Comic Relief

[WrongIslander]

Chris Moyles did a 51 hour show. What's funny about that?

 

His 2 hour show isn't funny, so how does making it 51 hours suddenly make it funny.

 

Well I suppose it was 51 hours he wasn't eating so if they flew that over in care packages it would at least raise a few smiles.

[JohnnyH]

I've read a lot of the comments here, and I've had a thought based on them.

 

I may start a charity where all the money goes to the same good causes, but the premise is that every year people have to donate enough to beat the amount raised the year before. If this is achieved, then they will promise NOT to show comic relief.

 

A further idea would be for every £1,000 above the previous years figure we could kill one of the "celebrities" starting with Dermot O'Leary.

 

Thoughts?

[WrongIslander]

I've read a lot of the comments here, and I've had a thought based on them.

 

I may start a charity where all the money goes to the same good causes, but the premise is that every year people have to donate enough to beat the amount raised the year before. If this is achieved, then they will promise NOT to show comic relief.

 

A further idea would be for every £1,000 above the previous years figure we could kill one of the "celebrities" starting with Dermot O'Leary.

 

Thoughts?

 

I demand Eamonn Holmes is invited.

[loadsoftrophies]

Shit, never thought about that.

 

I'm getting on the phone and asking for a refund, the bastards.

 

and like Fug said, sue them for false advertising, that'll show the cunts.

[Chinandeler Bong]

Just give some dosh you whining old bastards.

[a stoner]

I don't donate to this shite as too much money goes out of this country.

I donate to causes where the money stays in the UK and only the UK. I get proper pissed off looking at pictures of starving kids in Africa when the capital city looks liik this.

 

Yeah looks like they are proper fucking skint doesn't it.

 

I know there is a poverty divide in these coutries but it should be their wealthy people doing this not us.

[Antynwa]

Am I right in saying that whatever the likes of BA pay in charity, they don't pay in tax?

[a stoner]

Am I right in saying that whatever the likes of BA pay in charity, they don't pay in tax?

 

Yes, up to a point, there is a percentage limit that they can go to.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I just don't donate full stop. My taxes go towards a load of shite without my say so anyway. I feel sorry for anybody who is suffering when it's not necessary but it could be sorted by all governments getting together to sort it out rather than beg from the public. But they don't want to as they have the poor countries where they want them. They lend money to these countries but all that money which is lent has to be used by giving it back to the lending country by buying arms and other shit which is no good to those who actually need the help. Plus the countries still have to pay the loan back with interest. The World is fucked up because those in power wish to make money off the back of the decent people. Fuck them all.

[chauncey]

Whilst I'm all for good causes.. help the needy... yadda yadda... starving Africans... blah blah.. dying children etc. etc. the whole Comic Relief circus is self-regarding and ultimately self-serving.

 

Ever noticed how these rich, famous and talented people giving up their time and getting together "for one reason: to get you to give money for a good cause" are plugging something? Musicians never do a greatest hits set or even play a classic - always the latest single. Comedians can't even be arsed to spare ten minutes of new material and to prove my point here's Jimmy Carr recycling jokes I heard at the Empire last year.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

We get cheeky cunts begging in Bielefeld and they have top of the range trainers, jeans etc etc.. They hold their cap out and say " Have a heart for the hungry." Fuck off you cunts.

[Guest PurpleNose]

I'll give a tenner if Lenny Henry promises to get Maleria.

[chauncey]

We get cheeky cunts begging in Bielefeld and they have top of the range trainers, jeans etc etc.. They hold their cap out and say " Have a heart for the hungry." Fuck off you cunts.

 

Always fascinates me when this gets said about Big Issue sellers. I'm amazed when people come out with this. How do you know these beggars' clothes are top of the range? Can't say I've ever noticed myself - probably because homeless people are invisible to me.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Always fascinates me when this gets said about Big Issue sellers. I'm amazed when people come out with this. How do you know these beggars' clothes are top of the range? Can't say I've ever noticed myself - probably because homeless people are invisible to me.

 

Big Issue ? Don't get that in Germany. But give me some credit mate, i know when i see a beggar who is taking the piss. They have trainers and jeans on that i wouldn't pay for myself due to the high costs and yet beg for money. They do however put on a sad face, speak a language i can't understand for authentication and have a shit hair style for the day. Tell them to fuck off... bang.. they speak fluent German and get very aggressive. Each to his own, i never donate to anybody..fuck em.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I'll give a tenner if Lenny Henry promises to get Maleria.

 

I might be forced to give 20 quid if you cheer for an England team in any sport and leave out the anti English digs.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Annie lennox still has a good voice like.

[Guest PurpleNose]

I might be forced to give 20 quid if you cheer for an England team in any sport and leave out the anti English digs.

 

Fucking no chance.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Fucking no chance.

 

Thought not. Saved myself 20 quid and i won't feel bad when you are pissed off when we win something. Pretty sad considering i don't mind anybody winning anything if they have deserved it...well apart from those French cunts.

[Guest PurpleNose]

Thought not. Saved myself 20 quid and i won't feel bad when you are pissed off when we win something. Pretty sad considering i don't mind anybody winning anything if they have deserved it...well apart from those French cunts.

 

For two reasons I won't feel bad.

 

England won't win anything.

I really don't care all that much.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

For two reasons I won't feel bad.

 

England won't win anything.

I really don't care all that much.

 

Rugby tomorrow...maybe

Cricket T20 champions

Ashes at cricket

Loads of gold medals at Olympics in cycling etc..

I could go on....

 

We win our fair share at different sports. You must care, otherwise you wouldn't hate so much.

[stringvest]

Anyone listening to John Prescott reading out the shipping forecast on Radio 4? He's doing well so far....

[Guest PurpleNose]

Rugby tomorrow...maybe

Cricket T20 champions

Ashes at cricket

Loads of gold medals at Olympics in cycling etc..

I could go on....

 

We win our fair share at different sports. You must care, otherwise you wouldn't hate so much.

 

I'd rather watch strictly come ice factor than rugby.

 

The Olympics doesn't count. Because its even shitter than rugby.

 

I really don't hate the England cricket team. I dislike the fact we have so many South African players simply because I think it makes International cricket a little pointless. I think its utterly demorilising for young English cricketers. Infact I know it is. Most of my other gripes concerning England and cricket are to do with the organisation of the game. Most of which stem from being a coach here, and facing needless problems regularly.

 

Hate is a little strong though, and wrong. I promise you I just don't care enough about any International sport.

 

When I watch cricket I just want to see a close and entertaining game.

 

Anyway the thread is about comic relief. I'll give a tenner to comic relief if England win the World Cup.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I'd rather watch strictly come ice factor than rugby.

 

The Olympics doesn't count. Because its even shitter than rugby.

 

I really don't hate the England cricket team. I dislike the fact we have so many South African players simply because I think it makes International cricket a little pointless. I think its utterly demorilising for young English cricketers. Infact I know it is. Most of my other gripes concerning England and cricket are to do with the organisation of the game. Most of which stem from being a coach here, and facing needless problems regularly.

 

Hate is a little strong though, and wrong. I promise you I just don't care enough about any International sport.

 

When I watch cricket I just want to see a close and entertaining game.

 

Anyway the thread is about comic relief. I'll give a tenner to comic relief if England win the World Cup.

 

You stingy fuck, that must be at least a grands worth lol.

 

Comic Relief and sport go together imo...especially when you are English. But the same can be said about every nation.

 

Getting back on track.. i'd love a World without poverty, especially when we see the amount of food wasted because it's cheaper to bin it rather than sell it in the shops. Helps keep the prices up ;) I'd gladly give 10% of one months wages a year if it would wipe out poverty. But we all know it will never happen because the richer countries make money out of those less fortunate. That's why i will never donate as i know from personal experience how the whole system works. I fucked off a well paid job because i couldn't stand the fact i was helping greedy twats make money out of the misery of others. Sad world we live in and nothing will change as the human beings in charge will never change.

[Guest PurpleNose]

You stingy fuck, that must be at least a grands worth lol.

 

Comic Relief and sport go together imo...especially when you are English. But the same can be said about every nation.

 

Getting back on track.. i'd love a World without poverty, especially when we see the amount of food wasted because it's cheaper to bin it rather than sell it in the shops. Helps keep the prices up ;) I'd gladly give 10% of one months wages a year if it would wipe out poverty. But we all know it will never happen because the richer countries make money out of those less fortunate. That's why i will never donate as i know from personal experience how the whole system works. I fucked off a well paid job because i couldn't stand the fact i was helping greedy twats make money out of the misery of others. Sad world we live in and nothing will change as the human beings in charge will never change.

 

Agreed with a lot of your earlier post. I take offence to rich celebrities begging me for money, and its simply not in the interest of rich countries to give any real help to poorer countries.

 

Almost impossible to avoid the bit in bold unfortunately.Technically I don't really work for anyone yet I'm still helping utter cunts make money out of the misery of others.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Agreed with a lot of your earlier post. I take offence to rich celebrities begging me for money, and its simply not in the interest of rich countries to give any real help to poorer countries.

 

Almost impossible to avoid the bit in bold unfortunately.Technically I don't really work for anyone yet I'm still helping utter cunts make money out of the misery of others.

 

The public are duped by those who make money. We all need to live ourselves and need our conveniences, so we all help the rich take the piss whether we like it or not. Poverty could be wiped out throughout the World if the rich were prepared to give up their profits. But the same people pray on the generosity of the public and come out with slogans like " We can make a difference, please give." No... we can't make a difference because you cunts in charge don't want it. If poverty didn't exist then certain firms wouldn't make millions. The saddest fact in all of this is those who do donate and keep these self sanctified bastards in a job. If we could pull together we could make a difference, but we have to get rid of those at the top first and that is never gonna happen.