Stupid things women say

[Bogman]

we had sex last month

[Trumo]

Inbred?

 

Redneck?

 

 

Bloody witchhunt!

 

My folks are from Gujarat, where a lot of people refer to cousins as cousin sister or cousin brother, rather than the generic term "Cousin". I don't consider it stupid, neither am I a woman.

[Lucky Pierre]

That's in Shropshire isn't it?

[Alan Sex]

[Original202]

 

I see you. And I raise you:

 

[YOUTUBE]OOvqF4ZPDNM[/YOUTUBE]

[Remmie]

That Independent women song by that horendi Destiny's Beyonce-child is the epitome of irony for my 2 pence:

 

The house I live in- I bought it!

The car I'm drivin'- I bought it!

 

etc.

 

Completely undermines female achievement as it's making out that normal shit like buying your own stuff is in some way an astonishing achievement to 'she with clunge'. Especially when you consider that they basically show off for a living and don't have a job in the real world.

 

She may as well sing: 'I can dress myself, buy my own sausage'.

[Mel Wood]

The girl I was going out with at the time suggested buying Michael Jackson's song 'Liberian Girl' for her mum, because her mum's birthday was in early October.

 

...

 

:wow:

 

One I read about was a bird who asked her boyfriend whether the figures on Mt Rushmore occurred naturally or not.

 

Again

 

:wow:

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Me: whats for dinner love?

 

Her: well everything in the freezer is frozen.

 

Priceless.

[Trumo]

That Independent women song by that horendi Destiny's Beyonce-child is the epitome of irony for my 2 pence:

 

The house I live in- I bought it!

The car I'm drivin'- I bought it!

 

etc.

 

Completely undermines female achievement as it's making out that normal shit like buying your own stuff is in some way an astonishing achievement to 'she with clunge'. Especially when you consider that they basically show off for a living and don't have a job in the real world.

 

She may as well sing: 'I can dress myself, buy my own sausage'.

 

 

Word!

 

She buys her own diamonds and her own rings. So no need to drag my arse out on a shopping trip.

[Original202]

In the pub this afternoon and my mate's bird discussing credit card fraud:

 

"I'm not worried about credit card fraud or identity theft. I cut my card up to stop me wasting money and to prevent fraud"

 

"What if someone stole your details online and entered in your number?"

 

"Well the card wouldn't work as I cut up the card, including the chip inside it"

[She Knows It]

Not a woman, but a stupid thing nonetheless.

 

I went into the bathroom just after my son had had a bath and found a massive pool of water on the floor, yet again. I called him back in.

 

Me: Look at that. *points at Lake Bala on the floor*. You've got to start being more careful. Every time you get a bath there's gallons of water on the floor, and it's going to start coming through the ceiling.

 

Him: *looks up* The ceiling?? How did it get up there!?

[Unrighteous]

In the pub this afternoon and my mate's bird discussing credit card fraud:

 

"I'm not worried about credit card fraud or identity theft. I cut my card up to stop me wasting money and to prevent fraud"

 

"What if someone stole your details online and entered in your number?"

 

"Well the card wouldn't work as I cut up the card, including the chip inside it"

 

Bwahahahahahaha!!!!

[Alan Sex]

[Melchett]

My girlfriend said I should let my feminine side show a bit more often. So I reversed the car into a bus stop, shouted at her for no reason, spent two hours in the bathroom - coming out looking exactly the same as I did when I went in - and checked her entire text inbox.

She wasn't amused.

[Melchett]

My girlfriend said she thought I was sweet.Hopefully later tonight she is going to find out I am actually pretty salty.

[Faustus]

Thought I'd bump this after something my sister said earlier tonight:

 

I was flicking through the telly and we came across the start of one of the Harry Potter films on ITV. She turns to me and says "I really liked the first three Harry Potter films, but after that they just got a bit farfetched."

 

Oh right, so the idea of a lad going off to wizard school via a train that departs from an invisible platform is all within the realms of belief then?

[Stouffer]

Who's Jimmy Page?

[Guest simon]

Dont know but its been said but "It's on the side is one".

[Trumo]

Dont know but its been said but "It's on the side is one".

 

Searching Google Translator and Babelfish, in the absence of woman.

[Guest simon]

Searching Google Translator and Babelfish, in the absence of woman.

 

"It's on the side" Haha i fucked up again.

[Johnni]

We had a guy come round to measure our living room to install some radiators. we were discussing where to put them and decided to put one of them behind where our sofa lies. My sister then said we can't as the sofa will block the heat. We explained that its a convection radiator and that it does'nt matter. I dont think she knew even then what we were on about.

My other dopey sister came to visit and asked where we are putting them and she said the same thing as my other sister.

[kelster]

We're abroad at the moment, and my missus shows a friend our house on Google streetview. She came to me later panicking saying that she had left the windows open.

[VladimirIlyich]

I said to my missus that the word gullible is not in the dictionary,'well it should be' she said!

[Fowlers God]

Mrs FG told me to fuck off-*

 

Well thats her not getting any for a fortnight now, **does gay turn away thing**

 

* She didnt, just incredibly bored at work....... been here for 13 hour now and feeling like shite!

[silverlining]

Mrs FG told me to fuck off-*

 

Well thats her not getting any for a fortnight now, **does gay turn away thing**

 

* She didnt, just incredibly bored at work....... been here for 13 hour now and feeling like shite!

 

yeah