Going to work pissed

[Remmie]

Have you ever done it? I did it once, at a call centre on my last day. I had about 5 pints on my lunch and gave myself about 4 breaks to sneak a quick one in. The company was closing down a few weeks later so it was one where I could get away with pretty much anything. Vaguely remember joking away with some old dear about her credit card!!!

[moof]

I've done it a couples of times, gone out on the pop and rocked up to work after just a cold shower and a top up. I actually do my job better if I've got a few drinks down me, the ideas just seem to flow.

 

In an old job the boss used to bring a bottle of vodka if we were working into the small hours. Couple of shots sparked us right up.

[razor]

A lad I know worked with a Head of Department in a school. They were being Ofsted inspected, so the day before it was due to start he went round to my mate's house to get the departmental paperwork up to date. It was one of those "Super Sunday" days where they have two big games on. They went to the pub "just to watch the first half".

 

They ended up staying out all night.

 

The next morning the Head of Department met with the school's senior management team and the lead inspector to discuss the protocols of the inspection. This bloke took one look/whiff of him and sent him home as unfit to be in the charge of children.

 

In an Ofsted week the Head of Maths lasted til 8.35 on the first day.

 

I should have added that he was a raging alcoholic who regularly kipped in his car on the school car park. My mate knew exactly what would happen the moment his bell rang that Sunday morning.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Oh aye tons of times,there used to be a pub chain called Thirkin (late 90s) and as a promotional exercise they were doing quite smart rugby tops free after 7 pints of dogbolter ale,strong ol gear,a pal and me got one each in our lunch break! But it has to be said it was accepted 80s into 90s,being pissed on a Friday afternoon the norm,our office even had an on site bar! These days? Not a great idea!

[moof]

A lad I know worked with a Head of Department in a school. They were being Ofsted inspected, so the day before it was due to start he went round to my mate's house to get the departmental paperwork up to date. It was one of those "Super Sunday" days where they have two big games on. They went to the pub "just to watch the first half".

 

They ended up staying out all night.

 

The next morning the Head of Department met with the school's senior management team and the lead inspector to discuss the protocols of the inspection. This bloke took one look/whiff of him and sent him home as unfit to be in the charge of children.

 

In an Ofsted week the Head of Maths lasted til 8.35 on the first day.

 

I should have added that he was a raging alcoholic who regularly kipped in his car on the school car park. My mate knew exactly what would happen the moment his bell rang that Sunday morning.

 

Colleague of my missus (a teacher) was fucking chronic. He looked exactly like Bernard Black, including the drink problem. He fails to turn up for work 3 days in a row once and when asked where he's been he says he was stuck in traffic! For three fucking days. She left that school but I think that fella is still working there, somehow.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

This has all the hallmarks of being a class thread!

[TheBitch]

I used to turn up pissed most Monday mornings between 1998 and 2008. See also Saturday and Sunday if we had to work weekends. People have picked me up for work straight from other peoples houses. I'm not proud of this fact. Well alright, a little bit, mainly because I managed to avoid being sacked for 10 years.

 

I'll add to this thread later.

[Bjornebye]

Countless times especially when I worked in a call-centre. We used to work every other Saturday and some of the states me and the team used to come in where awful. Quite a few times as the manager i've had people back at my house and left still partying to go to work for 9 with no sleep.

Always had a great sales day when we were like that too!

 

One of the worst was when i was in the Navy though and we did a big officers summer ball at HMS Nelson officers mess. Me and some of the other chef's were banging a few of the wren stewards working in the marquee and we asked them to sly loads of wine for us for when we all finished. The fucking nutters swiped loads of port as well so we all ended up in this staff room getting fucking smashed. Next thing it was about 6 in the morning and i'm sat with this vase full of port on my lap smashed out my mind and one of the lads (older fella used to this shit - I was only 19) said right then lets get up to the galley. I'd completely forgot we were duty breakfast that morning.

Fuck me, the galley was a state, I was sick about 4 times and we were all just falling asleep. the duty PO came in the kitchen, took one look at us and just fucked right off out shaking his head.

It was bad. Thank fuck no officers came in to thank us for the night before like they used too. Mind you, they were all probably just as rough. Cunts.

 

Oh and the worst thing about getting up for work still smashed is trying to get out the house before a song comes on that makes you decide to crack open another beer and fuck work off for a few days.

I nearly lost my job a couple of years ago for disappearing for 4 days and going back in blagging that I had booked it off and they were in the wrong.

[razor]

Colleague of my missus (a teacher) was fucking chronic. He looked exactly like Bernard Black, including the drink problem. He fails to turn up for work 3 days in a row once and when asked where he's been he says he was stuck in traffic! For three fucking days. She left that school but I think that fella is still working there, somehow.

 

Haha - the Head of Maths didn't get sacked either. Amazing.

[dickie mint]

A couple of years ago worked with a cracking gang of lads putting the consevatory bases in (floors / walls) all over Liverpool,we where always on the piss but on Thursdays we would go on it all night,bladderd Friday morning and straight the Pirrie club at half nine till we fell out in the night,mind you the

lad we worked for was sound and loved the Ale,happy days.

The Ale and the building go hand in hand and we're always on it.

[Carradona]

I was finishing up during my last week of work in Liverpool last year and myself and a few of the office people went out for lunch. We ended up going to the pub for 2 hours (we all worked flexi hours) and had about 5 or 6 pints, or a few glasses of wine. Got back to the office and I spent the remaining 3 hours of the afternoon chasing the MILF around the office and flirting away with her.

[gazelle]

Many, many, many times

i've subsequently sobered up and really dont know how i managed it for all those years - when i say pissed i mean steaming.

Glad i sorted that shit out.

[Pureblood]

No, hmmmkay.

[VladimirIlyich]

Oh aye tons of times' date='there used to be a pub chain called Thirkin (late 90s) and as a promotional exercise they were doing quite smart rugby tops free after 7 pints of dogbolter ale,strong ol gear,a pal and me got one each in our lunch break! But it has to be said it was accepted 80s into 90s,being pissed on a Friday afternoon the norm,our office even had an on site bar! These days? Not a great idea![/quote']

 

Reminds me of when I did some work experience in the Guinness bottling plant in the early 80s.

 

In the works canteen there were 3 types of cold drinks workers and drivers(! )could help themselves to at dinner time (this means 12 noon to about 2pm here in the north west) they were; 1.Chilled Orange Juice 2.Harp Lager and 3. Guinness.

[Captain Turdseye]

You need to fuck the ale off and go to work with an eighth of speed. Increased productivity, no need to spend money on lunch and home on your push bike in half the time it would normally take.

 

You'll feel shit for 4 days afterwards but that's beside the point.

[Captain Turdseye]

In all seriousness, I've been sent home from jobs with stinking hangovers (vomiting, bit of the shakes, etc) but I've never attempted to work after a session without having at least 2 or 3 hours sleep first. It's much easier to just ring in sick.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Where's the fun( or challenge) ringing in sick?

[Captain Turdseye]

Where's the fun( or challenge) ringing in sick?

 

The fun is when you carry on drinking instead of, you know, going to work.

[zigackly]

You need to fuck the ale off and go to work with an eighth of speed. Increased productivity, no need to spend money on lunch and home on your push bike in half the time it would normally take.

 

You'll feel shit for 4 days afterwards but that's beside the point.

 

Once went into work after a weekend on the billy, and I was so physically fucked that steam was coming off my hands. It was a cold day, in fairness.

 

We used to always get pissed on Friday dinnertimes and come back stupidly late. Trick is to make sure your manager's on the ale too. Then everyone in the IT industry got even more boring and all that shit stopped. Last couple of places I worked, it was difficult to even get anyone to go out for a pint.

 

Now I'm the boring one, as I don't even drink.

[Major Tom]

Every Friday we used to have 2 hours for lunch and as many pints as we could fit in that time.

 

It was funny at the time.

[Son of L8]

About ten years ago, I was doing a lot of waitering and bartending to make ends meet. This isn't quite the point of the thread, but one New Years I was working in the restaurant of a posh dining club where the NYE tradition was for the staff to play their version of Wobbly Waiter. This is where a server, whenever he/she delivers a round of drinks to a table, is required to get one down their neck before being allowed to walk away, and the guests have to pay for the staff's drinking all night. So with 6 tables to serve, and everyone drinking like it's ... well, New Year's Eve ... That amounted to anywhere from 6-12 shots per hour.

 

Never been that wrecked in my life. While serving desserts, I got dizzy and dumped a chocolate sabayon down the front of some old bird's dress. I recall one of the busboys vomiting out of an open window, and our manager wandering around the dining room barefoot trying to find her shoes. The guests were just as pissed as we were, though, and they thought it was hilarious.

 

It was a great New Years, actually, because we drank for free and nobody cared if we fucked up, until we all had to go back and serve brunch the next morning...

[Pony Princess]

About six years ago, I got into a bit of a rut (well, the rut lasted about a year) of going home from work that I didn't like and getting shitfaced, then getting up for work at 7am and motorbiking 25 miles to Warrington still drunk. Never had a scratch and that fresh air really shakes you awake when you are doing 90 on the M57, air twatting your face off the motorbike visor and then filtering through the Runcorn Bridge.

 

I don't do that anymore but I look back and think, hmmm, crazy sumbitch. Not sure how I used to do it. These days I can barely drag my sorry arse out of bed for the train into town if I've had a few too many.

[zigackly]

Not sure how I used to do it.

 

The invulnerability of youth.

[Pony Princess]

The invulnerability of youth.

 

I was 27 at the time. Oh those halcyon days.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Used to regularly do the Friday 6 by 6, 6 pints in 6 pubs in 60 minutes then back to work.

 

Interviewing while stinking like a brewery.