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Balls... A Reminder

Bubble

By Bubble,
in GF - General Forum

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Charles Penrose
Charles Penrose

Tiny lump near your balls? Sounds like it was your dick mate. 

Sugar Ape
Sugar Ape

Went for an ultrasound on them today and found this thread to post on. Pissed myself at the bit above, they say you never forget your first.    Anyway found a tiny lump, not on my balls but nea

cloggypop
cloggypop

Buster Gonad on Channel 4 right now. 

Fugitive Grand Master

Fugitive

Posted
Posted
Humbling to see you so positive despite what shit has been thrown your way in the last couple of years bubbles, fingers crossed for you here mate.

 

The fact he can still have a joke and a laugh about it makes him a bit of a star in my book. Fair fucks to you mate and I'm sure you'll be given the OK based on how positive the Docs seem to be.

 

You've shown some real balls.

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Bubble Enthusiast

Bubble

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Just out of curiosity, is one more bouyant than the other? Let us know after your next bath.

 

That's a very interesting question. I've only got a shower at home so I've genuinely no idea. However, I will conduct this experiment at the earliest possible opportunity and report back with my findings.

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Charles Penrose Proficient

Charles Penrose

Posted
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A few years ago I was having a good old rummage around my ball sack, when I felt a strange thickening of the tubes (this wasn't an erection, before you ask).

 

Anyhow, I internet diagnosed and figured out it was probably a pretty common varicose vein condition, and as such I nervously made a Doctor's appointment to get my undercarriage inspected. I attended said appointment, and to my dismay my swimmers cap proceeded to cling to my groin for dear life, allowing limited access.

 

Such was scale of retreat, the Doctor was unable to have a proper furtle and sent me on my way with a clean bill of health. I realised that the issue here was that my goods needed to be warm and relaxed. The problem here was that it was mid winter. Over the next month I had three appointments with the same Doctor, who was by now convinced I was imagining things. My attempts at loosening the fixtures and fittings became more and more extreme. Eventually I tried the following on appointment day.

 

Waking up early, I turned my car on and left the engine running with the heat on. I proceeded to sit in a boiling hot bath for half hour and execute a variety of exercises, tugging at it like a Stretch Armstrong. I jumped out the bath, barely drying myself,, and quickly got dressed before getting into my car with a hot water bottle on my dick. Upon arrival I carried this water bottle concealed in a Tesco carrier bag into the waiting room, and pretended it was my shopping as I pressed it deeply onto my lap.

 

When my name was called I raced into the Doctor's room, and dropped my pants. What I hadn't realised in my haste was that I was now presenting worryingly moist giblets and wet spotted boxers to my Doctor (grey was a bad choice), whilst noticing my girlfriend of the times pink Playboy hot water bottle was clearly visible through the Tesco Carrier bag.

 

Luckily, he went on to make the most of his all access pass and gave me the diagnosis I was looking for.

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Section_31 Grand Master

Section_31

Posted
Posted

If I had a fake nad I'd get a camera implanted, occasionally take it out and roll it under doors to spy on people, then I'd collect it in a little cup like David Bowie in Labyrinth.

 

"What's that?"

 

"Nuthin!"

 

"Nuthin, nuthin, nothin! NOTHING TRA LA LAA!!"

 

Hello Hoghead.

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Tom R Grand Master

Tom R

Posted
Posted
Bumped as a reminder on my right bollock's first anniversary. I can't believe a full year has passed since we were separated.

 

As some on here will know, after starting this thread I found out the cancer had spread and had to have some chemotherapy. Once I was over that, I had surgery to remove a lymph node.

 

Thankfully the doctors seem confident that they've got all the cancer now, but I get my scan results back on Thursday to find out for sure if I'm now cancer-free.

 

All in all it's been quite a shitty year (I also found out in the middle of my chemo that I'm being made redundant) but I can't help thinking how much worse it might have been if I didn't get myself checked when I did.

 

Plus, on a positive note, I have gained a cool looking scar and my hair (which was previously completely straight) has gone ridiculously curly.

 

Negged for showing off about having hair.

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