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Sometimes when you’ve waited so long for something it becomes impossible for it to live up to expectations. For the past couple of months I’ve felt that this was going to be the case with this title win. While we hadn’t been able to celebrate a title win at Anfield in 35 years, it wasn’t quite as straightforward as that, as we haven’t exactly been starved of success. We’ve won shitloads of other stuff, so we’re not in a situation like Newcastle were in recently when they finally got their hands on silverware. We’ve actually won the Premier League, it’s just that we didn’t get our “moment” with the team inside the stadium (or the open top bus celebration either for that matter). And we’ve also had a couple of very near misses where we had months of tension, drama and coach greetings etc This wasn’t like that. It’s been over for months. Some of us have known for a long time that we were winning the title. Most of us actually, even if some were understandably reluctant to allow themselves to say it for fear of tempting fate. If you’re one of those, you can admit it now, deep down you’ve known for a while, right? I’ve been thinking about it a lot this week though. Why wasn’t I as excited as I thought I’d be? I mulled over quite a few possible reasons which I can’t be arsed going over now as it’s pointless. And none of them were the reason it felt a bit underwhelming anyway. I’ll tell you what it was. It’s because it’s been so easy. There hasn’t been any jeopardy involved in this title ‘race’ for months. It was just a case of whittling down the games until it became mathematically certain. That lack of drama is great and given the choice I’d have it like this every year rather than go through what we did in those battles with City. Nevertheless, that was much more thrilling and exhilarating. Until of course, it all ended in disappointment, frustration and the sense of feeling cheated. I know it isn’t just me who had been feeling like that because going to Anfield for the past couple of months I’ve seen it all around me. There’s been no buzz. It wasn’t like those run ins when we were head to head with City when every game you could just feel the anticipation and excitement in the air. You could smell it. It’s hard to explain it unless you were there, but it hasn’t been like that. And it’s not because Klopp isn’t here, or the football hasn’t been as thrilling or any of the other reasons I may have thought it was at various stages. It’s because it’s been too easy and because we’ve known for so long that we would win it. So, where am I going with this? As I said at the top, when you’ve wanted something for so long and built it up as some sort of Holy Grail, it can be hard for that thing to live up to what you expected it to be. And that’s what happened here. For 35 years we wanted this, and when it finally came it wasn’t what I’d expected it would be. It was better. Much better.

Monday May 5: He’s off then. We’ve pretty much known it was on the cards for the best part of a year (or more in some cases) but there was always the possibility he would see sense and not go through with it. By choosing to leave he’s shitting on his legacy. Doesn’t matter how many chin stroking cunts in the media say that’s wrong and that we should all be blowing kisses at him and laying rose petals in his path as he walks away. This is football. This is how it is. Ask Michael Owen. Ask Steve McManaman. Shit, ask Phil Coutinho (and we got £140m for him!). You choose to walk away from Liverpool because you think you can do better, it’s going to severely damage how you are viewed by the majority of fans. He knows this, and he’s still chosen to do it anyway. That’s fine, as long as he accepts his fate and doesn’t start fucking bitching in the future about how unfair it is that he isn’t given the love and respect in his home town that he deserves. Fuck that. His legendary status just went up in smoke so I don’t want to hear anything from him about it being unfair or that he doesn’t understand it. He’ll be remembered as a great player who played a big part in our success under Klopp, but he won’t be loved the way many of the others are. I’ve actually got more time for Henderson now than Trent, and I don’t have much time for Hendo at all. Here is a lad who milked the “scouser in the team” image. Who spoke of wanting to emulate his hero Steven Gerrard. Who said his dream was to stay here for his whole career and captain the club. Maybe he meant it at the time. He probably did. People change, and he sure as shit did. Remember the likeable kid doing those “Wingmen” videos with his best mate Robbo? Whatever happened to him? He turned into a Prada dungaree wearing ponce who got a taste for the celebrity lifestyle and got his head turned by Bellingham. Trent has been walking around like his shit don’t stink for a couple of years now, and that’s a club where that arrogance runs through everyone, even the tea lady. The once humble lad from West Derby all of a sudden started thinking he was David Beckham, so moving to Madrid is a logical step. There has been a significant change in him in recent years, both in personality and style of play. The Trent we saw in his first four or five years in the team was a much more likeable lad, and - if we’re being honest - a more effective player. Somewhere along the line he changed, and we’d see those occasional performances where he looked like chasing back was beneath him. Not all the time, but often enough that it started to turn some fans against him a bit. No Liverpool fans questioned him in those first four or five years. But it has crept in over the last two or three years, long before the contract issue ever reared its ugly head. I’ve seen it and I've generally stuck up for him for the most part, with a few notable exceptions such as him not chasing back away at United and Napoli in quick succession a couple of years back, that abomination of a goal celebration at West Ham the other month and then his horror show at Anfield against United in the week Madrid bid for him. I could see he wasn’t the same lad or at times the same player, but I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Others weren’t, and he’s been getting a bit of stick on forums and social media for a while. That wasn’t happening in his first four or five seasons when he could do no wrong. The fans didn’t change though, he did, culminating in how he’s underhandedly engineered himself this free transfer to Madrid by continually stringing Liverpool along that he might still renew. I’ve been saying all season that the word from Liverpool was they still thought he might sign, and it turns out he didn’t tell Slot until the March international break. Dragged it out all season even though he knew. So when he posted up his little dramatic video this morning, I didn’t watch it. I read the tweet he put out but I didn’t watch the video and I probably never will. Nothing he has to say is of any interest to me. I’m sure it was all about how tough a decision it was, how much he loves the club and “it’s not you, it’s me”. Yeah I don’t need to hear that as it’s all bollocks. The fact it’s a "hard decision" is all I need to know. It should have been an easy decision - “fuck off I’m staying here”. So spare us the emotional shite about how much you love the club. If you loved it as much as you say you wouldn’t be tempted by those cunts. A team that beat us in two Champions League finals that he fucking played in by the way, let’s not forget that. He’s leaving for a rival club, a club most of us fucking despise. Some people try to downplay stuff like this by saying it’s just like anyone else changing job. It isn’t, because unless you have sixty thousand people watching you do your job and singing your name while you do it, it isn’t the same is it? Football is an emotional, passionate sport, so don’t try to compare this with someone swapping Barclays for Halifax, or Burger King for McDonalds. The other big factor in this, and it’s probably the primary factor really, is that he’s a scouser. He did not grow up dreaming of playing for Real Madrid. It was Liverpool. In fact, there’s even an interview out there where he’s praising Barcelona as his second club! So this isn’t a Spaniard like Alonso moving to Madrid, or a South American like Suarez or Mascherano or Coutinho going to Barca. South American players dream of playing for Madrid or Barca so it’s hard to deny them that dream or begrudge them it. Players leave their clubs to come to Liverpool because it’s a dream move. So when it happened to us you just have to suck it up as its the football food chain. Not when it’s a scouser though. A scouser who said all he wanted to do was play for Liverpool and be the next Gerrard. A scouser leaving when he could win all the trophies he wanted here. Him suddenly deciding he wants to play for Madrid after being glued to the hip of Bellingham for the last few years is not going to fly. If you have it in your heart to wish him well and not care about all this, good for you. Personally he’s dead to me. I don’t hate him. I don’t think he’s a bad person. I just think he’s a knobhead who has let the celebrity lifestyle go to his head and he’s forgotten who he is and where he came from. He’ll remember it one day, and when he does he’ll probably regret what he’s done. By then it will be too late. As for what happens now, personally I don’t want to see him playing again. He’s made his decision, and that’s fine. But I don’t have to like it and I don’t think we owe him anything in terms of giving him a fond farewell. I bet he gets one though. Slot will play him on the final day and some on the Kop will chant his name. Not everyone, but plenty will. That’s fine, each to their own. My own view is he had his ovation last week and despite all that he’s still chosen Bellingham over us (because that’s what this is, he never harboured dreams of playing for Madrid until his boy went there). I don’t want to see him booed or given stick, mainly because it reflects badly on us. I don’t care about his feelings getting hurt. Fuck his feelings. I hate Real Madrid and I hate Bellingham, so Trent can go and fuck himself now. I won’t even give him a second thought once he’s gone. I don’t think he deserves some big emotional send off and his presence on the bus at the parade will sour things for some fans who won’t want to see him. I don’t want to see him either, but equally I would say that he has every right to be on that bus and his team-mates will want him there, so I wouldn’t call for him to be left behind. But it is going to be uncomfortable, not least for him. He’s going to be sheepish as fuck on that bus. He might actually choose not to be there. I’m also sick of hearing the likes of Slot and some of Trent’s team-mates talking about how unfair it is for anybody to question his commitment to the club or his love of it. I mean, not signing a contract is literally refusing to commit to the club! Why are we not allowed to question it? Like a fella who leaves his wife and kids to run off with a stripper (Bellingham) and then says “how dare you question my commitment to my family”. Just because for the most part he has given his all this season does not mean he’s “committed” to the club. He was never committed to the club because he refused the contract and made up his mind to leave at least 12 months ago, probably longer. He signed a four year deal when others were penning five and six year ones. One might say that was because all of this was planned, but I’d suggest it was more about his age and wanting to negotiate what would be the most important contract of his career when he is at the prime age of 26. Who knows really though? He gets some degree of credit for not phoning it in this season, but the way he’s gone about this whole thing stinks and I’m sure he will live to regret it. We won’t though. We’ll move on and we’ll be fine. The team is not going to stop functioning because we lost a right back. He’s quickly going to discover though that the grass isn’t greener. When those white hankies are waving and the Spanish press are fucking mauling him after Raphinha has tore him a new one in El Classico, and the Madrid fans are comparing him unfavourably with crowd favourite Carvajal, he’ll realise what he’s done. And when they decide in a year or two they want rid of him and he’s desperate to come back here (like Michael Owen was), he’ll realise what a mistake he’s made when Liverpool aren’t interested in paying £40m for a player who walked out for nothing. There’s every chance he’ll be at Newcastle or Spurs or Villa in a few years time, and when he’s eventually retired he’ll be lamenting how unfair it is that he isn’t loved in his home city despite all he achieved here. Well you were warned about that and you still chose Bellingham, so tough shit. And Cody Gakpo, don’t think I’ve forgotten what you said last week about “hopefully Trent stays too”. You already knew he was going so unless you were hoping he would change his mind, that’s some sly, disingenuous shit from a supposed man of God. If there’s one good thing to come out of this though it’s that I can finally call him Trent Benedict-Arnold. I’ve been sitting on that all season.

Monday Apr 28: Still soaking in everything from yesterday, and there’s a lot to soak in. Loads of great content from the club and also the likes of Sky and BBC. I never got especially emotional yesterday, it was more joy than anything else, and it’s the same today mostly. There hasn’t been much to get me choked up, but Curtis bringing his mate Harry onto the pitch did get to me, as did seeing Steve Hunter celebrating with Aldo on the commentary gantry. I’ve said before that Steve is the biggest Red I know, absolutely no-one loves it more than he does, and seeing him getting emotional got me going too. For years I travelled up and down the country with Steve doing reserve and youth team games and he’s a mate, so I knew how much this meant to him. I just think it’s really cool that he’s got to commentate on us winning a title because he’s put in the hard yards, doing reserve games in the middle of winter at fucking far flung places like Hartlepool, Wakefield, Morecambe etc. He’s still doing it now, so seeing him in Aldo’s arms like that, yeah it got to me. Something else that choked me up today was Klopp putting out a brief but touching message on his insta. It’s significant that he didn’t do it yesterday because he clearly wanted to stay out of it and let Slot and the players have their moment without making anything about himself. Such a great man. As is Slot. Using his big moment to return the favour to Klopp yesterday says a lot about the man. I remember watching the first interview he did after taking the job and thinking that there was a quiet confidence there but also a totally unassuming, modesty as well. Believing in himself but not having an ego that could see him come across as arrogant. That was my first impression of him, and now, nine or ten months later, it’s still the same. And it never wavered at any point during the season. It’s not a mask, or a character he’s playing. It’s clearly who he is because he’s been that man in every press conference and every interview he’s done over that entire time. So giving up his big moment just so he could pay tribute to the man he replaced, yeah that was not remotely surprising. It did make me think though, this is not normal. It’s not how things usually are, at any club, let alone one as big as us. Look at GH and Rafa for example. You know there was definitely bitterness and resentment on both sides there, and that isn’t even a criticism as I think that’s pretty normal in this business. What isn’t normal is what we saw with Klopp in his final game, or with Slot yesterday. On the transfer front, we’re being linked with Cherki again. There’s something off about this lad. A few of the lads from the pod have watched him a bit and think he’s boss. He has a big reputation as a potential future superstar, yet his asking price is always said to be around £25m. I’ve never seen him play but he reeks of Hatem Ben Arfa to me. There has to be a reason why a) his fee is so low, and b) nobody has swooped for him already. At that price though maybe Hughes and Edwards will think it’s can’t lose.

Monday Apr 21: Reports today claim that “Chelsea have moved into pole position” to sign Huijsen. The same reports say he favours. Move to Liverpool. What the fuck does that even mean? What a load of nonsense. How are they in pole position if they aren’t the club he wants to join? It isn’t a bidding war as he has a release clause, so other than offering him a load more wages how can they put themselves in “pole position”??? Of the teams linked with him, Chelsea are probably the least likely to get him. If he going there over us or Arsenal? Let alone Real Madrid, the club he’s on record as saying is his dream move. I’m fairly confident we can get him because Matip is his hero and he can ask Van Dijk for his favourite stories about his time with the great man. Speaking of Van Dijk, he said this today about Trent "Since I joined the club, he has been a fantastic player and there's a lot of good things that he will always be remembered for if he decides to leave. Whatever may happen in the future for him, that's something he has to resolve with himself and the family. But he's a Liverpool player at this point and he's important for our team." That suggests he’s leaving, but we also had talk like that about Mo and Virg because when. Player literally has weeks remaining on a contract and a new one hasn’t been signed, at that point he is leaving unless. New deal is signed. It’s worth repeating though, he hasn’t signed a new deal with us but he hasn’t signed a deal with Real Madrid either. Not yet. There’s still time for him to see sense. Barnes was asked about the situation yesterday, and with Michael Owen sat next to him he responded to the question “can any player turn down Real Madrid?” By saying “Well, there was an opportunity for a player to go to Real Madrid and wear the white shirt, but he didn’t. Some of us can resist it.” He was talking about when Toshack tried to take him there. Liverpool never accepted the bid and Barnes didn’t push for it because he prioritised his Anfield legacy. Owen could be held in the same esteem with Liverpool fans as Barnes, but he chose to leave and therefore he isn’t. Trent can do what he likes, but there will be consequences if he leaves. And I don’t mean the extreme knobheads burning shirts and sending abuse online. That isn’t the worst part. The worst part is the shoulder shrugging and “meh” from the sane, rational majority whenever that player is mentioned in the future. For Trent it’s a simple question; do you want to be a John Barnes or a Michael Owen?

Monday May 12: The big story everyone is talking about in the national media today is Trent and the booing. I’ve said my piece on what happened in the match report, but in terms of this media feeding frenzy, there are two thoughts I have here. The first, is that this doesn’t happen if the booing doesn’t take place, so the discussion is a result of the actions of some of our fans. We opened the door for this. Well, Trent opened it and we pushed through it. He deserved to be booed but that doesn’t mean we had to do it. And having done it when he initially took the field, the point was made and it should have stopped then as we had a game to win. If it had stopped then, the story would still be out there today but personally I’d feel a lot less grubby about how the crowd had reacted. It’s fine for some of our fans to be upset about what happened and to be unhappy with those who booed, but it isn’t fine for all of these outsiders to be commenting on it. Not unless they’re going to do the same thing any time another player is booed by his own fans. Granted, usually players are booed when they return rather than when they are still there, but then it’s rare that supporters have prior notice that one of their own has run down his contract to join a rival (which Madrid are). There isn’t a fanbase in the country that wouldn’t react this way or a whole lot worse if they were in the same situation. If Chelsea were doing this it wouldn’t even warrant a mention, which I guess is a backhanded compliment to us in a way. It has surprised people so it’s now a talking point nationally. One thing this showed us though was that if he ever comes back here with Madrid then the booing he got yesterday will seem like nothing. He’ll get the full Goodison treatment if he rocks up here in his fancy all white kit with his gobshite Galactico buddies. And it will be fully warranted because of how he - and they - acted throughout this. That’s what the national media aren’t talking about. They’re missing the point entirely. “Trent is being booed because he’s leaving”. No he fucking isn’t. It’s much more complex and so far the only person I’ve seen in the national media who gets it is Carragher. There’s a quote doing the rounds from Virgil today that is being seen as a dig at Trent. “There’s no other place to be” is the quote being thrown around in what is being described as “a message to Alexander-Arnold”. All well and good, except what he said was “for me there’s no other place to be”, which can mean two things. It can mean in his opinion, there’s no other place to be, full stop. Or it can mean that there is not other place for him to be, which seems far more likely. I do get the vibe that he is less sympathetic towards Trent than other players are though. And we’ve all seen the regular dirty looks he’s flashed Trent’s way at times over the last couple of seasons. In other news today, Slot is partying in Ibiza and the players are on a farewell to Trent lads holiday in Dubai. We don’t play until next Monday night and it has kind of been standard since we got knocked out our Europe that everyone gets a couple of days off at the start of the week. Still, seeing Slot on a stage with that Wayne Lineker helmet was a bit jarring. One more thing, I see Kostas was linked with Leeds today. Steer clear lad, they’re going straight back down. You can do better. I can see why Leeds want him though. Remember that train wreck they had at left back last time they up? Firpo I think his name is. He’s still there. And so is the fucking clown goalkeeper who got them relegated. The Premier League has become exactly what the American owners all wanted. It’s a no-relegation league now, only every season they allow three Championship clubs to take part for a year.

Everything is more or less settled now at the top and bottom, but the fight for the Champions League spots is going right down to the wire and you’ve got five teams fighting for three spots. It’s the only thing worth following between now and May, and while I have my own preferences for which three make it, given the fact I don’t like any of them I know I’ll be able to take satisfaction in the misery of the two who miss out. That and the fact we’re Champions. Arsenal aren’t going to relinquish their grip on second but Forest looked like they were in a bit of trouble and shitting the bed at home to Everton last week. Fortunately for them, Doctor Spurs was on hand to make it all better. You couldn’t wish for a better opponent right now if you need to win a game. And I say that with the full knowledge we need to beat them this weekend to secure the tie. Usually I don’t tempt fate like that, but it’s Spurs. If we don’t beat them at Anfield in a game that really matters, we don’t deserve the title. I expect us to destroy them. But anyway, back to Forest. They’ve been third for most of the season so it would feel harsh on them if they slipped out of the top five at this late stage. But they went into their game on Monday night in 6th place and it was a must win game. Fortunately for them, they were playing Spurs. Elliot Anderson put them ahead with a deflected shot from 20 yards. Doesn’t look good from the keeper, but the deflection does it make it tricky and I’d probably give him a pass on that one. He’s one of the only Spurs players who can hold his head up this season. He does NOT get a pass for the pitiful effort he made on the second goal however. Coming out and getting nowhere near a ball that Wood headed in. Looks like he had Shilton’s concrete boots on there, although Wood is a good foot taller than Diego. Then again, I doubt Wood was powered by whatever Diego in his system so swings and roundabouts. If you give Forest a lead you’re in trouble If you give them a two goal lead you’re in big trouble. And if you give them a two goal and you’re Spurs, yeah you’re done. Spurs had plenty of chances but most of them fell to Richarlison and he wasted them. He did eventually score at about the tenth time of asking but it was too little too late. They might be better off playing an actual pigeon up front. He left Everton to go on to bigger and better things, and the Blues have continued to stink since he left. Yet he somehow finds himself below them in the table anyway. No wonder he still kisses up to them every time he goes back. Probably wishes he’d never left, on reflection.

The only reason this defeat bothered me was because it was Chelsea and it helped them in their quest for a Champions League place. I’m not digging anyone out about the performance, the team selection or any specific individual displays. That would be daft considering the week we’ve had. Even if the players had clocked off and not put in a shift it would still be difficult to criticise, but that wasn’t the case anyway. We’ve played worse than this in games that actually matter and won the game. I’m ok with how we approached the game, we just didn’t have it on the day which is probably not surprising. We won the league last week and it’s always going to be tough to play with the necessary intensity to be able to get results in this league, especially against a team with a lot to play for. I thought the commitment and application was fine, no issues with that whatsoever, but in some ways it’s almost like a pre-season friendly. You want to play well, you want to show a professional attitude, but ultimately the jeopardy of the result just isn’t there and that has an impact, even if only a small one. It was a dead rubber for us, but for Chelsea it was a meaningful game and we’ve seen all season that we’ve been involved in loads of close games even when the stakes are high. So this was probably to be expected, especially given that Slot made six changes. I was surprised how many changes he made given what he’d said on Friday about not wanting to throw all of the fringe players in together. It’s not an ideal way to allow them to shine, and it’s unfair to judge them based on this. You’ve got some players who are going out there under huge pressure knowing that their future at the club might be on the line, and you’ve got others who know they’re going to be here next season and are basking in the afterglow of winning the title.

I contemplated just posting a photo of a beach instead of bothering with a report. No-one is arsed anymore, are they? Slot going off to Ibiza, the players spending the week in Dubai, the “Summer of 66” party, fans in the away end not giving a shit about the result and just singing and dancing the night away… nobody is arsed so I guess I shouldn’t be either. There’s a part of me that’s uneasy about how it’s gone since we clinched the title but life’s too short to be bothered by it. We’ve won the league so I’ll focus on that rather than what has been happening since we won it. I started to get a bit wound up in the closing stages of this game when we went 3-2 down and didn’t seem to be showing any urgency to try and get an equaliser, but I stopped myself as what’s the point? It’s over, we won. I’m like a broken record here, but the reality of the situation is that no matter how hard you try to be professional, and no matter how much you tell yourself it’s important to finish the season strongly, it’s impossible for players to be at their absolute maximum when there’s no jeopardy involved and the stakes aren’t high.

I should probably have my feet up in Dubai now, or be living it up in Ibiza with that Wayne Lineker arsewipe, as that seems to be the done thing now that the title is won. The rest of this season doesn’t matter, it seems. But I’m not, I’m here, writing about a load of dead rubbers because the hardest working man in football doesn’t quit before the season is finished. So, another week where the only thing with anything riding on it is the top five chase. City were looking like shoe ins for it, but they somehow failed to beat Southampton and that has opened the door for others a little. If anything, this result and performance showed that they’re still miles off what they were, despite their apparent improvement of late. City are still not very good. They spent a fucking fortune in January and most of them are on the bench as they’re not good enough. The one exception is Marmoush, but he was on the bench too as the cave troll was back from injury. Remember when everyone was terrified of facing him? They’re not anymore. I wonder if he’ll ever get that back? He’ll probably have to wait until he gets his planned move to Real Madrid for that to happen, as City aren’t going to be scaring anyone for the foreseeable. Marmoush might actually be too good for them in their present state. I hope for his sake he put a release clause in his contract. He had to wait 85 minutes to get on but still went closest to scoring with a rasping drive that hit the bar. Generally it wasn’t too difficult for Ramsdale and he ended up entertaining himself by saving shots that were going two yards wide. Not the brightest bulb in the box that lad. Southampton celebrated wildly which is a bit cringeworthy, but I sort of get it. They weren’t celebrating a 0-0 draw so much as they were celebrating avoiding being remembered as the worst top flight team in history. Everyone remembers Derby for that, so Southampton didn’t want to be taking that mantle and a draw with the reigning Champions to avoid making unwanted history is something to celebrate. They’ve had a miserable season so who are we to begrudge them a moment of celebration? Good for them. And their response to that tit Ruben Dias was glorious. He’s got form for this kind of thing, so it wasn’t THAT much of a surprise to hear him sounding off about how Southampton chose to play. “They didn’t want to play”. Mate, they had 11 fucking points going into this game, It’s not a matter of “want”. They’re just shite. 83 goals they’ve conceded, so if you can’t score that’s on you, you fucking crying cunt. Southampton did what 90% of City’s opponents have done over the past decade, there was absolutely nothing unusual about it. The only thing that’s different is that City used to sweep these teams aside with ease, but they’re not that City anymore. That’s what Dias should be concerning himself with, not what Southampton are doing. Anyway, this is what Southampton’s official media team came up with in response…. They should be allowed to stay up just for that, it’s genuinely outstanding work.

Two weeks ago was perhaps the most enjoyable afternoon I’ve ever had at Anfield. This was perhaps the least enjoyable. And not because of the result or the performance, which ended up being completely secondary to the real story of the day. There’s so many layers to all of this and it’s a delicate subject in many ways. You can’t tell people how to feel and I’ve said that repeatedly throughout the Trent saga. Some will hate him and never forgive him, and that’s perfectly fine. Some won’t be arsed and will wish him well. Again, absolutely fine. Most will be somewhere in the middle. I’m also wary of telling people how to react, so the booing is a bit of a thorny issue. I heard boos when his name was read out prior to kick off and I shrugged. I wasn’t angry that people booed his name when it was read out, although I was a little surprised at the volume of it. Still, the game hadn’t even started. Fans are letting their feelings be known and he brought this on himself. When he was booed onto the pitch I felt a bit uneasy about that and probably winced, but again, I wasn’t angry about it and I can see that it was an understandable reaction. The point when it crossed the line for me was when it continued into the game and any time he touched the ball there were loud boos. Nah, fuck that. It shouldn’t happen. Whatever he has or hasn’t done, he’s out there trying to help us win a high profile game against the team directly below us in the league (miles below us, but still). Park your grievances until the game is done. To me that’s the big thing here but it’s largely being overlooked in the “Liverpool fans boo Trent” media frenzy. The point that largely seems to be getting missed here is that the issue is not whether Trent deserved to get booed or not (he probably did, all things considered), it’s that booing a Liverpool player while we are trying to win a game is counter-productive and not to mention unedifying. I don’t ever remember this happening before. Not that we’re perfect, but a player wearing the Red shirt being booed every time he touched the ball is definitely a new low. I vaguely remember McManaman getting some grief after he announced he was leaving. Nothing like this though. We’ve had ex players (including McManaman) booed on their return, which isn’t something I particularly like either but they are representing the opposition so it’s a whole different kettle of fish to this. If Trent comes back with Madrid next season, boo the fucking shit out of him if you like. But not when he’s out there playing for us.

Not a full slate of fixtures this weekend because of the FA Cup, and there wasn’t a great deal at stake in most of the games. Obviously we had a title to win, but for the likes of Spurs and United it’s all about not finishing as the worst of the rest. Basically the Premier League now consists of 17 teams, with the other three spots being filled on a one year rotation by whoever comes up from the Championship. There’s every chance that Spurs are going to be the worst of the actual Premier League teams this year, yet that fat scruff manager is still being chesty about it. This rant this week was something, even for him. “I love the frenzy around finishing fifth this year … they’re all brilliant, aren’t they?” Postecoglou said. “We finished fifth last year. Why is it such a disaster that we finished fifth? Around this time last year, I was asked to lose a game [against City]. And I was wrong for wanting to win it. We finished fifth but it’s not a good story. A better story is my tenure has been a disaster and it continues to be. I just think that the kind of hysteria that is surrounding what’s happening at the moment is all premeditated for a certain outcome. Hopefully we can defy that.” Mate, you’re 16th. Why are you talking about finishing 5th last season when you’re 16th now, and likely to end up 17th? You’ve lost 19 games and counting in the league this season. Probably best to keep your head down and hope you fluke the Europa League, rather than coming out swinging like this. Can’t help himself though, he’s such an arrogant fuck. But anyway, this weekend’s games. I’ll start with the battle for the top five and all of those “brilliant” teams going for it. First up, Newcastle, where Beheddie was back in the dug out after his illness. The Geordies eventually made short work of Ipswich, but it took them a while to break through though. Ipswich were reduced to ten men midway through the first half thanks to two quick yellows for Ben Johnson. The first is for a dive on the edge of the box. There’s no contact but I don’t think was a ‘dive’ as such, and you could argue that he’s having to try and avoid the outstretched branch of Burn. It wasn’t a free-kick but I think it’s harsh to book him. Ben Johnson getting caught cheating isn't anything new though. Having already been booked, I have to say that the lad is a fucking moron for what he did next. Isak beat him all ends up with a lovely little flick, but it’s out by the touchline so just let him go and have one of your team-mates come over on the cover. Don’t put both arms around him and hold him back, because that’s always going to get you a second booking (unless your name is Joelinton or Guimaraes). Newcastle had plenty of first half chances but Isak kept wasting them. Eventually VAR came to their rescue by giving them a soft penalty that Isak converted. Burn headed in the second when Trippier stood one up to the back post for the big fucking lamp post to nod in. Osula made it three with a towering header from a corner. The result confirmed Ipswich’s relegation and this is the first time in history that all three teams have been relegated with four games still to spare. If they keep their squad together and McKenna stays, they’ll run away with the Championship. And then go straight back down again, because that’s where we are now. One or more of the “established 17” are going to have really fall off a cliff for that to change, and seeing how even the worst of them (currently West Ham but potentially Spurs) have some boss players, that just doesn’t seem likely does it? Newcastle are third and looking good for one of those CL places, which increases their chances of keeping hold of Isak. They’re being linked with my boy Mbuemo this week. If that happens, welcome to Anfield, Anthony Gordon. Next up, sorry West Ham who plumbed new depths by throwing away three points on Potter's old stomping ground. Ayari’s 25 yard curler set Brighton on their way but Kudus levelled following a Bowen cutback. Goal number four on the season for a player who many people seem to think would be a good signing for us. You sure?? Soucek has scored twice as many, maybe we should sign him too? West Ham were good value for their lead but they imploded spectacularly. Mitoma equalised in the last minute when he was left completely unmarked in the middle of the six yard box, and Baleba won it in stoppage time with a brilliant 30 yard curler that found the corner. West Ham are a disgrace. Look at how that winner came about. Brighton had a corner and West Ham’s players weren’t even watching as they took a short one. Areola palmed away the cross, and then when Baleba gets the ball nobody closes him down until eventually Bowen made a token gesture but got there too late. Fullkrug was benched but Potter said it was nothing to do with his post match obliteration of his team-mates in a BBC interview. I believe him, because Potter probably agreed with every word of it. If he didn’t, then he’s got no chance of turning them around. If Fullkrug was mad last week, fuck knows what he was thinking after this shambolic collapse.

The two worst sides in the 17 Team Premier League both played their games on Friday to give themselves extra recovery time for when they met in one of the showpiece events of the season. The Premier League should be apologising to UEFA for the clownshow that was served up in Bilbao, but I’ll get to that. United went close to full strength (whatever that is these days) while Spurs rested everyone who started the final. Which begs the question as to why they were allowed to bring their game forward to the Friday if they weren’t taking it seriously anyway? Nobody played on Saturday because it was the FA Cup Final, but Spurs may as well have played on Sunday considering they rested all their starters. I’ll start with United though, who lost 1-0 at Chelsea but were somewhat unfortunate, as they played quite well by their standards and deserved something from the game. Any confidence they might have gotten from the performance was nowhere to be seen in the final though, where they stank the place out. Even then, they were better than Spurs, who were dreadful, but one spawny goal decided it and it went the way of the Londoners. This was the first season where the Europa League didn’t accept a load of Champions League drop outs. I’ve always hated that, but I think now we see the benefit of it. How shit must the Europa League teams have been if United went unbeaten all the way to the final? Anyway, here’s your customary United starting eleven that faced Chelsea: Onana, Lindelof, Maguire, Shaw. Mazraoui, Fernandes, Casemiro, Dorgu, Diallo, Mount, Hoijland. That smell of shit in your nostrils is that starting eleven. They made only one change to that for the final, with Lindelof dropping out for that Lenny Yoro jabroni. They’ve been trying to shift Lindelof, Maguire and Shaw for about three years, yet not only are they still there, they’re starting regularly. It’s hilarious, especially as Maguire is one of their best players. He thought he’d opened the scoring at Stamford Bridge only for it to be ruled out for one of those marginal VAR offsides. This one was the tip of his kneecap. Someone make it stop. What VAR giveth it often taketh away though, and at the other end Chelsea were awarded a penalty after Onana was adjudged to have wiped out George. It did look like a pen in real time, but Onana got the ball and the lad was already going down before there was any contact. As much as I still hate VAR, I think it’s worth having on penalty and red card decisions. Chelsea’s winner was a great goal. Brilliant play from James and a good header by Cucurella. United had sent on Garnacho a minute beforehand, but he’s such a knobhead that you can tell Amorim hates him. He’s all about social media and how many followers he has, and he’s constantly running his mouth about this or that. Perhaps the worst thing he’s ever done though came before the Europa Final when he posted a livestream of himself having his bleached. No wonder he was on the bench. He’s lucky he wasn’t left at home. You know what I always say about bleached blonde footballers? Well this tit is the poster child for it. I hate his face too, he’s proper weird looking. He looks like a Spitting Image puppet of himself. He's all cheekbones and lips. Like that fella who had all the plastic surgery to make himself look like a Ken doll. He spat his dummy after being left on the bench for the final, and Amorim wasn’t having it, referencing a chance he missed in the semi and basically saying Mount deserved to play ahead of him. Garnacho’s brother then ripped Amorim on Instagram. The whole club is a complete circus, and Garnacho is one of the biggest clowns. Wanna hear something shocking? Johnny Evans is still at Man United and he was in their squad for the Europa League Final. He didn’t get on the pitch, and I only found out he was involved when I saw his name flash up because he’d been a yellow card for some reason. Maybe he threw his false teeth onto the pitch or he was shaking his walking stick at the fourth official? I thought he left a year ago. Maybe he did and they brought him back for the umpteenth time. Bet he’s still there next season, along with Shaw, Maguire and Lindelof.

I kind of know how our players feel now, as I’m struggling for motivation now when it comes to these. The sooner the season finishes the better. The only thing in the balance is the four places below us and I don’t really want any of the teams in contention to get them. Fuck all of them, it’s just a case of who is the least offensive. I suppose City and Chelsea are the most offensive (not to mention massive fucking cheats), but it’s a tough sell getting me to cheer for Newcastle, Forest or Villa. Eurgh. The one thing I do know is that if Arsenal were to somehow end up missing out that would be the funniest thing in the history of football. Ok, funniest moment since Kloppo ran on the pitch when Divock scored. It’s not even that I particularly hate Arsenal. No more than any of the other teams involved anyway, and less than some of them. But I’m all for the comedy and like I say, few things would be funnier than that. To be running your mouths all season and then end up fourth or worse would just be *chefs kiss*. For that to happen we’d need to beat them this week, then Newcastle would need to beat them the week after, and then we’d have to see where everything is going into the final day. They lost at home to Bournemouth this weekend and that has really opened things up now. They seem unlikely to get second, but it will be interesting to see how far they might fall. When I saw they’d lost to Bournemouth I assumed Arteta must have made a load of changes with PSG in mind. Turns out he didn’t. This was full strength Arsenal losing at home to Bournemouth. Arteta said afterwards they would use the anger and fire they feel from this and take it into their second leg in Paris. Narrator: They did take that anger and fire and use it in Paris. Amusingly, against Bournemouth they were undone by set-pieces. Those goals have dried up for them and now they’re getting some of their own medicine. Bournemouth did them on a set-piece earlier in the season too, that boss corner routine we stole from them and used against City. You know what I really do hate about Arsenal though? Ben White. He winds me right up. I can’t even look at him without getting riled up. His face. The facial hair. The fake tan. The hair. The socks. The way he pulls up his shorts on one side. Everything about this cunt irritates me. Rice put them ahead with a composed finish on his 100th appearance for the Gunners. As mentioned before though, Arsenal can’t hold onto a lead and they squandered yet more points from a winning position. Semenyo hurled in a monster throw in and Huijsen headed past Raya. Could we be seeing that for us next season? Both of them have been linked with us so you never know. Bournemouth were well on top after that equaliser and it wasn’t a shock when they got the winner. It was scrappy and - according to the online Goons at least - somewhat controversial. Tavernier made a near post run and got his head on the corner, and Evanilsen bundled in at the back post. There was a VAR check for handball but there was nothing conclusive so the goal stood. Cue lots of crying on social media about conspiracies again. I kept seeing tweets from them showing the clip and talking like it’s a clear handball, but there’s not a single angle that shows whether it hits his elbow or his chest. It’s impossible to tell. Here’s my question though. We’ve won the league already, why would PGMOL still be “helping” us out? They’re absolutely fucking nuts those Arsenal loons. The Arsenal fans that stayed til the end booed the shit out their team. Great job motivating your lads for the CL semi final, well done. Wankers. Another season with no silverware.