Uncle_Meat

Saturday fucking shoppers at Tesco in Old Swanm clogging up the car park and being total twats when it comes to letting any kind of traffic flow whatsoever. I wouldn't mind, I only nipped in for some milk, 20 Bensons and the paper but as soon as I turned in I knew I was onto a loser. Cars snaking around the entire fucking car park. Finally got parked, nipped in only to wait about 15 minutes just to get served at the ciggy counter, the usual old biffers in front "Oooh. Just do this lottery ticket. Hang, on. Here's another one." and so on, taking a veritable fucking ice age each to get served, the poor lass at the counter to'ing and fro'ing between all the "Ohhh. One more thing.." JUST TELL HER WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT ALL IN ONE GO YOU WIZENED OLD TWATS" To top it off, the car park was still jammed. It took me an entire certain sporting event featuring some teams from London for me to finally get out onto St.Ozzie street. At one point I got out the car for 10 mins or so for a smoke, got back in and nothing had moved in that time. Add that to other twats blocking the lanes up by trying to squeeze into the smallest gaps, therefore stopping other cars coming the other way and then being able to reverse back to let traffic through as the cunt behind them has now squeezed up to the back of them. Utter fucking horrendous day, made me late as fuck for taking my mam to the pub for a scran and fucked me up for getting a ticket for another local sporting event.

Ms Poon lol

I've got by with Avast Free for years, and never had a single problem. As George points out, no AV is 100% reliable, I get infected machines with all kinds of free and paid for AV software upon them. As I like to tell customers, online security is 75% software and 25% safe hex.

Oooh. Get you and your pearly gnashers. What dentist are you using anyway? (Only about a dozen of the fuckers it seems in Wales so worth an ask..) I've got a hate-hate thing going on with Denticare in Aberystwyth at the moment. It's the only one I can afford, NHS rather than "Fuck me!" private prices and they've right fucked me up... Had 2 bothersome root canals done ages ago and they've never been right, some of the problem, apparently, being that I've got long roots that pierce my sinsuses. Anyway, a load of recurring infections later, including one where I had to go to an emergency dentist on a Sunday morning as "The entire of my left jaw and throat had swelled up" to get it drained before my windpipe closed up. Apparently, it was like a geyser when he drained it... Been kicking off again, so went there on Wednesday to get them sorted again. Took the caps off and drilled so much away, suggested various repairs and I just said "Look, pull the fuckers and I'll get screw-ins, a plate, whatever, just get the cunts out so they can't give me anymore hassle. OK, but we can't do it now because of infection, here's a load of antibiotics, we can get you sorted just before xmas but bear in mind you'll be a bit knackered for eating and making merry for a week or two. So, fuck that. Arrange to get it all done in January. And, my appontment times? 2.30. Yep. They're officially taking the piss out of me now. To top it off, I've been left with a gob like a picket fence where I've been decapped, ground down a bit and "left open" for anything nasty to drain away. That's me fucked for any mistletoe action this year. (sympathy reps appreciated)

Malcolm Ross the solicitors are here to help you. If you have a problem, just give us a call. We're a friend on the end of the line. Fucked if I can remember the rest, but try them if they're still going. And, when you do, give Malcolm a punch square on the nose for an irritatingly catchy jingle that has been trapped in my brain for Christ knows how many years.

Airburst thermonuclear devices get my vote. Might dry the place out a bit.

I might have posted this before, but well worth a refresh* *did you see what I did there?

Bollocks. Only just noticed the date for this.. I'm in Liverpool this weekend to take my Mam shopping, but I'm already booked up Saturday evening with seeing some old mates and going halves on a bottle of vodka with one of my exs. Might be able to pop along for a swift half and astound you all with my amazing tatty head depending on where things are starting and what time and so on.

Students. So innocent. I always thought milking involved some KY, a rubber glove and a prostrate massage.

Probabaly an idea to check the HDD for surface defects first. I was about to suggest the Hitach Drive Fitness Test program, but that does not work over USB. I tend to remove the internal unit on those anyway and test them on the native SATA/IDE bus. There are othe utils that'll work though. Run those, verify the disk surface is OK and then repartition or zero fill the drive and repartition and reformat.

Yup, no matter what the weather it's a cracking view to wake up to. Another downside of this weather is I've discovered a leak in my workshop. Came in this morning, switched everything on and one of my monitors went "ftttz... POP", complete with a little trademark wisp of smoke from the back. I spotted where it had been pissing through down the back of the monitor, switched off at the mains and give myself a right belt as the sockets were wet as well. Luckily no customers machines got soggy, but it was close to a new build I finished off at the weekend. Residual current circuit breakers make these things safer? My arse.

Pfft. Do that standing on my head. 5 Mil would keep me in clover until the end of my days anyway, so subtract for 39 points. Computer, kitten and iPod, that's 11 points. Alcohol, fast food and books. 12 EQUESTRIA! 15 1 point left. Suppose it'll have to be a dartboard. Where do I sign up?

The poor things neck was only half as long as that the night before, and it's squeaker is now broken.

[YOUTUBE]CnnGYaqjW-A[/YOUTUBE] [YOUTUBE]grvr4nK4AZA[/YOUTUBE] [YOUTUBE]EAXYMOgHQI4[/YOUTUBE] [YOUTUBE]2w8VsvJ40sM[/YOUTUBE]

A couple of favourites I'm listening to at the moment. A positively final appearance - Sir Alec Guinness. Genuinely good story and, being read by Alec himself, so easy to listen to. Star Trek memories and Star Trek Movie Memories - William Shatner. It's written and read by William Shatner. What more do you need to know? A Liar's Biography by Grahame Chapman is a good listen too. I tend to save my audiobooks for long car journeys. Find a good one and the time just flies by.

Yep, that freeware Partition Table Doctor is good stuff, might be all you need by itself. Loads of various recovery software out there, from linux bootcd type stuff to Windows utils. In work, I find Easeus Data Recovery Wizard Professional to be a good one. Yarrr.

You missed out donkey fondling too. Nowt like a pair of well fondled donkey ears to cheer you up on a frosty morning.

He'll be back soon enough, the big shapeshifting lizard freemason that he is. He never annoyed me that much to be fair, he used to be a bit tiresome sometimes in certain threads that were otherwise going somewhere interesting but he never had a go at me. Well, I think he tried a shot one time but just never took the bait, replied with something inane rather than inflammatory and no more was said. Daft thing is I reckon he could be a good lad and a good laugh otherwise.

Back when I lived in Liverpool I was diagnosed as being bi-polar. It was a mates of mine who prompted me to get checked out as they had noticed the swings far more than I had, to be fair it wasn't a massive mania cycle, but quite a deep depressive cycle. They had me in at that place in Newsham Park and wanted to put me on various drugs I can't remember the name of now, but the main one being a monitored dose of Lithium. Apparently, from what I remember, you have to be quite careful with dosage with that stuff. I didn't quite trust them to do the right thing or dose the right dose, and besides I enjoyed my more creative cycle and saw the depressive bit as being fair payment and this being better than the virtual headmong that Lithium might do to me. Certainly enviroment didn't help at the time, a tatty flat in a bit of a dodgy road, work was sporadic (Not that I minded that much at the time, it gave me an excuse to stay in and nerd hard on the computer) but still. Not conducive to a healthy frame of mind I suppose. Anyway, chance came for me to move to Wales by a friend of mine, and I stayed in a caravan on her farm for a few months whilst I got my shit together and that, more than anything, is what drew me out. Peaceful place, good people and lots of happy animals I could bond with which helped the most I think. I was having quite an antisocial episode (Used to get quite long ones back in Liverpool.. Months at a time sometimes...) at the time, but happy huggy scritchy animals? Fuck yeah, I can deal with them all day long. This levelled things out a bit, got me out and about around the farm and then around the locale, found some voluntary, then part-time, then self employed work and the rest is history. It's still there, I know it is. I have my up periods and my down periods, but not as deep as they were back then, and I'm better at realising it and knowing how it'll soon pass, don't do anything daft, just relax and I've got good people around here who are understanding of my little foibles, in a "Heh, that's our Meaty. He's just doing his antisocial bastard thing, bless his little scouse socks. He'll be back soon enough..." And that's about it.

I'm guessing this wasn't in the Franny Lee era of chairmanship? Shit. F***ball on the GF. INCOMING!

This is more usual view down the back garden, taken this weekend. And this was this mornings, slightly soggier, view.

If anything, this has ruined any chance I have of carrying off a Christmas jumper now. No way on Earth would I be able to pull it off with the panache and sartorial elegance that Remmie has. Remmie, you bastard. You utter handsome bastard.

Nope, but you've just spotted my fucked up maths. That should have been 1+1, and only just noticed myself. I'm surprised no-one else noticed, they must all be Geordies. If you're a Geordie, congratulations upon prising your fingers away from being wrapped around a kebab or a Newkie Brown bottle for long enough to be able to count on them.

Stephen Fry - You may not have noticed, but I'm a bit of a whoopsie.

In which case, take him down by none-lethal means? I see your point, sort of, but I know for one I could not make that decision and even if placed in a position of surety, I could not bring myself to do it. I might regret it for the rest of my days, given the consequences, but I know I would also regret pulling the trigger.