Corporate bellendary at work.

[Mook]

On 04/08/2023 at 15:00, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

The thing about all this is the higher you get the less it affects you, you start revelling in the nonsense knowing your'e getting a fat salary and inflicting misery on the minions, I genuinely make myself cringe sometimes when I host stuff, but ultimately if you choose this kind of career that's what comes with it.

 

 

apologies to any minions reading this.

 

Apology not accepted.

[lifetime fan]

My day just got so much better. 
 

Proper spit and sawdust old school boozer  and a very cold pint that ain’t gonna touch the sides. 

[Bob]

We’ve got a new travel booking platform.

 

I got to my hotel for tonight at 2:30 to be told I wasn’t booked in and they are full.

 

checked my emails, received one from the travel booking company at 11pm last night saying the hotel was fully booked (I’d made my booking request mid afternoon and it wasn’t fully booked then) but another 5 miles down the road was available; while I also had another from them at 8am saying my booking was confirmed and in place.

 

fuckwits.

 

im now somewhere else entirely, meaning tomorrows travel plans (the reason I’d picked the first hotel) are now a pain in the arse.

 

thats 3 out of 4 hotel bookings there’s been a problem with, and I’m pretty certain a fuck up on a flight I’ve booked for the end of the month.

 

all absolutely shit, making life harder not easier, using more time not less and making you feel less empowered and less valued as an employee, but no doubt saving a bit of cash.

[Creator Supreme]

5 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

I’m sat in trap 3 having a crap and playing golf clash when two twats come in and are chatting about the recruitment fair. 
 

‘I think It’s been a really good day’

 

’Yeah me too, I don’t think we’ve got any potential recruits but we’ve really super smashed the social media angle’. 
 

‘Absolutely. What I really love is how the organic presence has developed’. 
 

I’m wiping my arse and packing up, fuck this, I can’t take it anymore. 

And our main story on BBC South West tonight, 2 men have been found drowned in a toilet at a recruitment fair in Exeter today!

 

Both were found shortly after 1pm face down in toilet bowls with faecal matter in their mouths, and a notice scrawled on the mirror also with faecal matter stating 'Fuck you all to hell you Gen Z gobshites!'.

 

Police are currently looking for a rotund ginger man in his early 40's, allegedly with a Bristol accent!

[Creator Supreme]

Double post.

[lifetime fan]

On 09/08/2023 at 18:14, Creator Supreme said:

And our main story on BBC South West tonight, 2 men have been found drowned in a toilet at a recruitment fair in Exeter today!

 

Both were found shortly after 1pm face down in toilet bowls with faecal matter in their mouths, and a notice scrawled on the mirror also with faecal matter stating 'Fuck you all to hell you Gen Z gobshites!'.

 

Police are currently looking for a rotund ginger man in his early 40's, allegedly with a Bristol accent!

Outstanding! 

[lifetime fan]

I feel like Henry Chinaski at the moment.
 

I’m covering three branches and my bosses role, was working till 12 at home last night, knocked a pint over my laptop killing it and have another fucking recruitment fair in Torquay tomorrow. 
 

I wanted to get out of the car and smack some cunt because he didn’t indicate earlier. This isn’t healthy. 

[Creator Supreme]

You need a break Col, not healthy all that stress mate.

[Mook]

I'm trying to think if there's any way possible for something to sound worse than a recruitment fair in Torquay.

[Remmie]

55 minutes ago, Mook said:

I'm trying to think if there's any way possible for something to sound worse than a recruitment fair in Torquay.

Sales conference in Bolton

[Mook]

16 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Sales conference in Bolton

 

You are seriously fucked up.

[Bruce Spanner]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

I'm trying to think if there's any way possible for something to sound worse than a recruitment fair in Torquay.

Team weekend away in a Watford Village Hotel.

[lifetime fan]

46 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Team weekend away in a Watford Village Hotel.

Please God tell me you didn’t have to do that?! 

[Bruce Spanner]

11 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Please God tell me you didn’t have to do that?! 

My life is complicated. 

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

 

You are seriously fucked up.

I haven't actually done that, it just happened to be the worst thing I could conjour up. 

 

I have been to a work Christmas party in Bolton which featured getting punched in the face, but I reckon a sales conference might be even worse

[lifetime fan]

8 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

My life is complicated. 

I’d rather end my life. 

[cloggypop]

I worked in a record shop in Skelmersdale once upon a time. We had a work night out in Wigan because they were all bad wools. Left early. 

[lifetime fan]

18 hours ago, Mook said:

I'm trying to think if there's any way possible for something to sound worse than a recruitment fair in Torquay.

 

17 hours ago, Remmie said:

Sales conference in Bolton

 

16 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Team weekend away in a Watford Village Hotel.

Recruitment fair in Torquay when the local tory MP turns up and wants to talk to you? 

[Remmie]

22 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

 

 

Recruitment fair in Torquay when the local tory MP turns up and wants to talk to you? 

I'm sure that went well for them

[redinblack]

I remember a place I worked at years ago, they did a christmas team building thing in office hours. everybody had to wear a christmas jumper ( I didnt), and do a turn of some sorts ( I refused). One of the accounts payables managers did the "12 days of christmas" on a payables theme "12 cheques a clearing, 11-invoices posted etc etc " all the way through, to stunned silence. I was hyper ventilating by the end, it was just so stunningly embarrasing.

[Creator Supreme]

2 minutes ago, redinblack said:

I remember a place I worked at years ago, they did a christmas team building thing in office hours. everybody had to wear a christmas jumper ( I didnt), and do a turn of some sorts ( I refused). One of the accounts payables managers did the "12 days of christmas" on a payables theme "12 cheques a clearing, 11-invoices posted etc etc " all the way through, to stunned silence. I was hyper ventilating by the end, it was just so stunningly embarrasing.

Forced fun! Sickening, I've hated it ever since I've started working. Had some spectacular arguments and disagreements about it over the years.

 

Nearly got myself disciplined over it in the past!

 

Anybody who comes up with that shite should be fed through a wood chipper!

[redinblack]

Just now, Creator Supreme said:

Forced fun! Sickening, I've hated it ever since I've started working. Had some spectacular arguments and disagreements about it over the years.

 

Nearly got myself disciplined over it in the past!

 

Anybody who comes up with that shite should be fed through a wood chipper!

As far as I can, I swerve them. Being an independent contractor definitely helps. That and people thinking I'm a cunt anyway.

[Creator Supreme]

4 minutes ago, redinblack said:

As far as I can, I swerve them. Being an independent contractor definitely helps. That and people thinking I'm a cunt anyway.

I've contracted in the past, and funnily enough it was the places that didn't do as much forced fun which were the better places to work, and also had the people working there I was much happier to go for a couple of pints with.

 

Edit: I too am a cunt!

[Jose Jones]

6 minutes ago, redinblack said:

I remember a place I worked at years ago, they did a christmas team building thing in office hours. everybody had to wear a christmas jumper ( I didnt), and do a turn of some sorts ( I refused). One of the accounts payables managers did the "12 days of christmas" on a payables theme "12 cheques a clearing, 11-invoices posted etc etc " all the way through, to stunned silence. I was hyper ventilating by the end, it was just so stunningly embarrasing.

Once upon a time when I worked for the foreign office the boss encouraged people to write a Christmas themed poem for the Christmas party. One of the old fellas did a whole adapted ‘‘twas the Night Before Christmas’ name checking boring stuff from the office.

 

I did Jingle Bells that started off “Jingle Bells Cameron Smells, William Hague is Gay…” still quite proud of it.

[Creator Supreme]

4 minutes ago, Jose Jones said:

Once upon a time when I worked for the foreign office the boss encouraged people to write a Christmas themed poem for the Christmas party. One of the old fellas did a whole adapted ‘‘twas the Night Before Christmas’ name checking boring stuff from the office.

 

I did Jingle Bells that started off “Jingle Bells Cameron Smells, William Hague is Gay…” still quite proud of it.

I should have done one like Father Ted's Golden Cleric acceptance speech...

 

 

 

"....and now we move on to liars!"