I've had six pints...

[Kopite]

...and have to say... I love you guys.

 

The 6 pints were lager by the way.

[King Emlyn]

Dude, you are on one motherfuckin roll today.

[god knows]

Nearly fell into a 'Marc Almond' trap there kopite!

[Kopite]

Dude, you are on one motherfuckin roll today.

 

I've had Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas from the chippy at Ffrith Beach too. I was offered a Sunday Lunch at a mates house in Dyserth, but I'm taking my little one to nursery tomorrow (8:30am) and I know that after dinner will involve more drinking at the New Inn.

[longballs]

Hows the diet?

[Kopite]

Hows the diet?

 

My weight has stabilised to be honest. I'm not losing and not gaining. I eat most meals according to the Slimming World diet. The trouble is I have numerous blow outs by drinking and eating takeaways.

[hamstrung]

Lightweight.

[Spy Bee]

If I start drinking the only way I stop is by falling asleep. If I am conscious I continue to imbibe.

[Unrighteous]

...and have to say... I love you guys.

 

The 6 pints were lager by the way.

 

Awwww bless...

[Red Phoenix]

If I start drinking the only way I stop is by falling asleep. If I am conscious I continue to imbibe.

 

I bet if you had 8-12 pints and then a few decent bongs you'd soon stop.

[Spy Bee]

I bet if you had 8-12 pints and then a few decent bongs you'd soon stop.

 

Due to being unconscious, which fits in with what I said above.

[Red Phoenix]

Due to being unconscious, which fits in with what I said above.

 

Haha, yeah I guess it does, agreed.

[drewy]

I bet if you had 8-12 pints and then a few decent bongs you'd soon stop.

 

Fuck that, whitey city.

[Hooch]

I sat at the end of my garden last night with a spliff and a can and stared at the sky for ages.

But for the numerous turds my dog had done around me it was lovely.

[Kopite]

I sat at the end of my garden last night with a spliff and a can and stared at the sky for ages.

But for the numerous turds my dog had done around me it was lovely.

 

Either your dog had the "runs" or you were sitting there for a long, long time...

[Hooch]

Either your dog had the "runs" or you were sitting there for a long, long time...

 

Bit of both I think, shes a shitting machine I tell thee, I picked a load up this morning only to look out and watch her have another two dump in the space of half an hour, wtf!

[Section_31]

Been the gym but haven't yet been for a shower and currently smell like the folds of a fat bird's gut.

[Unrighteous]

Been the gym but haven't yet been for a shower and currently smell like the folds of a fat bird's gut.

 

I can range from 'not really smelly' to 'smells like a dirty tramps nutsack' after the gym.

 

I reckon 'the folds of a fat bird's gut' to be somewhere near the nutsack.

[Section_31]

I can range from 'not really smelly' to 'smells like a dirty tramps nutsack' after the gym.

 

I reckon 'the folds of a fat bird's gut' to be somewhere near the nutsack.

 

I'm currently sat at a 90degree angle and yet can smell my own balls, surely a cause for smelly concern.

[Kopite]

Been the gym but haven't yet been for a shower and currently smell like the folds of a fat bird's gut.

 

Talking of fat birds. My mate has just been away training with the TA.

 

Anyway at the ice-breaking session one of the lads he is training with comes out with a pearler.

 

This lad and his mates are in this bar in Llandudno (The Washington if anyone knows it. Proper dive if you don't). They are having a "Sh*g a Pig" competition and there's this huge dinner (unit?), covered in tattoo's. She's that big she makes Rik Waller look anorexic.

 

His mate goes "dare you to sh*g that."

 

"No f*cking way."

 

After to-ing and fro-ing he finally caves in and agrees. So he walks over and straight to the point asks her if she fancies a sh*g.

 

"F*ck off you cheeky tw*t".

 

He walks off. Half an hour later she comes over and asks him if the offer still stands, so he asks her to go outside. She suggests they go in the gents and he agree's.

 

He closes the door of the first cubicle, pulls his massive pants down (they were bigger than an big top) and starts banging away. He pulls it out and starts doing her "up the wrong 'un", she is screaming by this time and unfortunately this draws the attention of the doorman.

 

There's a huge bang on the door "oi, what is going on in there?"

 

He keeps going, she keeps screaming, shortly after he fires his "muck". Just after this the doorman kick the toilet door in. He knocks into her so hard she smacks her head against the cistern.

 

She walks out, pants down, blood streaming down her face and his "mess" leaking out of her a*se for everyone to see.

 

Now that is a story to break the ice.

[Section_31]

hahahaha fucking ace!

 

Big big big big big big big BIG Unnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!

 

All fat birds should have their heads routinely banged against toilet cisterns, I'm sorry but that's where I come down.