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Seven years


SoMuch4Gravity
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Alright boys (Cath, ali and SKI as well),

 

Tomorrow is my seven year anniversary with the girlfriend. What should/can I get her in less than 24 hours?

 

Degree of difficulty: It has to cost less than $20/10 pounds/13 euros/whatever currency you're dealing with

 

[i'm expecting smart ass answers so bring it on. If they are realistic, even better. Ladies, before you go on your cheap bastard rants, I'm broke from buying her engagement ring, so there :tease:]

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that's another damn fine idea.

 

Make a romantic meal, mate, and then pop the question. Watch her melt into the floor. Make sure to include candles and Marvin Gaye/Al Green/Nina Simone in the background, and a fuckoff sized tube of lube for when you inevitably stick it in her shitpipe.

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Stuff the cash down her kecks and tell her it is payment in advance, for "services to be rendered".

 

You will either get a slap or a shag, and either way she won't be thinking about a present.

 

I am a true romantic, you know.

 

EDIT: As a slight aside I am working on a similar principle; next month myself and Mrs Madstock will have been together for 9 years; I plan to use this occasion to tell her that myself and SKI are eloping to Cuba. No present required...

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Definitely the meal, lots of candles, nice music. Tart yourself up a bit and make an 'occasion' of it. Afterwards run her a bath, lots of bubbles, lots more candles. Little things like make sure there's a clean towel (warm it up in the tumble drier ready for when she (or you both) get out. Give her a massage - a proper one, not rub her arse cheeks for 2 minutes and that's your lot. Give her the best seeing to she's every had.

 

Also, buy or make a card. Find the most sickeningly gushy love poem on the internet and write it inside.

 

Also, a homemade book of vouchers is always a good bet when you're skint (redeemable for foot-rubs, cunnilingus, shopping trips etc).

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Also, buy or make a card. Find the most sickeningly gushy love poem on the internet and write it inside.

 

There is a GF challenge if ever there was one - we can all help with this...

 

Girlfriend, girlfriend, here's the thing,

I spunked my cash upon a ring,

I used my heart, and not my head,

Fancy a quick shag instead?

 

Whoever said romance was dead had never met me.

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Definitely the meal, lots of candles, nice music. Tart yourself up a bit and make an 'occasion' of it. Afterwards run her a bath, lots of bubbles, lots more candles. Little things like make sure there's a clean towel (warm it up in the tumble drier ready for when she (or you both) get out. Give her a massage - a proper one, not rub her arse cheeks for 2 minutes and that's your lot. Give her the best seeing to she's every had.

 

Also, buy or make a card. Find the most sickeningly gushy love poem on the internet and write it inside.

 

Also, a homemade book of vouchers is always a good bet when you're skint (redeemable for foot-rubs, cunnilingus, shopping trips etc).

All that for a tenner?
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A career in valentines cards awaits.

 

I tell you, Clinton Cards missed a trick not signing me up.

 

Right verse 2...

 

Girlfriend, girlfriend, have a bath,

Your odour doesn't make me laugh,

And once you've washed your smell,

I'll let you wash my clothes as well.

 

See - that brings together the "running a bath" and "poetry", too.

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Guest PaddyBerger15

Girlfriend, Girlfriend, love of mine

You have an ass thats mighty fine

Your tits are small, but nature has adjusted

Now bend right over while I splosh me custard.

 

If that doesn't work, fuck all will....oh yeah, and get a French Maids outfit...theres nowt makes you spurt better than a tart in a maids uniform.

 

I can't understand why I'm single you know.

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I went to Dunkin Doughnuts for a snack today

And as I sat there, I wondered what I wanted to say

Cos its been seven years and your still around

So i can't help but think if your mentally sound

But as your body is fantastic and it makes me hard

I saved up twenty bucks and bought you this card.

 

Love ya, ya mental fucking hotbod,

 

SM4G

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