Premier League Round Up (May 20-25 2023)

[tlw content]

 

I suppose last weekend wasn’t a complete disaster. It could have been better but it definitely could have been worse too. The Blues could have saved themselves with a win but they didn’t. That said, Leeds and/or Leicester could have really put Everton in trouble had they won, and neither of them could, the shit bastards. 

 

Leeds teased us by taking the lead but couldn’t hold on, while Leicester parked several buses at St James Park and somehow almost stole a win at the death. Still, the point keeps the dream just about still alive going into the final weekend. We’re going into the last day with a possibility of an Everton relegation, and I probably would have taken that two weeks ago after the fucking Brighton debacle. I don’t think it will happen but at least it’s still possible.

 

It's still hugely irritating the way that game at Molyneux ended though. Hwang put Wolves ahead when he tapped in a rebound after Traore had ran the length of the pitch and brought a save from Pickford. That brought Wolves to life and they had plenty of chances to extend their lead but didn’t take any of them. 

 

The Blues had been doing ok until they conceded but when Calvert-Lewin’s hammy went just before half time they struggled to do anything. Nunes almost wrapped it up in stoppage time but was denied by Pickford and then right at the death, in the 100th minute that jabroni Wolves keeper flapped at a cross, Keane pulled it back and Mina scored.

 

Where the fuck is Jose Sa and who is this bum who replaced him? He looked a random lad from the crowd who'd been handed the gloves. He parried away a shot in the 2nd half by Gray and honestly, he couldn't have looked less like an actual goalkeeper if he tried, the un-coordinated bastard. As for the goal, that was some Peter Shilton style leaden footedness there. Getting out jumped by Tarkowski at the back post. Fucking dickhead.

 

Had Leicester not picked up a point there’s every chance that right now I'd be giving Wolves the Brighton treatment. Absolute fucking dickheads dominating the game but not killing it and then conceding a 99th minute equaliser. I'm not as angry as I could be just because I don’t think it makes too much difference, but if Everton draw and Leeds win and the Blues stay up on goal difference, then that point at Wolves will be thing that’s saved them and I’ll never get over it. The more I think about it, the more likely that scenario is and that spawns fucking goal by Mina looks massive. For fuck’s sake.

 

I’m tormenting myself with this shit and have been for months, but now it’s come down to one game and I know every possible permutation needed for them to go down. Basically we’re relying on Bournemouth and then hoping either of the other two fucking deadbeats can help themselves for the first time in weeks.

 

Calvert-Lewin’s injury is massive though. When he plays they’re a completely different team. If he’d been fit all season they wouldn’t be where they are so thank fuck he hasn’t been and thank fuck he’s probably out this weekend too.

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[alles ist gut]

Top, top Welbeck analysis there, Dave.

[DaveT]

I watched the first half of Spurs last week before setting off for our game….stunned to hear the final score a bit later. As for the Kane goal, which had the BT commentary team creaming keks, but which was a copy of Trent’s a few days earlier……. didn’t they bring out a law a few seasons back, saying you couldn’t have players in the opposition wall? Or had that been quietly dropped, just like the 6 seconds goalie rule, taking free kicks from the right place and impartial refereeing?

[Anubis]

I sent the threats to Bamford, the massive fucking fraud. I seduced and banged his wife as well. She’s my wife now, Dave. Put that in his my boy status update.

[dave u]

2 hours ago, Anubis said:

I sent the threats to Bamford, the massive fucking fraud. I seduced and banged his wife as well. She’s my wife now, Dave. Put that in his my boy status update.

 

You were my number one suspect.