Things you are unequivocally rubbish at.

[Fugitive]

I'm struggling to think of anything.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I used to be the same, mate. I could never get it right. However, once you've got it... it becomes pretty easy.

 

You know what are great, though? Those packets of Basmati that you microwave. Perfect every single time.

 

This is what I've resorted to. Home Bargain micro rice.

[melons]

Cooking rice. Seriously, one of the worlds most cooked foods, made by the poorest people in the worst conditions and mine is always raw on top and burnt on bottom

I have just spent 40 min clearing a pan from burnt on rice.

 

You know what are great, though? Those packets of Basmati that you microwave. Perfect every single time.

Ha, the option i went for when burnt on rice was no longer edible.

 

 

 

 

I can whistle with my fingers, do DIY, well a fair bit. I can iron clothes and i can even wrap presents.

 

Seems i'm better then most of you lot.

[Paul]

Not trying to sound like a smart arse here, but I really can't fathom how you can fuck rice up. What's hard about boiling it for a specific period of time?

 

(As we seem to be blowing trumpets as well as highlighting failures, I think I should mention that I'm a great singer and dancer, as well as culinary wizard.)

[melons]

Not trying to sound like a smart arse here, but I really can't fathom how you can fuck rice up. What's hard about boiling it for a specific period of time?

 

it still sticks to the pan, and i still forget to set the alarm, and i still get distracted by something - then as soon as i go back, the top bit looks ace, then you get half way down and its stuck solid. then further down and its black and needs chipping off with a chisel and mallet.

[hamstrung]

Cooking rice - never fails.

 

1) Rinse it under a hot tap, then a cold tap to get rid of excess starch

2) Put it in a pan and put enough cold water just to cover it.

3) Bring to the the boil without stirring, then add a little drop of oil and some salt. Give it a right good stir and put a lid on.

5) Put it on the lowest heat until the water is gone and the grains have separated. Take it off the heat for a few minutes and it will continue cooking but won't stick to the pan (as it will if you leave it on heat)

 

A Thai lady taught me to do it that way.

 

That shite in packets that you microwave is crap.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Not trying to sound like a smart arse here, but I really can't fathom how you can fuck rice up. What's hard about boiling it for a specific period of time?

 

(As we seem to be blowing trumpets as well as highlighting failures, I think I should mention that I'm a great singer and dancer, as well as culinary wizard.)

 

Maybe I'll go pick some cotton for you aswell ay whist my rice is boiling, yeah you'd love that, oh shit my pick aint swinging, sorry boss.

[melons]

Cooking rice - never fails.

 

1) Rinse it under a hot tap, then a cold tap to get rid of excess starch

2) Put it in a pan and put enough cold water just to cover it.

3) Bring to the the boil without stirring, then add a little drop of oil and some salt. Give it a right good stir and put a lid on.

5) Put it on the lowest heat until the water is gone and the grains have separated. Take it off the heat for a few minutes and it will continue cooking but won't stick to the pan (as it will if you leave it on heat)

 

A Thai lady taught me to do it that way.

 

That shite in packets that you microwave is crap.

 

2 & ½ hours ago that would of come in useful.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Maybe I'll go pick some cotton for you aswell ay whist my rice is boiling, yeah you'd love that, oh shit my pick aint swinging, sorry boss.

 

Oh Lawdy!

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Not trying to sound like a smart arse here, but I really can't fathom how you can fuck rice up. What's hard about boiling it for a specific period of time?

 

(As we seem to be blowing trumpets as well as highlighting failures, I think I should mention that I'm a great singer and dancer, as well as culinary wizard.)

 

Monty often remarks how he can shift some shapes on the dance floor, it's funny though because when I picture him all I see is this :

 

 

[Trumo]

Maths, even basic arithmetic is starting to worry me.

 

I thought you summed it up quite well there.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Cooking rice - never fails.

 

1) Rinse it under a hot tap, then a cold tap to get rid of excess starch

2) Put it in a pan and put enough cold water just to cover it.

3) Bring to the the boil without stirring, then add a little drop of oil and some salt. Give it a right good stir and put a lid on.

5) Put it on the lowest heat until the water is gone and the grains have separated. Take it off the heat for a few minutes and it will continue cooking but won't stick to the pan (as it will if you leave it on heat)

 

A Thai lady taught me to do it that way.

 

That shite in packets that you microwave is crap.

 

I've tried various similar methods, twice the ml as grm of rice, enough water to cover it, leave to boil, bring to boil then turn off and cover, leave to simmer etc etc I think I'm just riceretarded

[Hand Shandy]

2 & ½ hours ago that would of come in useful.

 

If you're cooking rice for two and a half hours, I'm not surprised you burnt it.

[Thants]

DIY, concentrating, caring.

[Thants]

I'm struggling to think of anything.

 

Keeping promises?

[Remmie]

Cooking rice - never fails.

 

1) Rinse it under a hot tap, then a cold tap to get rid of excess starch

2) Put it in a pan and put enough cold water just to cover it.

3) Bring to the the boil without stirring, then add a little drop of oil and some salt. Give it a right good stir and put a lid on.

5) Put it on the lowest heat until the water is gone and the grains have separated. Take it off the heat for a few minutes and it will continue cooking but won't stick to the pan (as it will if you leave it on heat)

 

A Thai lady taught me to do it that way.

 

That shite in packets that you microwave is crap.

I'd like to add that the amount of water covering the rice should be the distance between the end of your finger and middle knuckle. Chinaman told me that.

[Section_31]

Concentrating on mundane shit. I was the world's worst shelf-stacker back in the day, and used to go for little walks around the warehouse. I knew it'd get me the sack, but I just couldn't help it.

[ReddOrDedd]

Doesn't matter how much water you put in with the rice. Personally, I make a MASSIVE pot of boiling water, then I pour the rice in (half a large mug per person), slop in a good few slurps of olive oil, stir, and retreat for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Keep trying a grain or two, and when it's done, drain it in a colander. Piece of piss, and it is impossible to burn it/leave it raw this way. Trust me, this works perfectly. (Even if it drives the missus mad that I use so much water to do it. She's one of those people who like to cook it till the water disappears - far too much trouble, if you ask me.)

 

This is turning into the 'how do you cook rice?' thread.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Jesus christ this thread is about things that you are shit at, this thread IS NOT a fucking please post here the best way to boil rice thread, the next person who mentions boiled fucking rice is getting negged. This may or may not be a slight over reaction.

[Carradona]

I'm really fucking rubbish at speaking out in a lecture theatre full of 150 people.

[ReddOrDedd]

Jesus christ this thread is about things that you are shit at, this thread IS NOT a fucking please post here the best way to boil rice thread, the next person who mentions boiled fucking rice is getting negged. This may or may not be a slight over reaction.

 

Yeah, anyway, as I was saying, you can either wash the starch off the rice before you cook it or not. I tend not to bother, but my missus is very keen on it.

[Carradona]

I'm also terrible at writing good things about myself (eg. in a CV or personal statement).

[BENIRL]

Tying knots.

 

Playing 25

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I'm also terrible at writing good things about myself (eg. in a CV or personal statement).

 

It's one of my sepcialities writing C.V's Cain here's one I've knocked up for you:

 

 

Cain Connolly

 

I'll rock your fucking world.

[Joe Le Taxi]

I'm struggling to think of anything.

 

So you're a shit thinker?

 

I am rubbish at cooking and err....Driving. Although that is expected.