Premier League Round Up (Dec 19-21 2020)

[tlw content 12,276]

I almost forgot to do this. My routine is all over the place because of Christmas. Thursday is Round Up day and today is Thursday, but it felt like a Tuesday or something. Then I realised it was Thursday and that it was also Christmas Eve and I went into a panic. 

 

If I don’t get this done tonight it’s not going to be done, as if I tried sneaking off on Christmas Day to do work you’d never hear from me again (because my missus would kill me. Not sure the implication was clear enough there so I thought it best to explain. Probably ruined the line now).

 

So here I am, Christmas Eve, watching MOTD and writing shite about it. You don’t deserve me you know. Usually I fast forward through our game because I’ve already watched it. This time I watched it again. 7-0 away wins don’t come around too often so I’m making the most of it.

 

There’s nothing in particular that I noticed that I hadn’t already put in the report but I want to further emphasise just how fucking awesome Bobby’s finish on his second goal was. Not enough was said about that because the other goals were so spectacular, but the technique on that off the fucking scale. 

 

I didn’t give enough credit to Minamino’s little flick to lift the ball over the defender before his goal either. Lovely skill that. 

 

Anyway, let’s get straight into it as I’d like to finish this before Santa shows up.

 

Arsenal lost yet again. They’ve had so many of these shit runs over the last decade but they always found a way to get out of it and pick up some points before they hit the skids again. This time there’s been no respite. They’re just losing all the time. They lose to good teams. They lose to average teams. They lose to bad teams. 

 

They got off to a terrible start with an own goal from Holding. Not really his fault, he was running in with Calvert-Lewin and the striker’s poor header glanced off him and went in. Pepe equalised from the spot after Garden Gnome Tom Davies fouled Maitland-Niles, but Mina headed in from a corner just before half time.

 

Arsenal were the better side in the second half and Luiz hit the bar, but they couldn’t find an equaliser and remain in 15th spot. They got twatted by City in the League Cup too and this is probably the biggest crisis I can remember in my lifetime. It’s making for some golden content on AFTV though, so long may it continue.

 

I always say how much I despise those Arsenal players and what fucking cowards they are. Generally I feel like there’s not one who is worth a fucking carrot, but sometimes I wonder if there might actually be one or two of them who are being dragged down by the rest and who might have something about them. 

 

Tierney would probably be sound in a different team and I quite like Maitland-Niles you know. I think he’s decent and he doesn’t seem like your typical lightweight Arsenal fanny. I think he has a bit about him but it’s hard to tell when they’ve been so shit for so long and seem to be getting worse, not better.

 

Sacking Arteta won’t change anything either. They need a whole new squad because even Klopp might struggle to get a tune out of those fucking wasters.

 

Everton are still shit though. Don’t let this little run of wins fool you. They’re shit. They briefly went second after this win but I’ve been saying it all season and I’m still saying it now. They’re shit. The best they can hope for is finishing 6th or 7th. Because they’re shit.

 

 

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[rb14 1,111]

Top, top keeping quiet on West Brom analysis there, Dave. 

[DalyanPete 265]

The effort is really appreciated, now get those fuckin sprouts peeled!

Happy Christmas Fella.

[Red_or_Dead 1,026]

It's a Christmas miracle!  A round-up on Christmas Day!

 

 

[sir roger 6,043]

I'm not Brendan's biggest fan ( he is himself to be fair ) but I am sure I saw a stat on BBC that he has turned Mourinho over in 6 of the last 7 games they have met.

 

Look forward to you picking up on NES' rant about Lee Mason in the next TWTWTW.

[Josef Svejk 4,742]

28 minutes ago, sir roger said:

I'm not Brendan's biggest fan ( he is himself to be fair ) but I am sure I saw a stat on BBC that he has turned Mourinho over in 6 of the last 7 games they have met.

Huh? That was Brodge's first ever win over Mourinho. 

[Red_or_Dead 1,026]

6 hours ago, Josef Svejk said:

Huh? That was Brodge's first ever win over Mourinho. 

This definitely sounds more plausible to me!

 

[alles ist gut 3,914]

Absolute top 'fewer points than subs' analysis there, Dave.

[sir roger 6,043]

11 hours ago, Josef Svejk said:

Huh? That was Brodge's first ever win over Mourinho. 

Other than reading the stat exactly the wrong way around I was perfectly correct.

[tokyojoe 2,049]

Great Everton analysis there Dave.

[index1000 504]

Merry Christmas to all You Magnificent Bastards.

[Jimmy Hills Chin 1,130]

1 hour ago, index1000 said:

Merry Christmas to all You Magnificent Bastards.

What about us ordinary bastards?

[StevieMax 103]

Has Garden Gnome Davies taken over the "big little man" role at the Pit from Bilbo Baines?