Leaderboard

No new infection here on the faroe islands for the last 24 hours, wonderful news. It started hard here compared to population but the government have acted perfectly so far.

Raab currently shitting it and looking at a map of the UK trying to memorise the names of major cities.

Wild animals everywhere thinking ‘this is fucking great, we’ve got our country back’.....

He has to be careful here. Too critical, without constructive input, and he may inadvertently raise support for Johnson; agree to cross party talks/cooperation, and he risks being tied to flawed policy. It may seem like an easy open goal, but his response here needs to be both measured, constructive, and hold the government to account. Could be trickier than it initially seems.

The business closures will last as long as they will because we have failed with this virus control since day 1. We have had at no point the ability to test enough people, so the virus was able to run wild. It run wild because the government wanted it to. We had an opportunity to stop people travelling in from high risk zones and refused to take it - our match against athletico Madrid being an example of that, when those same Spanish fans wouldn't have been allowed into a stadium in their own country, we allowed them to fly here, drink in our pubs and then take it to the stadium. This was allowed because the government wanted the virus to spread with their herd immunity plan. The NHS are having to refuse to see people who have this virus because they don't have the staff (partly due to self isolation, partly due to 10 ywars of austerity) or the equipment (testing kits and at times beds) to identify who has or hasn't contracted the virus. So every cough or temperature leads to a complete 14 day lock down, even for front line workers and their entire household, even if nothing is wrong with them. A test would negate the need for this. The length and the severity of this lockdown is 100% down to government strategy. The football clubs are making their decisions right now to a back drop of an expectation the earliest they may start playing football is June and that is likely behind closed doors - and this is seen as best case. When we locked down, there was an expectation of just weeks, in fact I recall the prime minister saying 3 weeks and at the time football was planning to restart at the end of April. The government has fucked this up at every turn, going back to 10 years of austerity and their ignoring of reports that we were under prepared for a pandemic. They delayed stopping people from high risk countries coming here and deployed a strategy that was ridiculed globally. The lockdown will be as long and as deep because of government incompetence and that in turn hits the economy longer and harder, football too. But the Tories don't want you talking about that, they want you talking about how rotten to the core football is rather than look at their failings. Hancock wanted to change the news discussion and he's succeeded. Today even Andrew Marr has been discussing it on his show, with a segment dedicated to fucking Gary Lineaker. This is not a football issue, this is an issue of government failure.

This is taken from a US TV show... but very good nonetheless.

That was one of the most feared thing about getting the BCG. Not the injection itself but knowing you were going to go through a week of being punched in the arm.

Actually, fuck him. He’s become part of his own herd immunity experiment, so he can take his chances like every other poor bastard.

And then he will start to pick up nicely

It was a decent speech, to be fair. Needed a bit more about just cancelling the league and giving us the title though.

Cuuuuuunnnnnnnntttttttttttt!

If you are capable of getting to the shop then do so and shop sensibly. If you are booking a delivery in during this just because you are a lazy bastard then you are a fucking gobshite. People should do their bit no matter how big or small to help those elderly or vulnerable. You might think one little delivery of food because its convenient won't matter, well guess what, it fucking does. Amen.

Choose shite

Cunt wants the fat end ay a pool cue square in his puss fir that shite.

Marksie's Kippers, with some toast and a soft boiled egg, this morning. Should've got some piccs, but you will have to take my word on it when I say it was absolutely lovely.

We will know if he suggests only half an hour a day.

As pathetic as the weak ass shit justification the club tried putting out. Thai isn’t a ‘grey area’. Anyone with any fucking decency knows this is fucking outrageous and the owners are complete cunts.

I wasn't sure about BBQ Pringles, but getting "a meat box delivered" is definitely a euphemism.

Based on replies to my tweet about this, the defence seems to be that because the club pays tax they're entitled to do this. Another argument is that there are wealthier businesses doing the same and some of those aren't even paying the 20%. All of that is true, but just because they can do something, and just because others are doing it, doesn't mean they SHOULD do it and it doesn't fucking make it ok. It's appalling and I'm ashamed. A few days ago we were all ripping Spurs and Mike Ashley, as well as Branson, that Wetherspoons nonce and all the other fuckers. Then our club does this. And for what? It's literally peanuts in the grand scheme of things, especially if the players are going to be taking a 30% cut. All this bad PR just to save a few hundred grand. Makes me sick.

I've done a deal with Saltaire Brewery. They're delivering me 9g casks of ale; I've sourced a supply of one gallon containers and I'm pouring beer into them and delivering to doorstep across Leeds and Bradford £25 a gallon. They pay me via PayPal and I deliver wearing a fresh pair of blue gloves every time. I'm absolutely fucking snowed under with orders. Brilliant to see how chuffed people are when they open the door and see a gallon of freshly poured IPA on their doorstep and it's keeping me well busy.

I've just had a bowl of Frosties. Do I need to phone 111?

Fuck sake! I thought animals couldn't get it. Does that mean we also now have to practice social distancing from tigers as well?

Carole Baskins is behind this.

Putting to one side the schadenfreude aspect of Johnson's illness , it proves that the 7 day isolation is cobblers. It can hang around far, longer in some cases , the wife is 18 days in and still poorly.

Came home from work on Friday night bout 11p.m.,my work has split our workforce into 2 shifts now, and she was on that house party app from then to 2.30am with 6 of her friends and not one coherent fact, or sentence even, was uttered in that whole time! Twas just incessant,inane chatter. Near 5 hours of it. Longest I've spent on the phone to the lads was 5 mins. I've never video phoned any of them. They could use it as torture in Guantanamo. Different species they are

I'd make her Shadow Minister of Jess Phillips. She'd love it. Important role. Very popular with the public.

I think she's a motor mouth who'll be more easily contained inside the shadow cabinet than outside. She's one of the biggest threats to labour as she doesn't give 2 fucks when she opens her mouth. Putting her in the shadow cabinet would hopefully nullify her ability to sabotage the party. It's not always about picking the best person, it's how you manage the whole group. It's not like he can give her a bosman is it and hope the libdems come in for her?

Negged, can't stand that expression

I don't think it's a good look at at all and they will rightfully go back on it but football clubs in general don't make much profit so this was always going to be exploited. They seem to be held to a higher standard than other businesses and it's fairly ridiculous that they get more shit than others.

When you’re trying to use the likes of McDonalds, Mike Ashley or Phillip Green to justify your point... You know your argument is morally bankrupt.

I fully expect supporters of McDonalds to be upon arms too! Justify to me Adam Lallana taking home over 100k a week while we are asking the government to pay the ladies who cook their meals after training? Go on try and fucking justify that.

Man City have announced the tax payers of Abu Dhabi will be paying their staff rather than UK tax payers.

I think you're mixing up Lords with Sirs. Title of Lord can be passed down through the family, so they're likely to be exclusively Tories. Sir is a title awarded to an individual, you can't inherit it, you need to earn it (whether most if them deserve it is another story). So there's a chance of there being a few good eggs in that bunch who have gained the title through altruistic means.

They're mostly fine. There's been a few that cottoned on to the 5G masts being alien mind control devices and they burned a few of them down, but most of the flock have dismissed that and they're still inside staring at their screens oblivious. Hail Hydra.

Love a good kipper.

Nice one, cheers. I seen he was playing the two Mansun albums & I used to really like them so will keep an eye on that.

This is not aimed at you in particular, but pretty much everyone who's slating the club over this. The funds have been made available to everyone, the government has not applied restrictions. Companies up and down the country will be claiming this money, yet we expect some moralistic behaviour from football clubs? I don't get it. This money is to recompense people because government incompetency had forced a business lock down. When this disaster is over, we will all be paying the tax burden on this debt, football included. Banks will be taking this money. Cunts like Branson will be taking this money. Fuck heads like Ashley and his empire will be taking this money. Yet everyone will have to pay it back. Until we start slating everyone for taking this money (then I have to ask why are we making it available), why is the club wrong (and football in general)? They will share the tax burden, but not the help at a time when their cashflow has dried up? Sorry, you all sound like fucking Tories. Next you'll be telling the players to make up the gap while letting people like Branson and that cunt who runs wetherspoons off the hook. That cunt Hancock brought up in his press conference the other day that players should take a pay cut. Why, because footballers are just working class plebs who don't really earn what they're paid unlike their fucking Eton mates? Nobody is complaining for billionaires to help out here. Nobody is asking the fucking CEO of Tesco's who'll be making a fucking bundle on toilet roll sale alone. No, apparently all these are legitimate ways to make a fucking bundle on the crisis, but hey, footballers just play football, surely they can help? They don't really earn that money unlike Tarquin and Rupert at fuckhead and sons hedgefund. It's much easier to point a finger at footballers and football in general to distract from the absolute shit show this government is making of this pandemic. You should all be ashamed for buying into it. You are letting them make you think this has anything to do with football. This is a fuck up made from our government who've neglected this country for 10 years so we have a health service that is actively killing the people who work in it and is incapable of helping the people it's there to serve. But hey, let's get upset because a football club has put a few people on furlough because they can no longer do their jobs because nobody can walk out the door in case the healthier service breaks.

Cunts. Fucking thick, stupid, greedy, immoral cunts. You expect it from the likes of Ashley and Green but this really pisses in the wound.

I’ve been so fucking happy about footy for a few years now. I’ve not had as sick a feeling in my stomach about this club since we had the owl. Completely undone year’s of work. This means more? Yeah for who you fucking twats.

Because they're an easy and convienant taget to distract from the absolute clusterfuck the Gov are making of this and the general public are fucking thick and will swallow any old shite?

Spot the stealth brag. Ooh, look at me, I've got 9 friends.

It’s worth following this fella on Twitter. Some funny stuff on there. https://twitter.com/Michael1979