Rate the last film you watched...

[Hand Shandy]

She is indeed. She gets her tits out, and they are cracking!

[Thants]

and here they be! NSFW obviously

 

Lizzy Baplan

[Hand Shandy]

[James Dean]

Shutter Island

 

6/10

 

Disappointing.

[dirty_sanchez]

Office Space

 

A vastly overrated pile of mong dribble.

 

5/10

 

Oh dear.

[Redder Lurtz]

The Magicians - David Mitchell & Robert Webb play two parts of a magic show partnership which falls apart when Mitchell beheads his wife after discovering Webb's been having an affair with her. The two are reunited during a magic competition in Jersey. Good stuff, some peep show-esque laughs. Mitchell basically plays a magic Mark Corrigan. - 7.5/10

 

Paranormal Activity - Not bad. A couple of seriously freaky moments although not really a classic or anything. I'll admit to having slept with the bedroom door shut since watching it. - 6.6/10

 

Couple of bits that annoyed me:

 

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

What was the point of the medium coming round again, only to fuck off again immediately? And for fuck sake, wouldn't you have just gone to see a priest or something?

[Redder Lurtz]

Shutter Island

 

6/10

 

Disappointing.

 

Really? How?

[gazelle]

Four Lions 9/10 - haven't laughed so much at a film since i dont know.

[Hooch]

Nigel And The Big Cheese Pastie. - 8/10

 

Solid thriller. Worth a watch.

[redheart]

Black Death...Sean Bean leading some fellow christians during the plague. THey have heard of a village of godless folks whom the plague has not touched because they are in league with the devil. Hence they ride out to rid the world of them.

 

A surprisingly eery, engaging and intelligent film. 7/10

[Unrighteous]

I love you Phillip Morris - 8/10 (minus 2 for overall gayness) = 6/10

 

If you can make it through ridiculously gay part where even George Michael would blush, then the film turns out to be pretty damn good!

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

The A-Team: 8/10.

 

A really good nod to the past that gave me the same feelings I experienced when watching the original. Outstanding performance from Sharlto Copley as Murdock. Shallow, but ridiculous. Just the same as the TV show, but modernised.

 

Karate Kid: 2/10

 

The cunting fucking shit cunt that is responsible for this needs to get warts up their urethra. Missed out just about everything that we so great about the original. They should all be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. The worst bastardisation of a film I'm ever seen.

[RedBrian84]

The A-Team: 8/10.

 

A really good nod to the past that gave me the same feelings I experienced when watching the original. Outstanding performance from Sharlto Copley as Murdock. Shallow, but ridiculous. Just the same as the TV show, but modernised.

 

Karate Kid: 2/10

 

The cunting fucking shit cunt that is responsible for this needs to get warts up their urethra. Missed out just about everything that we so great about the original. They should all be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. The worst bastardisation of a film I'm ever seen.

 

 

That's really interesting that, I'm really looking foward to both of these reboots of 80's icons, and I thought that the Karate Kid would be the one that made more references to the original than the A Team. Is Karate Kid really that bad?

 

That's disappointing, a real shame.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

That's really interesting that, I'm really looking foward to both of these reboots of 80's icons, and I thought that the Karate Kid would be the one that made more references to the original than the A Team. Is Karate Kid really that bad?

 

That's disappointing, a real shame.

 

Yeah, it is really bad. Actually, it's making me a bit angry how badly they've bent it over and anally raped it.

 

Just one example: The scene in the original where they go to a fancy dress party, the Cobra Kai are wearing those wicked skeleton costumes and Daniel is wearing that shower costume that's designed by Mr. Miyagi so that he can't be spotted by those having a pop at him, then he goes into the toilets and puts the hose over the door? Well, the scene in this one is 'Dre' (new Daniel LaRusso) walking down the street and sees a bucket of water and throws it at this group of lads that is supposed, in some alternative shit world, to represent Johnny and the Cobra Kai lot.

 

I don't want it to be an exact copy, but those things serve purposes. Firstly, they are iconic - that's why, 26 years later, you can still buy them - and they make the film special. Secondly, the whole scene is put in to add to the bond between Miyagi and LaRusso and to build that Daniel is scared of the twats.

 

As for the acting... joke. Chan just spews out Miyagi lines in a monotone voice. 'Dre', not the Dr., is ridiculous. None of the great characters stand out at all. Not even the new Johnny.

 

And you know what, they stretch this shit out for two hours and twenty minutes. There are so many more parts that they missed out on. The only thing I enjoyed was Jackie Chan beating up the kids (their version of Miyagi jumping the fence). It was a good fight scene, but so what, it's bought to have better, more flashy fight scenes. I mean, we're 26 years on.

 

Most of the action is utterly unrealistic, too. The final scene and the version of the crane kick? What a joke, he looks like he is on Dancing on Ice on those fucking stupid flying wires. Ah, fuck me, Brain, I could rant like this for hours.

 

John Kreese is a non-entity in the film, too. You don't recognise any of the members of their version of Cobra Kai. The 'relationship' with the girl is shite, and because their so young (11/12) it doesn't have the same teenage feel of the original.

 

It's a karaoke version. It's Jedward on the X-factor. Actually, at least they were entertaining whilst defecating through the microphone.

 

The original writer has a writing credit - not for the screenplay, but for the story - but I don't know how much input he had. Whoever it is, they fucked it.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

On a side note, I read everything you write in the voice of Ardal O'Hanlan.

 

'Is it really that bad, Ted'.

[Mendoza]

Karate Kid has battered The A-Team at the box office

 

Weekend Box Office Results for June 11-13, 2010 - Box Office Mojo

[Unrighteous]

The Original Karate Kid is fucking ace... and its retarded that they decided to remake it. How do they redo perfection?

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

The Original Karate Kid is fucking ace... and its retarded that they decided to remake it. How do they redo perfection?

 

Exactly.

 

I understand the want for another movie like that, because it's so fucking good. I'd have preferred to watch Ralph Macchio take on the Miyagi role and teach somebody else, rather than this sorry excuse. Doesn't help that there isn't Karate in it, either.

 

RottenTomatoes.com has got it completely wrong, too. They've given The A-Team 52% (top critics 47%) and the RT community has given it 87%. Although, there's some shit being talked about Karate Kid, too. It's just in the other direction - saying people were standing up and clapping at the end. Fuck off. I nearly cried.

 

 

Okay, I didn't. I did huff and roll my eyes, though.

[Elite]

They should leave the classics alone.

 

I am suprised they haven't remade The Goonies and Stand By Me yet.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

They should leave the classics alone.

 

I am suprised they haven't remade The Goonies and Stand By Me yet.

 

SHHHHHHHH. Don't tempt fate.

 

BeetleJuice? Flight of the Navigator? D.A.R.Y.L? Is nothing sacred?

[Mendoza]

[YOUTUBE]9u8vZwvP57Y[/YOUTUBE]

 

:whistle:

[loadsoftrophies]

I'm going to sweep that mutha fuckin remakes leg.

[Lucky Pierre]

Killers - Oh my god. I urge nobody to watch this, no matter why you are thinking of it. My life was better before it.

 

2/10 - one point each for Heigl's jugs.

[Unrighteous]

Call me a Predator fanboy but that film looks pimp.

[The Dude Abides]

No surprise that the Karate Kid is muck.

 

They really don't make them like they used to huh? Everything now in comparison seems so fucking cynical and sanitized. Kids might still sit and watch such shite and be happy enough with it, but I know for a fact that my parents enjoyed watching those iconic kids movies we had growing up.