AC Slatering

[Unrighteous]

If only you could straighten your hair? A pair of GHD's created by God himself couldn't get any joy out of that fuckin' pube head you're rocking.

 

Err... My hair isn't even curly and it's far too short for a hair straightener. I'd head up burning my head!

Edited December 7, 2008 by Unrighteous

[odris]

My hair is soft like a babies bottom.

[Unrighteous]

My hair is soft like a babies bottom.

 

That makes it some pretty thin hair, Odris. Might be time for some Rogaine(with Minoxidil).

 

[odris]

I feel it is time for me to move in to unknown waters, McDonalds to be precise, therefore as i am getting my Double S&E McMuffin in the morning i am going to AC Slater that bitch to the ground while at the same time channeling my hero Johnny Drama for my finale, VICTORYYYYYYY!

[Unrighteous]

AC: What do you mean you 'normally' when having a shit?

 

 

 

 

 

 

--------------

 

Have you AC Slatered a bog lately?

[JohnnyH]

Health benefits of the squat position for pooing...

 

 

 

But imagine doing that with a dose of the shits. The splashback would be all up your back and all over your nutsac.

[TommyW]

not to mention he's still got his shorts on... wont end well

[Unrighteous]

not to mention he's still got his shorts on... wont end well

 

Slight error in logistics, that.

[Scott_M]

Often heard the term AC Slatering mentioned on here but never understood what it meant.

 

Simply brilliant.

 

Going to have a go myself in a mo, I'm touching cloth.

 

Looking forward to reading all 11 pages of this tonight.

[Tom R]

One of the all time great thread in GF history.

 

Pages 6-10 had me doing a wee.

[Scott_M]

Awesome thread.

 

Total Longo's post at the bottom of page 4 is one of the funniest things ever.

 

I'm all Rep'd out. I need a lye down.

 

Shame it got ruined around page 9 when gayers started talking about their hair.

[Ginny]

I tried an AC Slater last night. I couldnt do it for laughing. I am going to try again tonight. Hopefully in a few weeks i can build up to and Air Ac Slater

[JohnnyH]

Can't believe i missed this as well. As Smithy, Rem, RK et al will testify I am the Zen Master of all things poopery. To find a new technique has had me quivering with anticipation and as luck would have it, as soon as i started laughing at the genius of the original thread, my bowels moved. I told the Mrs to get the kids out of the bath sharpish as i was going to attempt my first experience of AC Slatering. Sensibly, she did and off i went. In hindsight they should have stayed there to witness their old man breaking his AC slatering virginity, but i wanted this to be a solitary thing, they have years to discover all the little oddities and differing techniques of advanced AC Slatering.

Anyway, i removed kecks and shreddies and maneouvred myself onto the seat. It was a large baby, and fairly fell out hastily. My initial reaction was laughter, but that was soon replaced by the nostril singeing whiff of my

mudchild's aroma hitting me square in the face. That's the moment i decided that AC Slatering was for me. The gap in the back of the bog serves as a sort of chimney to funnel the unadulerated stench of a freshly laid meatloafs daughter right up your nostrils. Ahhhhhhh bliss. I left a skid mark longer than Richard Hammonds but i didn't care. I had fallen in love.

 

That deserves to be quoted for anyone who missed it. Superb stuff.

[stevebaby]

I tried an AC Slater last night. I couldnt do it for laughing. I am going to try again tonight. Hopefully in a few weeks i can build up to and Air Ac Slater

True enlightenment and the realization of "One-ness with the Universe" lies in the mastery of the "Helicopter".

[Alan Sex]

[Total Longo]

My name is Total Longo and i have something to confess...I'm a Slaterholic. It ended up ruining my life. I couldn't do anything without thinking where my next Slatering was going to take place. I was spending up to one penny a day just to get my Slater fix. I lost my friends, my family, my looks, because of Slatering. I even started stealing toilet rolls to help my addiction. I used to sneak into toilets that often that people thought i was taking fucking drugs, for christ sake! How embarrassing.

 

It must be six months now since my last Slater, and let me tell you brothers and sisters, it's been incredibly hard. Addiction is no fun, if i let out the tiniest of little Tommy-squeakers it gets my mouth watering for a Slater experience. But i know if i do give in i will be back to square one again, and i have lost too much to want to get back there again.

[Unrighteous]

My name is Total Longo and i have something to confess...I'm a Slaterholic. It ended up ruining my life. I couldn't do anything without thinking where my next Slatering was going to take place. I was spending up to one penny a day just to get my Slater fix. I lost my friends, my family, my looks, because of Slatering. I even started stealing toilet rolls to help my addiction. I used to sneak into toilets that often that people thought i was taking fucking drugs, for christ sake! How embarrassing.

 

It must be six months now since my last Slater, and let me tell you brothers and sisters, it's been incredibly hard. Addiction is no fun, if i let out the tiniest of little Tommy-squeakers it gets my mouth watering for a Slater experience. But i know if i do give in i will be back to square one again, and i have lost too much to want to get back there again.

 

Ha!

[CrouchieBoy]

while not a true slater and admittedly possibly disturbing, you must admire her attempt

 

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

[Total Longo]

I can't see anything, and i so, so want to.

[Joe Le Taxi]

while not a true slater and admittedly possibly disturbing, you must admire her attempt

 

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

 

That photo never worked.

[Herp McDerp]

I can't see anything, and i so, so want to.

 

That photo never worked.

 

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

[Malarkey]

I got in from work. It was quiet. The only thing that I could hear was the sound of Daft Punk in my ears, on my iPod. There was no one at home. Just me, iPod, and this log that was giving me extreme discomfort. In other words, I was dying for a poo.

 

I walk upstairs, staring blankly at the hostile territory I was going to storm. Armed with only my iPod, and double quilted toilet paper, I initiated the sequence.

 

I sat down. The only difference this time that my knees were facing the wall, and I placed my iPod on the cistern thingy at the back and let nature take its course. Around the world was playing, what a song, the bassline was immense.

 

Silence fell. On came Frank Sinatra. A more sombre mood was foretook. A more serious aura was emanating from myself as this track came on. My Way the song was called. What a song. What a moment.

 

As the pooing came to a close, so did the song. In tandem, I felt like I had no poo let inside me to squeeze out. Frank was belting out the last verse of the song which was probably the most emotional time of my life.

 

"And not the words of one who kneels.

The record shows I took the blows -

And did it my way!."

 

A tear rolls down my cheek as I slowly stand up and whipe my arse. I was at one with myself. This is a story that I will hand down to generation upon generation that enters my family. But, I felt the need to pass it on to the big family that I truly adore; my TLW Family. More importantly, the GF.

 

Now that concludes my story. I felt that I did indeed do it "My Way". And it felt awesome.

 

Thank you GF, thank you ever so much for teaching me the ways of AC Slatering.

 

I am forever in your debt.

 

Fin.

Edited August 15, 2009 by Malarkey

[Total Longo]

I got in from work. It was quiet. The only thing that I could hear was the sound of Daft Punk in my ears, on my iPod. There was no one at home. Just me, iPod, and this log that was giving me extreme discomfort. In other words, I was dying for a poo.

 

I walk upstairs, staring blankly at the hostile territory I was going to storm. Armed with only my iPod, and double quilted toilet paper, I initiated the sequence.

 

I sat down. The only difference this time that my knees were facing the wall, and I placed my iPod on the cistern thingy at the back and let nature take its course. Around the world was playing, what a song, the bassline was immense.

 

Silence fell. On came Frank Sinatra. A more sombre mood was foretook. A more serious aura was emanating from myself as this track came on. My Way the song was called. What a song. What a moment.

 

As the pooing came to a close, so did the song. In tandem, I felt like I had no poo let inside me to squeeze out. Frank was belting out the last verse of the song which was probably the most emotional time of my life.

 

"And not the words of one who kneels.

The record shows I took the blows -

And did it my way!."

 

A tear rolls down my cheek as I slowly stand up and whipe my arse. I was at one with myself. This is a story that I will hand down to generation upon generation that enters my family. But, I felt the need to pass it on to the big family that I truly adore; my TLW Family. More importantly, the GF.

 

Now that concludes my story. I felt that I did indeed do it "My Way". And it felt awesome.

 

Thank you GF, thank you ever so much for teaching me the ways of AC Slatering.

 

I am forever in your debt.

 

Fin.

 

Surely you should have had AC/DC on?

[loadsoftrophies]

My Wife cut this out of a magazine in work and brought it home to me, i'm so proud.

 

Fantastic

[Karl_b]

Slateriffic.