Jobsworths

[Liverpool lad]

Probably going to be quite a bitchy thread this one. But who is the biggest jobsworth you have worked with?

 

The best one I have heard is a woman who turns up one hour early for shifts to peek through the window to check people are behaving the way they should

[Section_31]

My thoughts were outlined here.

 

* thinks about old job

 

* shudders

 

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/43045-jobsworths.html

[Fugitive]

Some cunt I worked with years ago at a call centre when I was at Uni. He used to complain to the boss if someone was eating at their desk or if someone was not wearing a tie as it makes the company look bad and unprofessional in his opinion.

 

There was not even a rule that said we had to wear ties until the cunt started moaning. The day someone glued everything he owned to his desk will live on as one of the greatest in my mind.

 

Four of us quit a week later because the place went into meltdown due to his complaints, two people being sacked and rule after new rule being introduced.

 

Shit job but some funny fucking memories.

[Liverpool lad]

My thoughts were outlined here.

 

* thinks about old job

 

* shudders

 

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/43045-jobsworths.html

 

I searched for this and overlooked it sorry

[The_Goat]

Had a job in a factory many years ago, Everyone used to take the piss with their breaks going on longer than the allocated 15 mins. The boss gave some lad (he was only about 19) a whistle and he used to sit there with the rest of us with his cup of tea in one hand, watch in the other, and as soon as the 15 minutes were up he would blow that whistle for all he was worth.

[The_Goat]

he supported Man U unsurprisingly.

[Unrighteous]

Wait till Fuge sees his last post.

[Fugitive]

he supported Man U unsurprisingly.

 

NO FUCKING TWATTING *F ON THE CUNTING GF MOTHERFUCKERS.

 

NEGGGGGGGGGGGGGED!!!

[sir roger]

Worked on a bank counter years ago with a girl who was nice enough but who was very

'black & white' on matters.

 

The peak of her 'jobsworthness' came when a lady was trying to cash a cheque & she said ' I'm sorry , your signature is nothing like the one in our records , have you had a stroke or something ? '

[Anubis]

The Dale Street site of Liverpool Magistrates Court is currently closed because of a gas leak. British Gas have been digging up that side of Hatton Garden looking for the leak. They have two vans to carry their equipment.

 

Two days on the run the fascist Parking Wardens of whatever twat fuck shit inbred-employing company Liverpool Council have contracted parking out to, have ticketed the vans.

 

These blokes are looking for a potentially very dangerous gas leak, and you're ticketing their vans you utter utter cunts.

[Harry Squatter]

My brother worked in Mcdonalds and he forgot his name badge with his gay gold stars on, the jobsworth supervisor was some 19 year old bird who made him walk home and get it and come back, she docked him an hours pay as she argued that he wasn't in work to fulfil his duties. Even though she spent 20 minutes arguing with him over it in front of the rest of the staff while customers waited saying he would look unprofessional and then ordered him to go home and get it. He packed in about 2 days later.

[Harry Squatter]

Some fat bitch who managed a team on my floor banned people taking photos of other people in the office when they were on their last day or it was christmas. She argued that there were files lying round and if they were on someones photos it would breach security. This was pre-facebook days as well.

[Section_31]

I fell foul of a medical centre's manager today in the course of my duties, need I say more.

[RoboRiise]

My brother worked in Mcdonalds and he forgot his name badge with his gay gold stars on, the jobsworth supervisor was some 19 year old bird who made him walk home and get it and come back, she docked him an hours pay as she argued that he wasn't in work to fulfil his duties. Even though she spent 20 minutes arguing with him over it in front of the rest of the staff while customers waited saying he would look unprofessional and then ordered him to go home and get it. He packed in about 2 days later.

 

 

Customers waited? Fucking hell, she'd have managed about a minute of that, tops , if I'd been one of them before she was interrupted with "listen Blossom, is his fucking badge going to serve me a burger and if not, could I possibly trouble you to do it?"

 

I've worked with so many it's unbelievable. One that sticks in the mind is a guy who refused to send a very, very important form out to a customer because he couldn't find his address stamp to stamp it with. Note, the address stamp isn't some kind of authorisation or anything, it's just a return address which can be written instead but he didn't think he was allowed/authorised to do that. In short, a complete fucking idiot.

[RJ Fan club]

A lad I work with reports breaches of Planning Control all the time. I had to deal with a case he'd dobbed in recently. It was for a new fish and chip restaurant which had opened. He just didn't like the look of it, cos he's a snob and thought it brought down the area. He dobbed them in for all kinds of shit, the likes of which I can't go on about here.

 

Needless to say, when I investigated said breaches, I wrote it off as a not expedient to take action. He then, decided to take it up with another Manager.

 

I don't see what he gets from it; and it just creates loads more work IMO in a under resourced and staffed department. Occasionally, albeit very rarely you have to report it. In ten years in my job, I have done it once; he must have done it well over 50 times in three years.

[Harry Squatter]

When I worked away in Glasgow we shared an office with another department, basically we went up there to do interviews for them because they were short staffed and they had a backlog of people that needed processing.

 

Anyway I interviewed this person and their solicitor asks for a copy of the interview record. I went to use the photocopier but some stupid jobsworth bitch says that I wasn't allowed to use the paper in their photocopier and that we should have brought our own up from Liverpool. At first I thought she was having a laugh as some of the other staff were normal and we had a laugh with them. This stupid twat says "No you can't use our paper as it comes out of our budget and we can't order any more" (No reason given as to why she can't get any more paper out the stationery cupboard, or why taking 15 sheets of paper would spaz up their budget so much).

 

I started calling her a stupid jobsworth twat and having an argument with her - she then says we should go the stationery shop in Glasgow city centre (the office was next to Ibrox) and bring some back. I told her to stop being a tit but she was adamant that we weren't allowed to use the paper. In the end I had to tell the solicitor that the copier was broken. I later told her boss how much of a twat she was and he bollocked her saying that we had come up especially to help them.

[Juniper]

I'm glad to see there have been no posts on here during work hours.

 

 

 

 

:whistle:

[gaz75]

I worked in a warehouse a while back and some old git would time us when we went the toilet, one of the lads always took ages just to piss him off and ended up getting pulled up by the boss about it. Needless to say this did not go down well so we hatched a plan to get revenge, he brought a pair of spare boots into work and placed them in the cubicle, we knew the old git had seen him go in so we knew he would timing him, 10 minutes later he was fuming and went to get the boss so they both go into the toilet while we where all pissing ourselves laughing, the look on his face when he realised the cubicle was empty was a picture. The jobsworth twat.

[a stoner]

Were I used to work laminating boat hulls we used to have about 20 minutes after each layer while it went off enough to turn the boat to do the other side. In this time we cleaned all the gear up, got the next lot ready and went out for a fag. One day the company jobsworth saw us outside 3 times and reported us to the boss. He came down jumping up and down yelling and screaming while we tried to explain how it worked out. While this was going on the layer we were in the middle of putting down went off on us.

The boss felt such a prick he apologised to us and sacked the jobworth for being a complete wanker.

Justice!!

[TommyW]

one of the supervisors in the office i used to work used to lock the doors at 5.25 to stop the anyone trying the 5.26 log out 'trick'

 

needless

[joeyk]

Some cunt I worked with years ago at a call centre when I was at Uni. He used to complain to the boss if someone was eating at their desk or if someone was not wearing a tie as it makes the company look bad and unprofessional in his opinion.

 

There was not even a rule that said we had to wear ties until the cunt started moaning. The day someone glued everything he owned to his desk will live on as one of the greatest in my mind.

 

Four of us quit a week later because the place went into meltdown due to his complaints, two people being sacked and rule after new rule being introduced.

 

Shit job but some funny fucking memories.

 

What, eating a meal at desks Fuge ? I don't like to see that at my work. People need to take a break, relax. We spend enough hours at desks as is. Not good for the mind, body or soul. That said, he does sound like he deserved his head glued to his desk..

Edited January 16, 2010 by joeyk

[Lucky Pierre]

Used to work at a cash and carry, and the boss would make us wait until every single person had finished all their work until we could go. So the cashiers were doing their job, getting paid until 7.15, where we were waiting as long as them but only getting paid up until 7. Wouldn't even let us go over the road to the pub on a Friday either!

[Liverpool lad]

Another one is the 'quiet word in the office', I know a lad who was given a warning that was noted on his file for a poor standard of handwriting when passing a note to a member of admin.

[cosmo]

one of the supervisors in the office i used to work used to lock the doors at 5.25 to stop the anyone trying the 5.26 log out 'trick'

 

needless

 

what's this?

 

I have never worked in a clocking in/out place

[Liverpool lad]

I know a lad who was pulled up for making a minor mistake at work, cost the company nothing, it was just slack on his part so management asked him in for a chat.

 

He had to face two of the management, one of which doesn't stop smiling regardless of what you tell her and the other one is a top jobsworth. The lad explained that he has other things on his mind, most noticeably a bereavement and a serious illness in the family. Expecting some compassion, he was told by the company jobsworth that he can leave his problems at the door.