Well that was embarrassing

[RedinSweden]

Stood at the desk of a colleague and I was looking for a scrap of paper and pulled out a used condom from my back pocket. Niiiice. I had hid it there the other night so the kids wouldn't find it in the morning. This is the second time it has happened in the space of about a month. the first time was at the checkout of the local supermarket. Classy.

 

I have to have the snip.

[JagSquared]

Nice!

 

I did that once when I went on a night out with on of my mates and all her fit mates and got we all got ID'd by the bouncer went to pull mine out and out fell out a condom, must say its prob not the best first impression to make!

[Wig]

Stood at the desk of a colleague and I was looking for a scrap of paper and pulled out a used condom from my back pocket. Niiiice. I had hid it there the other night so the kids wouldn't find it in the morning. This is the second time it has happened in the space of about a month. the first time was at the checkout of the local supermarket. Classy.

 

I have to have the snip.

 

I'd have pissed myself laughing if that happend in here.

 

What did the colleague say?

[Juniper]

Whhhooa Whooa Whooa

 

Isn’t it a bit early to be telling these stories guys……I think its always too early for these kind of stories.

 

Bugger it, here’s mine

 

Got my girlfriends Nan staying with us this week, got home from picking her up and did a quick sweep of the house for dodgy materials we missed whilst cleaning frinday night. Just before I left our bedroom I turned round to luckly notice an used condom on our bedside table, luckily I binned it before she came into the room and my life was secure.

 

Thank god I did as I probably wouldn’t have been able to ever look her in the eye again, would have been the most uncomfortable 4 days of our lives. She'll probably find the porn though in the hidden compartment in our bed, as she bought the bed for us................................bugger

[RedinSweden]

I'd have pissed myself laughing if that happend in here.

 

What did the colleague say?

 

I was very swift. I think I managed to get it back in my pocket before she noticed. I will be able to tell during the day if she gives me a funnny look or not.

[Stouffer]

A bloke I used to work with got really confused as his used condoms kept going missing out of his bathroom bin. Turned out his dog was eating them.

[Wig]

I was very swift. I think I managed to get it back in my pocket before she noticed. I will be able to tell during the day if she gives me a funnny look or not.

 

She!?!? Ha ha ha ha!!!!1111!!

 

Love it mate.

[RedinSweden]

part two...

 

Came back to the house with the mother of one of my sons friends and the binbag I had put on the front veranda had been attacked by magpies and there was a condom lying there on full view.

 

bollocks.

[Stouffer]

I'm starting to think you're leaving them lying around on purpose.

 

Deviant.

[Remmie]

Get a new form of contraception. I suggest smashing her back door in

[WaltonRed]

He gets more than Hef by the sounds of it!

[RedinSweden]

He gets more than Hef by the sounds of it!

 

posh wanks

[WaltonRed]

posh wanks

 

Ah! that explains it then!

[Wig]

Get the snip Jim.

[RedinSweden]

Get the snip Jim.

 

I know. Don't like the idea of someone going at my bollocks with implements though.

[Wig]

I know. Don't like the idea of someone going at my bollocks with implements though.

 

Ha ha. I know yer. Fuck that.

 

[Alan Sex]

Used condom in the back pocket? Wouldn't the goo squidge out when you sat down?

[Stouffer]

[Wig]

Used condom in the back pocket? Wouldn't the goo squidge out when you sat down?

 

Because there's no water in the pistol.

[RedinSweden]

Used condom in the back pocket? Wouldn't the goo squidge out when you sat down?

 

I wasn't intending to keep it there. Anyways, I always knot it.

[ATXRED]

What wrong with you guys, who stashes used condoms in their pockets. Are you fucking on the way to work? In the Park? In the Metro? At work? Seriously. No, I mean seriously, that's hot. How do you swing that? I need to know those techniques.

 

all joking aside though. I can't think of a awkward used condom story. she got tested, I got tested, and both of us were clean. She decided on her own she wanted to get the pill, and we haven't had to use condoms for 9 months. Before that, the condoms got flushed in the toilet. Not good for the planet, but like I said, they haven't been used in a while.

[Spy Bee]

It's a good job you found it. Imagine if you had those pants on 9 months later and when looking for a piece of paper you pulled out a small baby.

[SoMuch4Gravity]

i'm w/ ATX on this one, you actually knot them off and put them in places you'll likely forget they are? what ever happened to throwing it in the waste bin and covering it up w/ a tissue or toilet paper. if someone finds it, then you get the have the, "so do you sort through everyone's trash? or just mine?" conversation.

[RedinSweden]

i'm w/ ATX on this one, you actually knot them off and put them in places you'll likely forget they are? what ever happened to throwing it in the waste bin and covering it up w/ a tissue or toilet paper. if someone finds it, then you get the have the, "so do you sort through everyone's trash? or just mine?" conversation.

 

we don't have a bin in our room and I am too lazy to go into the bathroom.

[Big Ig]

Stood at the desk of a colleague and I was looking for a scrap of paper and pulled out a used condom from my back pocket. Niiiice. I had hid it there the other night so the kids wouldn't find it in the morning. This is the second time it has happened in the space of about a month. the first time was at the checkout of the local supermarket. Classy.

 

I have to have the snip.

 

Wrap in bogroll, weigh down with something dense, flush away, problem solved.

 

Back pocket?! Niiiiice :blah

 

EDIT: Must read rest of thread first