Featured: World Cup Round Up - Group Stage Round 2

[tlw content]

Ok I’ll say it. Brazil are shit. And they’re incredibly dull. It’s as though Neymar is the only one who’s even allowed to do anything ‘off the cuff’, the rest of them are robotic as fuck. Like I said in the last round up, there’s a real Chelsea stink about them. And what’s with the screaming from the crowd any time Neymar gets the ball. It’s the World Cup, not a fucking One Direction gig.

Fred is garbage and the alternative to him is Jo. Fred and Jo. Fucking hell, they may as well have called up Bert and Ernie for all the use they are. Did Scolari just decide to call up as many work horses and possible and leave all the flair players out? Sure as hell looks like it. Alan Shearer hammered Fred for his crapness and upset Dani Alves in the process, who called the ex England man ‘idiotic’. They’re both right. Fred is shite and Shearer is an idiot.

And what’s with Thiago Silva? Great player but he always looks like he’s about to burst into tears. Seriously, just look at his face next time he plays, he’s got even more of a cry baby face than Ronaldo. Mind you, playing alongside David Luiz will do that to any decent centre half.

Mexico were good value for their point although their keeper was the best player on the pitch. Mexico’s big fat coach is boss though, I could watch his sideline antics all day. I’d shit a lung if Brazil lost their last game and were knocked out. It’s Cameroon though so no chance of that happening.

So were Holland a bit of a flash in the pan then? That win over Spain was a bit of a freak result I’d say and they only overcame the plucky Australians in their second game. Holland are exactly who we thought they were; better than Australia but not by that much. Against a good side when they can counter attack they’ll look good, but if they have to take the game to someone they’ll struggle I reckon. Robben is awesome though, he can win games on his own.

The Aussies have lost both games but they’ve given it a right good go and can hold their heads up. You’ve got to admire them as man for man they are arguably as poor as any team in the tournament (with the exception of Iran) but they are so much greater than the sum of their parts.

Robben did what Robben does and put the Dutch ahead with a ‘typical Robben goal’ but Cahill equalised with a stunning volley, certainly not your ‘typical Cahill goal’, it was with his foot for a start. The Aussies then took a shock lead from the penalty spot (never handball in a million years that) but Holland hit back straight away through Van Persie. A mistake by the keeper then allowed Depay to put Holland ahead and they held on to qualify for the knock out stages.

Wesley Sneijder is bang average these days. He shouldn’t be, he should in the prime of his career but for some reason it seems his prime was actually around 24-25 and it’s going downhill fast now. He’s been virtually anonymous in both games.

Cahill and Van Persie appeared to be in their own personal snide off. Both leaving their foot in on opponents whenever possible and they both should have been sent off. Poor old Bruno Martins Indi left the field on a stretcher after being clattered by Cahill for about the third time in 15 minutes. It’s true what they say, you can take the man out of Millwall/Everton…

The big shock of round two saw Spain dumped out just seven days after the start of the tournament. Battered by Holland, they were then completely outplayed by Chile who flew at them from the first whistle and almost scored twice inside the opening minute. Spain had no answer and just looked completely one paced and lacking in ideas. How the mighty have fallen.

Chile’s first goal was brilliant. Fantastic passing and vision from three players and a class finish from Vargas. The second goal was all on Casillas, who has turned into Massimo Taibi in this tournament. He was the best keeper in the world until that tit Mourinho got his hands on him.

Poor Xabi had a complete ‘Jon Walters’ of a day too, nothing went right for him. The same could be said for most of the others too. This group had won a World Cup and two European Championships together, but look at them now, they’re a mess. What’s changed? Well the only significant changes I can see is they brought in Azpilcueta and Costa, so basically yeah, it’s Chelsea’s fault.

 

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[Tom R]

"false 3" is genius

[Trumo]

Watching Eder play reminded me of Kenwyne Jones too. A bit gangly, able to put himself about but doesn't look arsed most of the time, and oddly looks like a girl when running. It's that combination of hairstyle, limp arms and loads of tape around the ankles making them look skinny that gives me that last impression. I thought he was just a youngster but it turns out he's 26.

 

In Britain, the crappest player was normally made to play in goal. In Portugal, they must stick them up front.

[m0e]

No mention of Ecuador Honduras, Dave?

 

That's ruined it for me.

[tlw content]

No mention of Ecuador Honduras, Dave?

 

That's ruined it for me.

 

I did write something on that game, must have deleted it somehow. Will edit it tonight.

[UnwelcomeinPeru]

Brazil are shit and I am looking forward to them going out. 

 

Aside from one or two exceptions - Thiago Silva and Neymar (who at least has done what he's in the team for) their squad seems to be either Has Beens/Who?/or turds like Luiz, Oscar, Willian. I can't remember them being less likeable. Their fans piss me off too. Like 70,000 versions of that 'Arsenal fan' in the Fast Show.

 

As for Itandje, well. I don't know any pub goalies but if I did I imagine they'd be pissed off at the comparison. Neymar's 2nd tonight was ridiculous.