I need to get me a career.

[Captain Turdseye]

Some of you will remember I packed my job in the other week. It was the first job I found when I moved down south last summer, it was shit and I'm better off out of it. I've been looking and there's only minimum wage jobs around here and I'm loathe to go into one. I've done it plenty of times in the past although I've also had much better payed, albeit still relatively unskilled jobs whilst living up north. Jaguar, etc.

 

Mrs Turdseye has suggested I go to college and do something that I want to do, things will be tough with a baby nearly here but it's better in the long run. She's got a point. I started a B-Tech in IT when I left school but wasn't into it at all and ended up jibbing it off to go and work in factories and other such shit.

 

The thing is, I haven't got the first clue what I want to do with my working life so I'm throwing it out there to the GF to fling some ideas at me. What do y'all do? What careers could I find a bit of enjoyment in? How long would I have to study for? How much could I earn?

 

I'm prepared for the comedy answers, (Sugar Ape, I'm looking at you, you twat) but I'm also hoping for some serious answers. Cheers.

[Captain Turdseye]

So far I've narrowed it down to two. Babysitter and bramble picker.

[s(k)aturation]

Ship's Captain.

Parrot trainer.

Kids frozen food icon.

[ph245]

Well Captain, the Government are throwing millions at the railway ... ever thought of becoming a train driver or something else involving the railway.... support, logistics etc..?

The money's really good.

 

I'm looking at it after next March... gotta wait till then for the redundancy money !

[Elmyn Noos]

Whatever you do, do it self-employed. If you're looking long-term, you might as well do it properly. You'll never earn as much money working for someone else, and despite common misconceptions, you have more job security as a self-employed as your future is in your own hands, not some blert who may sack you to save a wage regardless of how hard you've worked. Honestly, I'd be a window-cleaner before I went back on someone's payroll.

[Magic Sponge]

Join the Army.

 

I've never looked back, well only at corpses.

[mrw74]

I made the transition from accountancy to education about 11 years ago and never looked back, better holidays and working conditions. Sometimes its a pain in the arse, but aren't all jobs.

[s(k)aturation]

Whatever you do, do it self-employed. If you're looking long-term, you might as well do it properly. You'll never earn as much money working for someone else, and despite common misconceptions, you have more job security as a self-employed as your future is in your own hands, not some blert who may sack you to save a wage regardless of how hard you've worked. Honestly, I'd be a window-cleaner before I went back on someone's payroll.

 

It took me over 40 years to realise this, probably too long, but how you can have your own employment in the hands of some other twat's judgment/discretion and somehow call that "job security" is socially-conditioned delusion.

[Tossed and blown]

I really wouldn't want to work in an industry where I was trying to sell something to somebody who didn't really want it. I have an ace job which I wouldn't change a lot and I'm now in a position where clients come to me largely on recommendation so I don't have to consciously 'sell' as much. If I was going to do something else then I reckon I'd look at something with a physical element like building trade, spark, plumber etc. Train then find and old boy to help for a few years then take over when he retires, this seems to happen a lot. A good mate of mine worked in IT and computers for 20 years then got fucked off with the backstabbing and brown nosing and retrained as a sparky - he loves it, but did say there's a lot more crawling through lofts than looking at circuit diagrams.

Agree with noos about the self-employed bit too.

 

Otherwise look for something that's secure or a growth industry. Train driver looks a good shout, decent money but could be boring? Something to do with sustainable energy like fitting log burners?

[Captain Turdseye]

I've just looked into train driving, there are more than 300 applications for each trainee position. Other railway jobs are certainly something I'll look into. I was also thinking about going on the rigs but if I'm going to train to do something, I'd like to really be moving away from hard manual labour. 4 weeks on/4 weeks off is not what I want to be doing either.

[ph245]

300 to 1 eh ?

Well, somebody has to be that '1' !

 

I will be looking harder into the railways in the coming months too.... let's see what we can come up with.

I'm based in Oxfordshire now, so it's pretty central.

[Tossed and blown]

Rigs is shit. Two weeks of 12 hour shifts and well thumbed jazz mags. People just do it for a few years to build some money then fuck it off.

 

The helicopter pilots who ferry you on and off aren't exactly the cream of the aviation industry either.

[Nightcat]

Whatever you do, do it self-employed. If you're looking long-term, you might as well do it properly. You'll never earn as much money working for someone else, and despite common misconceptions, you have more job security as a self-employed as your future is in your own hands, not some blert who may sack you to save a wage regardless of how hard you've worked. Honestly, I'd be a window-cleaner before I went back on someone's payroll.

 

So true.

[Thomo123]

I've just looked into train driving' date=' there are more than 300 applications for each trainee position. Other railway jobs are certainly something I'll look into. I was also thinking about going on the rigs but if I'm going to train to do something, I'd like to really be moving away from hard manual labour. 4 weeks on/4 weeks off is not what I want to be doing either.[/quote']

 

Offshore work is ridiculously hard to get into if you don't know somebody in the industry. However they do seem to be recruiting at the min. I work offshore, albeit on Windturbines. I love it, great holidays a decent salary but you'll struggle to get in without some sort of trade behind you.

[john23liverpool]

I work offshore and I love it. Six months off a year is hard to beat. The money is hard to beat aswell. It's easier if you know someone who can get you in, and it's easier if you have a trade but persistence is the key. If you keep trying you will eventually get a start.

[TheHowieLama]

Two off the top of my head:

 

Start a catering company.

 

Get a rich father.

 

Hope that helps.

[Pony Princess]

Buy women's shoes and sell them as 'used' to sickos on the internet.

[Captain Turdseye]

Buy women's shoes and sell them as 'used' to sickos on the internet.

 

What if the inside lining in them is all grey?

[Pony Princess]

What if the inside lining in them is all grey?

 

The dirtier, the better I imagine. 'Smelly twink jock trainers USED Hot xxxx' didn't deter si.

[Sugar Ape]

You seem ideally suited to this mate Fluffer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[JohnnyH]

Personal Shopper

Astroturf inspector

Surgeon

Priest

Surgical Priest

Superhero

Cat juggler

Farm hand

Human centipede detacher

Shop assistant

Contract killer

Showtunes band conductor

Pony trapper

Librarian

Cunt

Fisherman

Secret Agent

Photocopier maintenance supervisor

[dickie mint]

Father Christmas.

[TheHowieLama]

Mother Nature

[Champ]

Can you narrow it down at all?

Have you done any of those 'what king of career/job would I be suited to' questionnaire thingies?

[Captain Turdseye]

Can you narrow it down at all?

Have you done any of those 'what king of career/job would I be suited to' questionnaire thingies?

 

No. I'll do one of them later. The result will probably be 'stay at home'