Cheating the reaper!!!

[Joe Le Taxi]

Im pretty sure I near came to my demise in Ibiza as well. Snowballs (Acid mixed with Ecstasy) taken at 4 am. Flight home was at 6 am. Estimated effect of snowballs - 18 hours.

 

There is losing your mind and then there is the cataclysmic mindfuck that I went through for those 18 - 24 hours. I couldn't walk as my limbs had all seized up and my arms and legs were going into tremors. Not the shakes just; but actualy massive attacks of wild flailing of both limbs. My mates then somehow managed by some miracle to get me through security with instructions not to open my mouth; they also made sure I didn't walk through with any metal because if they had started searching me, the game was up and I would surely have not been allowed on the flight. I got on the flight anyhow and could hear, clear as day my friends giving out about me. The only problem was that they were fast asleep; it was all in my head as was the incessant music that I had heard throughout the week. There was music playing in my head as clear as listening to a CD. I remember I was actually going to go up to the pilot at one stage and ask him to turn the radio down.

I was sitting on the bus back from the airport at around 12 pm convinced that my friends (who were all fast asleep) had teamed up with a couple of Spanish people to wreck my head. I kept hearing the clicking noise from a camera as if they were taking pictures of me and thought they were trying to splash me with water.

I just sat on my own for two hours saying over and over to no one in particular "I know what your doing; im not stupid."

 

I had the good sense when I got back that I wasn't fit to go home so with my mate in tow (who had taken them as well) marched straight up to Lidl without saying anything to our other mates (who had all turned against me of course) with our suitcases and bought two bottles of cider.

 

We then went straight to the closest spot where he could drink the cider in peace which appropiately enough happened to be a garden outside an asylum. I think we came pretty close a few times to checking ourselves in. The cider calmed me down eventually and I just treated the music as free radio as it faded gradually but fuck; never again!

 

It's funny now writing about it but holy fuck; at the time I was capable of anything. I really thought I was never going to come out of it and to be honest would have been liable to do anything if my mate hadn't been with me.

 

Never really been able to look drugs in the eye since that infamous day (except good ole poppers of course)

 

Brilliant.

[odris]

I have cheated the reaper on one occasion, he had pocket aces and i was waiting for a spade to come out on the river, never happened and after seeing the expression on my face the cold hearted cunt went all in. I slowly removed a 7 of spades from my trouser pocket and threw it down on the table, seven deuce suited BAM! He had no idea he had just been cheated. Soft twat.

[marceaujazzman]

Jazzman after a sizeable tipple once tried to measure the temperature of the coffee he was drinking to sober his shitfaced badself up with a fridge magnet thermometer - in the days before he said no to caffeine.

 

Crazy fool continued drinking his coffee without realising the thermometer, which only read temperatures up to 40C had burst, spilling deadly mercury into his cup.

[DooooodekNo5]

Im pretty sure I near came to my demise in Ibiza as well. Snowballs (Acid mixed with Ecstasy) taken at 4 am. Flight home was at 6 am. Estimated effect of snowballs - 18 hours.

 

There is losing your mind and then there is the cataclysmic mindfuck that I went through for those 18 - 24 hours. I couldn't walk as my limbs had all seized up and my arms and legs were going into tremors. Not the shakes just; but actualy massive attacks of wild flailing of both limbs. My mates then somehow managed by some miracle to get me through security with instructions not to open my mouth; they also made sure I didn't walk through with any metal because if they had started searching me, the game was up and I would surely have not been allowed on the flight. I got on the flight anyhow and could hear, clear as day my friends giving out about me. The only problem was that they were fast asleep; it was all in my head as was the incessant music that I had heard throughout the week. There was music playing in my head as clear as listening to a CD. I remember I was actually going to go up to the pilot at one stage and ask him to turn the radio down.

I was sitting on the bus back from the airport at around 12 pm convinced that my friends (who were all fast asleep) had teamed up with a couple of Spanish people to wreck my head. I kept hearing the clicking noise from a camera as if they were taking pictures of me and thought they were trying to splash me with water.

I just sat on my own for two hours saying over and over to no one in particular "I know what your doing; im not stupid."

 

I had the good sense when I got back that I wasn't fit to go home so with my mate in tow (who had taken them as well) marched straight up to Lidl without saying anything to our other mates (who had all turned against me of course) with our suitcases and bought two bottles of cider.

 

We then went straight to the closest spot where he could drink the cider in peace which appropiately enough happened to be a garden outside an asylum. I think we came pretty close a few times to checking ourselves in. The cider calmed me down eventually and I just treated the music as free radio as it faded gradually but fuck; never again!

 

It's funny now writing about it but holy fuck; at the time I was capable of anything. I really thought I was never going to come out of it and to be honest would have been liable to do anything if my mate hadn't been with me.

 

Never really been able to look drugs in the eye since that infamous day (except good ole poppers of course)

 

Quality stuff...reminds me off a time or two.

 

Probably the most intense hit ive ever had was mixing different acid together ,purple microdots and rugrats 1st and last time we ever done that luckily were round my mates house to ride it through, fuck knows what would of happened to us if we had been outside,carnage.

 

Not as mind bending as magic mushrooms though , them things are proper head fuck material, i live in the new forest and every season we would go out 6-7 handed and pick hundreds of them at a time get back brew them up and have a good time,you hear about bad trips but i had never had a one until one time when i just knew pretty much as soon as i done them something wasnt right , fucking horrid expierience i genuinly didnt know who i was, just lost my mind or was lost in my mind ,it was an ordeal to get through that night felt so fucking relieved to wake up with a normal head on the next day , no doubt about it if i hadnt i would of been off to the mental hospital. never again after that one.

[DooooodekNo5]

Nearly having it all ended one night in bournemouth getting chased out of sega world by a security guard for a pissed up food throwing contest 4-5 of us ran out onto the street (dont even know why we ran) and while my mates went left and right i just carried running straight into the middle of the main road and got hit by a peugot 306 straight up onto the windscreen onto the roof and down the back,regained my senses after a few seconds got up and legged it.

 

Also tipped a forklift truck going foot to the floor , managed to sort of jump out the side whilst it was falling, ended up breaking my foot. 1st day at the job aswell.

[Duncan Clench]

I got his by a car when I was 4. Don't remember much about it but I broke my femur, cracked my head open and fractured 2 vertebrae in my neck. Lost a lot of blood and was in traction for 3 months. Close to death apparently.

 

Oh and my mum told me that I actually did die for a bit after I was born. But I think that happens a lot doesn't it?

[The Great Jacko]

I was on a all expenses paid trip with work in Barcalona and I was determined to show that I could hold my booze. We started off in that street which has lot's of bars in the middle of it then after a couple of hrs or so we went for some food in a resturant on a boat.

 

I decided that I didn't want to eat with my 15 or so colleagues and got a table for 1 which I promptly fell asleep at.

 

After dinner :wow: we went for more drinks at las rambalas or whatever and then a walk around the seafront - at which point I became a magical aeroplane and ran away from the group in much the same way as a 5 yr old boy would pretend to be an aeroplane.

 

The next thing I remember is waking up under the wheel of one of those great big MF trucks in a lorry park overlooking the city. To this day I've no idea whatsoever how I ended up there as it's at least 3 miles or so outside the city and bloody high up - but thank christ the truck didn't drive off whilst I was havin a kip or I'd have been brown bread.

 

So now I had to get back into town and started to walk down the hill/mountain and try and get a lift. However I desperately needed a crap and couldn't find a toilet - basically it was a countryish road with no shops or anthing. Eventually I couldn't hold it anymore so jumped through a hedge into a field pulled down my shorts and crapped - the grass was really short though so I used my hand as best I could to clean myself up and wiped my hand on the grass.

 

I carried on walking down the road and quickly came upon an outdoor restaurant and ducked in to see if they could order me a cab. There was quite a scene when I staggered in as I hadn't realised that the field I'd crapped in was basically right next door to the restuarant and everyone sat facing in that direction could've seen me shitting and going by the looks on their faces as I knocked against their tables they had. It also turned out that I stunk of shit, and was completely covered from head to toe in tyre black crap ( I looked like a minstrel) and was totally incoherant but I didn't know that at the time and was run out of the restuarant by some crazy ninja Manuel waiter types.

 

Finally after walking for ages I managed to flag down a cab and as I was completely incapable of speech showed him my room key which luckily had the name of the hotel on it. When we arrived I could hardly walk and the poor cabbie basically carried my shit stained stinking hulk into reception where there was a large cheer from my work colleagues who were finishing their drinking in the lobby bar. Somehow I made it to my room showered and changed out of my shot covered clothes and then when out on the piss again with the hardcore crowd that was left.

 

That night is still spoken about as legendary.

[Antynwa]

I nearly got ran over by a royal mail van, I mean it, it was like a matter of centimetres from hitting me.

 

Also, Does going on Oblivion count?

[rb14]

More times than I can begin to recount on here. One particularly nasty close shave when I was on top of Carnedd Dafydd in a fearsome February storm. Two people died up there that day.

 

I think my funniest was when I was racing stock cars. I had to prep the car for a race meeting the following day. I was on my own in the garage. It was really late and I'd been at it all evening. I'd put the car up on a cheapo Halfords trolley jack to do a quick bit of welding and angle-grinding right underneath.

 

My mate woke me up the following morning. I'd fallen asleep exactly where I'd been working - under the car supported by nothing more than a cheapo hydraulic jack and with a live arc welding torch in my hand.

[She Knows It]

Have you seen that film 'Duel'? Well I'm the bloke and the reaper is that big old truck.

[chris71]

Coming in to land at John Lennon airport last Wednesday for the f***y we were nearly on the tarmac when the plane went vertical with the engines screaming heading for the stars. After a bit the captain calmly comes on the intercom and says "You may have noticed we had to abandon the landing" No fucking shit Sherlock! Only after landing did we find out another flight had casually gone on to our runway for take off,forcing us to pull back up and staining some good underpants.Thus thankfully avoiding some prime time on Sky News.

[RedinSweden]

When i was out on the piss in that london with a former girlfriend she looked the wrong way and stepped into the road, right in front of a lorry. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and pulled off an amazing superhuman feat and lifted her back onto the pavement with one arm.

[Joe Le Taxi]

When i was out on the piss in that london with a former girlfriend she looked the wrong way and stepped into the road, right in front of a lorry. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and pulled off an amazing superhuman feat and lifted her back onto the pavement with one arm.

 

That's what he wants us to think. He actually pushed her infront of the lorry then went out on the piss.

[Plewggs]

Up yours Reaper!!

 

 

[She Knows It]

Up yours Reaper!!

 

Fuck me, it's Bobby Ewing. Where the hell have you been?

[Plewggs]

Fuck me, it's Bobby Ewing. Where the hell have you been?

 

Belgium.

 

Someone had to.

[RedEagle]

One time I had someone stalking me,I later uncovered that he did indeed plan to kill me,however shall we just say that my friend "sorted it" .