THE TLW TAVERN (no virus talk allowed, just small talk pub bollocks)

[Captain Willard]

Is it winner stays on ? 

[Rushies tash]

13 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Is it winner stays on ? 

 

Yeah mate, as soon as I find out whose pound this is.

[Dave D]

If you lift the table up and drop it the balls come out anyway. We haven't got a white ball though. Some guy swallowed it for a bet. (He said he'd bring it back when he manages to get it out the other end) 

 

*Cues are behind the bar- £40 deposit as they are genuine Cliff Thorburns   

[bossy]

I wouldn’t go in there for 5 minutes

[Dave D]

3 hours ago, TheHowieLama said:

Thought this place got cancelled.

No, I bowed to pressure and the toilets are gender fluid now.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

Here's the DVD fella 

[Dave D]

7 minutes ago, bossy said:

I wouldn’t go in there for 5 minutes

 

Captain Willards been in there 2 hours. And he always leaves the tap running 

[Captain Willard]

Can I have a pickled egg with that please

[Captain Willard]

1 minute ago, Dave D said:

 

Captain Willards been in there 2 hours. And he always leaves the tap running 

I’m writing down all the phone numbers written on the walls. 

[Dave D]

Some bloke moaned we didnt have any soap the other day.

 

Hipster beardy type he was

 

[bossy]

6 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I’m writing down all the phone numbers written on the walls. 

I’ve blocked you.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Bit skint so staying in tonight.

 

Currently watching a guy build a bathroom and staircase in his remote log cabin, using a big fuck off tree he's just chopped down in his front forest, on YouTube.

 

Now he's whittling summat from tree bark as I'm sat here transfixed, supping a pint of West Indian Guinness.

 

 

[Colonel Bumcunt]

Save up lads.

 

https://0.honda/en/

[AngryOfTuebrook]

3 hours ago, Dave D said:

No, I bowed to pressure and the toilets are gender fluid now.

 

Never mind gender fluid, they could do with a bit of Jeyes Fluid.

[VladimirIlyich]

11 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Never mind gender fluid, they could do with a bit of Jeyes Fluid.

Just so you know,that isn't my 'fluid' on the walls on trap number 2. It was there when I went in. The stuff on the floor,well hmm.

[Bjornebye]

Anyone serving? 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Anyone serving? 

Help yourself. Everybody else does. Make sure you wash your glass though as there was a bit of a 'one man,one glass' competition last night.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, VladimirIlyich said:

Help yourself. Everybody else does. Make sure you wash your glass though as there was a bit of a 'one man,one glass' competition last night.

Wondered what the smell was 

[VladimirIlyich]

16 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Wondered what the smell was 

That could also be those blag after shaves somebody was selling. I got suspicious when one was called L'Eau de Grandad's Farts.

[Bjornebye]

3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

That could also be those blag after shaves somebody was selling. I got suspicious when one was called L'Eau de Grandad's Farts.

 

'Old Stringy Spice'

[Dave D]

Early bird offer starting tomorrow- buy 1 shot of 20/20 get the rest of the bottle free

OFFER ONLY VALID 10am-11am

 

 

[Rushies tash]

1 hour ago, Dave D said:

Early bird offer starting tomorrow- buy 1 shot of 20/20 get the rest of the bottle free

OFFER ONLY VALID 10am-11am

 

 

 

Do you do breakfast baps with that?

[Dave D]

4 hours ago, Rushies tash said:

 

Do you do breakfast baps with that?

Not Baps as such, We do a kind of breakfast casserole 

 

[Bjornebye]

 

 

[Rushies tash]

3 minutes ago, Dave D said:

Not Baps as such, We do a kind of breakfast casserole 

 

 

I'll have two of those and a shot of mad dog then please mate.