Definitely true things you've heard about Footballers

[Bjornebye 24,833]

Krispy Kreme Donuts were named after legendary perm shagger Kevin Keegan who in his spare time used to turn up at strangers cremations in and around Newcastle and open a bag of onion ring crisps just as the final words of condolence were read out. 

[Bruce Spanner 2,462]

Ole Gunnar Solskjær believes Bruno Fernandes’s impact on Manchester United is as great as Cristiano Ronaldo’s was during his six years at the club.

[Trumo 13,932]

Roy Hodgson is the last person ever to pay full price on a DFS sofa. He bought one this morning in their Black Friday sale.

[Colonel Bumcunt 443]

Iain Dowie was offered every Bond villain role from 1987 to 2011 and eventually had an injunction put on the Broccoli family from contacting him. 

[Trumo 13,932]

As a youth, Ollie McBurnie turned down a trial with SPL club Hamilton Academical because he thought he'd be stuck in an exam room all day.

[Trumo 13,932]

USA women's national team player Megan Rapinoe owns a pet python that is vegan.

[AngryofTuebrook 17,853]

The Christmas carol "Noel, Noel" was written by Eredivisie superstar turned Boro no-mark  Afonso Alves, as a way of helping people to spell his name correctly. 

[Reckoner 1,142]

Steven Howey now sells kitchens but he cannae cook.

[Trumo 13,932]

Arsene Wenger always referred to his assistant Pat Rice as 'Patrice'. Pat never bothered to correct him, instead changing his name by deed poll. He now goes by just the single name Patrice.

[Bjornebye 24,833]

Burnley keeper Nick Pope doesn't tell women in bars that he's a professional footballer. Instead he pretends he's a relative of the Pontiff but they aren't on speaking terms after a particularly heated boxing day game of Kerplunk. 

[Trumo 13,932]

Winston Bogarde's Chelsea contract STILL hasn't run out because the club forgot to put an expiry date on it.

[AngryofTuebrook 17,853]

Kevin Prince Boateng was named after his dad's brother and his mum's German Shepherd.

[AngryofTuebrook 17,853]

Bogeymen have to reassure their children that there's no such thing as Iain Dowie.