Fucking jury service!

[Red Mist]

I've been called up to serve as a juror. I didn't mind at first as I thought it would be good to get away from work for a few weeks, but that was when I was under the assumption the court will cover my FULL loss of earnings (since my employer does not pay you while on jury service, very few employers do).

Imagine my horror when I read their shitty expenses breakdown. Less than 4 hours a day service and you get a pissy £31.52 a day. Wtf?

 

What kind of a cunting system is this where you potentially suffer a huge loss of earnings for public duty and don't get adequately reimbursed?

I need ideas to get out of this shit, I doubt "I can't afford it" will suffice...

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I'm fucking dying to do jury service, I'll just vote guilty, if they look the type, they probably are, it's an exact science. Oh and just tell them you're gay and you could potentially bum the defendant to death.

[odris]

I want to do jury service, it sounds so cool.

[redheart]

I want to do jury service, it sounds so cool.

 

Why because you get to bum the accused?

 

Red Mist if you cannot get out of jury service you are just about thick enough to deserve to do it

[odris]

Exactly.

[Acid]

I dont know if they do this over here, but you could do a larry david.

 

94zkBGm1IoU

[Duncan Clench]

Just say you're an antisemetic racist homophobe. Hey, it might even be true.

[RedinSweden]

Tell them you can't for religious reasons.

[RedinSweden]

Dear Mr Summoning Officer (I suspect you are a man, as if they'd let women do something important like this!),

 

Thank you for the invitation to perform jury service. I can't wait to help send some scumbag down. I bet they are black. They normally are. Or Jewish. Or Muslim. Or some shifty cockney barrow boy.

 

Anyway, can't wait.

 

Mr Redmist

[Bubble]

Try the Homer Simpson approach - "I'm prejudiced against all races."

[kelster]

Wear a BNP badge.

[Fowlers God]

Kill someone? it worked for me.

[Paul]

My mate's doing it in February and, as a council employee, he gets full pay for the whole thing. I'd fucking love to do it, dull though it may often be. I'd just like to feel like I was part of the justice system for a while.

[clockspeed]

Dont knock it you could get off for 2-3 weeks for juicy trial if you are picked. I was on a jury for rape trial she was a sportster, wanker went down after he pleaded guilty half way through, but I had his number before he chickened out. As with most rape trials Jury heavily loaded with women/girls apparently they look on victims of rape as probably deserving what happened to them. From memory he was a weedy little bastard.

[RedinSweden]

Dont knock it you could get off for 2-3 weeks for juicy trial if you are picked. I was on a jury for rape trial she was a sportster, wanker went down after he pleaded guilty half way through, but I had his number before he chickened out. As with most rape trials Jury heavily loaded with women/girls apparently they look on victims of rape as probably deserving what happened to them. From memory he was a weedy little bastard.

 

What does that mean?

[Duncan Clench]

Convertible?

[odris]

I wait outside court every Thursday evening looking for people who may be interested in joining the JUSTICE LEAGUE!

 

 

That's me at the front, you better believe it.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Dear Mr Summoning Officer (I suspect you are a man, as if they'd let women do something important like this!),

 

Thank you for the invitation to perform jury service. I can't wait to help send some scumbag down. I bet they are black. They normally are. Or Jewish. Or Muslim. Or some shifty cockney barrow boy.

 

Anyway, can't wait.

 

Mr Redmist

 

repped

[TommyW]

My dad was called up but when he responded he wrote on the form that he was a little hard of hearing (he's not), never heard from them again

[god knows]

I would fucking love to be on a jury sending the little North Faeces wearing bastards down. I could fuck them legally, rather than tying them up and leaving them screaming for their crack whore mudders in damp cold fields.

[col06]

I thought that was no way of getting out of it ?

[Red Mist]

I thought that was no way of getting out of it ?

You can refuse to turn up but you'll get fined £1000. You can defer jury duty for a year if you have a good enough excuse. Which I'm currently working on.

[Chinandeler Bong]

Its very interesting if you get picked to be fair, its the waiting to be picked which is shite so take a book . Im sure those expenses are wrong . Double check them mate.

[Red Squirrel]

When you go in just start mumbling Allah Akbar under your breath, im sure the judge will bin you off the case.

[Red Mist]

This sucks balls. I've been there 3 days now and not even been on one fucking case. I was called up TWICE today to serve on the jury and on both occasions they sent me packing. Once you get into the courtroom, they randomly select 10 cunts out of the 14 jurors to serve - on both occasions I missed the cut and was told to politely fuck off.

The worst thing is, some of the people they selected were right mongs. Some could barely speak a word of English, others had blatant mental and physical disabilities - one was practically blind!

If you're not selected to serve in the jury you spend the day sitting around the lounge area where there is fuck all to do, and you're not even allowed to leave the court except for lunch times, or when you're told you're no longer needed.

This has been the most boring 3 days of my life. I'm giving this shit till Wednesday. If I'm not selected on a jury by then, I'm gonna tell the court to fuck off and I'm going back to work.