Were you a good footballer?

[tokyojoe]

I could play a bit but wasn't fast enough.

 

They didn't call me the white Pele for nothing though.

[Total Longo]

I never moved from the centre circle but could spray pinpoint passes all around the gaff.

 

Like Big Jan but without the convictions.   

[KMD7]

I was once subbed after 3 mins. (Mentioned that before)

Ha ha excellent.

 

I once scored 2 own goals in the first half of a pretty important match while in a college tournament. Both extremely preventable, and both levelled up the game in their favour. We ended up losing 9-2. Our Captain was an all Ireland champion boxer who threatened to kill me at half time. Didn't get subbed though.

[tokyojoe]

Ha ha excellent.

 

I once scored 2 own goals in the first half of a pretty important match while in a college tournament. Both extremely preventable, and both levelled up the game in their favour. We ended up losing 9-2. Our Captain was an all Ireland champion boxer who threatened to kill me at half time. Didn't get subbed though.

He didn't want you to escape.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Played Landesliga over here, nothing special, but kept me away from the fat cunts who played in the shit leagues. 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Used to have kick abouts on the concrete pitch by ours when I was about 13/14.

 

Few of us turned up one day and it was being used by South Liverpool Boys for a trial game. They were a couple short so let us lot join in. I had a stinker at right back and it was at that point that my limitations were made painfully clear to me and that my footballing future would consist of kick abouts in the park, playing in goal for my school team (I was the only half decent keeper) and the odd substitute appearance in the Formers League for a team my mate set up (I was glad being a sub as it was one filthy league. Anybody with the tiniest level of skill was a target for being snapped).

 

I once played against Neil Danns of Birmingham/Palace/Leicester/Bolton fame in a kick about/jumpers for goalposts game in the park when he was about 11, and the rest of us ranged from 18 to about 40, and he was absolutely amazing. Nobody could get anywhere near him. He never really went on to be a top player, so it goes to show just how good you need to be to make it at the very top level.

[Alan Sex]

I was once subbed after 3 mins. (Mentioned that before)

Your Mrs is harsh, rico.

 

I'm sure she,just wanted to keep the match going after you had dribbled all the way into the box in the first minute.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Played for Liverpool Schoolboys in Junior School, and captained a very good junior team based in West Derby. An ex-premier league captain couldn't get in the team. Finished up at sixteen due to illness tried to come back but was never the same. Took up Cricket then played at a reasonable local level.

[dylstar]

Wasn't bad. Like to think of myself as a poundland Iago Asapas who was shit at corners also.