Geoff Woade

Fucking Slippin' Divi. Another prick who flatters to deceive. They're all useless though to be fair. Love to know what Klopp teaches them in training.

I wouldn't be surprised if that flaccid strapon Hodgson could set up a championship team to beat us 1-0. Fucking shambles.

Forsyth The queen Gasgoigne Prince Philip Freddie Starr Stephen Hawking The hairy bikers Trump Sean Penn

Hopefully it's ruined Forsyth's Christmas by making him realise it definitely has to be him next.

Could just be the camera angles on that YouTube of Brandt but he looks to be a bit 'solidly built'

Aim your rage elsewhere. I mean generally.

He's very fortunate to have the funds to keep fighting. Should be making us more worried about how many people have had false convictions they cannot afford to contest.

Man in white t shirt - 'I swear your honour, I was doing flips on the trampoline, it collapsed and I landed mouth first on the dogs' erect penis, it was all an unfortunate accident Judge - 'never heard such bullshit, I hereby bring back hanging and sentence you to it, you are worse than Saville, take him away'

I still enjoy shouting 'there's so much more room for activities' at my Mrs whenever we move a bit of furniture around. It annoys her a lot which is great. Also if I'm out of breath or sweaty and someone asks why I always say 'just been watching Cops'

Anyone who rings in a radio station asking for a song. Probably waited on the line for about an hour as well. 'Can I have Uptown Funk for me and the girls, we're all getting ready to go out and have it large in town, woooooooooooooooo'. Put it on YouTube you dickhead.

I got quoted 1500 to fit a kitchen, we're talking bog standard units and worktop in a 3 bed semi. Some utter clowns out there.

Makes him come across like a tosser. 'Boo hoo, I have to stand in a different position on a field while I play a child's game and get paid hundreds of thousands of pounds a week to do it'. It's just pathetic. It would be refreshing to hear one of the spoiled twats just once admit they are some of the luckiest people in the world and grateful for every moment. When you boil it down he kicks a football for a handsome living and expects the working man to sympathise with him because he's being asked to adapt to a slightly different role that there is no reason he can't do. And the journalists lap it up. If he was moaning to me about it my eyes would be rolling so far back in my head I would be looking at my brain.

No idea how he gets in the team ahead of Can. You could count the number of very good games he's had for us on one hand. How he is captain is a mystery, I really wish we had a proper hard, evil cunt like Roy Keane playing for us. Henderson can press well high up when played against an attacking team you need to pin back but he's useless in games like today. Most of the time the game seems to pass him by.

He's mental this lad. I actually chuckled while reading that. Good for him. It's like the Simpsons sketch where all that's in Homer's head is a note saying 'I owe you one brain'. Fuming at him is the same as being annoyed at a new puppy that pissed on the carpet. Although I will go against the grain and say there is a player in there somewhere, I genuinely hope he can turn it around, unlikely but you never know

Can I get an opinion on acceptable behaviour in a queue? By work on a Friday they have a brilliant food stall on the market but it's always hammered. I join the queue,after a few minutes I hear a commotion behind me and it's 2 lads moaning they won't get served and eat before their dinner is over. They then spot a lad they know in front of me and give him their order and the cash. Nobody else seemed to care even though it was quite open in front of them so I kept quiet even though I was burning with rage. It was only because of everyone else's indifference that I didn't say anything as I didn't want to come across as some sort of lunatic but it 'ground my gears'. Is this on or what?

Ho Ho, quality banter chap. You sure have us all fooled. Be careful not to be late for your shift on the wrong side of the gloryhole though.

When it does happen it will still be tinged with a sadness that it didn't happen in the seconds following Dossena's chip.

Mine used to do that 'don't park there, a tank might want to get through, slow down, someone might not stop at that stop sign'etc until l just started bellowing 'DO MIND THE PEDESTRIAN ON THE FOOTPATH DEAR' at her in my best Hyacinth Bucket voice whenever she did anything like that. She just gives me her best death stare now which is great because I just tell her her eyes go boggled when she does it which makes her even more angry. Good times.

Completely fair if that's what you experienced. Maybe we've just landed unlucky a couple of times but i saw a few instances of things (with no examples to redress the balance) that were completely outrageous on top of continuous what you would just class as general antisocial behaviour. No probs if people have had better experiences but we just haven't.

A thread to diss the Russians!! Praise be to Allah. Without a doubt the most odious bunch of dead eyed, inhuman turds to disgrace the earth. Anyone trying to defend them should be sentenced immediately to 7 days in a 3 star all inclusive 'resort' in Greece teeming with Russians with no time off for good behaviour. I pride myself on being easy going and 'live and let live' but they are something else, I have never seen anything like the way they act on holiday. The children I am sure train be be assassins from the age of 4 so lack any understanding of playing nicely with any of the other kids or even allowing them in the proximity of the arcade or games rooms, the woman are similar and the men clearly hate being forced to be there away from interrogating some unfortunate with electrodes to the anus. It's as if treating people like shit is a matter of personal pride for them. And the owner of 'Speedo' must be top mates with Putin because apparently that's all they're allowed to wear on holiday even when in the restaurants. I wound genuinely rather spend a week trapped in Benidorm with the John Terry fan club than a group of them. The weird things is they'd see this post as a ringing endorsement.

Completely depressing if true. I would genuinely prefer we sign the corpse of Rauol Moat.

This tosser won't resign, he's the worst human ever. Even Hitler knew when it was time to retire to his study with a bottle of poison and a pistol.

I was just saying to the Mrs how Ragnar would be a top name for our bump. She's unconvinced so I might have to give her some blood wings later.

Sorry to read about your troubles mate. We have similar with my wife's family. Its horrible watching the upset, one of her brothers is a dangerous psychopath who loves making people miserable but then takes offence at any imagined dig at him. Ignore Hades, he's an insufferable, self righteous, bad twat

Bidding £15 million for Deeney is proof football has gone mental Rejecting it is proof they should bring back old fashioned sanatoriums. And hanging...