to be gay without being a raging pink cravat wearing camp drama queen.

It was parents' meetings at school this week and I spotted this young lad where we were waiting to speak to one of the teachers. He'll be no more than 15 but was incredibly camp (he was very sweet actually). Later I was asking my daughter about him and she said he'd been as camp as that since first year. Now, I dont know him or his family but I think I'd always assumed that was learned rather than innate behaviour. Or maybe I'm making a tit of myself here?