Geoff Woade

There’s a documentary about him on YouTube. The bit where he’s getting married is quite possibly the saddest thing you’ll ever see.

If your idea of a fun time is 4 hours of turbulence on a shitty airline followed by refugee camp standard board and lodgings then go for it. I paid for extra to leave on a flight home 3 days early. If you’re really into extreme experiences which are value once you get there, go to China, that’s an eye opener, simultaneously the best and worst experience of my life.

It is luxury depending where you go and how much you can or want to sponk. 5 grand all inclusive for a 10 days in Dubai is not really comparable to 350 quid all inclusive in a Greek hellhole.

Say what you want but what a state of affairs (and in full acknowledgment of our own shitty state of affairs) it was when the choice fell between the orange man and a journeyman with a life expectancy shorter than a tin of soup.

It’s from a film called The Shallows.

Nasty echo chamber of a place over there. Governed by social misfits that I picture as the living embodiments of comic book guy out of the Simpson’s.

You can appeal your banding. It does run the risk of being increased but they only do that from the date of inspection I think. If it’s banded down you’re owed a refund all the way back to when you moved in. You can research it online, definitely worth doing if you’re confident it won’t go up. The reason houses on your street may be different is that when someone has an extension etc, it only gets re-banded when someone else buys it. They tried to put mine up because the last owner changed the garage into an office but I appealed and won. I imagine there are countless properties being overcharged.

No chance. You’d take her out and she’d spend the whole time crying about her divorce. The one she instigated but now wants sympathy over. Not for me Clive.

Excuse me pal, we’re busy slagging off Russians here. Don’t interrupt

I had a shit experience with Russians at a hotel in Greece, proper aggressive. Abusing the all inclusive, they love watermelon, rather than just tong a couple of pieces out of the display thing they’d reach in and lift the whole tray out. We were there with another family and there was constant rowing with Russians between the groups. My mate was at the coffee machine one morning and wasn’t moving quick enough for this woman so she reached over and flipped the tap with boiling water on so it went over his arm. It proper kicked off. The kids are fucking horrible as well, dead eyed little bastards.

I remember this. Isn’t it the one where the neighbour ran back shouting ‘it’s good news’ everyone was all pleased and then he went ‘they found the wallet’

The owners have worked out it’s cheaper overall to pay him more than they want to than it is to buy a replacement.

Don’t be surprised if his next step is politics a la Trump. He’ll have seen him manage it and think ‘I can do that’

To be fair, it’s only 21 grand a month on the mortgage after the 500 or so grand deposit so I’m sure most people could stretch to that......

I had this from being very young and it’s horrible, every headache a tumour, the runs was bowel cancer, everyone had meningitis and it was only a matter of time. What I agreed with myself was that I wouldn’t worry until I had 3 nights of unexplained night sweats in a row (as this is a sign of a change in the physiology of the body) or unexplained weight loss over half a stone. it’s genuinely helped. That and ‘if this doesn’t clear up in two weeks I’ll book in the doctor but won’t even think about it till then’

I wonder if Espanyol fans are the same about Barcelona. Constant mental gymnastics to explain how despite appearances, they’re actually better.

Humble bragging is off the scale with most people on this. I saw one the other week with some no-mark metaphorically licking Captain Tom’s ballsack for likes. Absolutely cringeworthy, in the comments someone dared to suggest it was all a bit over the top and was soundly piled on by the lickspittle toady arseholes. There are some mates I know, normal people who post on there but the way they write is as though they’re high flying execs who spend too much time reading the thesaurus. It’s hard to resist mentioning in the comments that you’d never think that the last thing they posted on the lads WhatsApp group was a video of a trans dwarf fucking a horse.

I started Gomorrah the other week and am flying through it. One of the best things I’ve ever seen and because I need subtitles ensures I have to pay attention rather than be distracted. I’m as much enjoying the style of it, whether that be the contrast between the shithole externals of the apartments compared to their palatially furnished interiors and the class rig outs of the gangsters. Naples has definitely gone back on the travel wish list off the back it.

Lazy, unambitious and crap. He’s a triple threat. Him being brought on in the last 10 minutes is the signal the game’s over.

The garbage these papers just come out with. It must be so easy being a journalist these days. Just throw in a ‘believed to be’ or a ‘could’ and you’re immediately absolving yourself of any requirement to check sources or put your reputation on the line. Of course they’d consider Gerrard if Klopp left, doesn’t mean he’d get it. It’s all bollocks though, I’d love to know which manager in world football would have coped with the injuries we’ve had. Last year Man City got slack because Laporte was out for a lot of the season, we’ve had about 5 or 6 first 11 players missing for massive chunks at the same time. It’s ridiculous.

I’ll stick my head over the parapet, I bet there are. Increased pension contributions from earnings are currently tax free to quite a decent level so plenty of people are banging extra into that from their gross. I’m yet to meet anyone who would genuinely rather pay more in tax when it could be going in their pension pot. *my laziness has dictated replying to this post as a sole issue so apologies if you mean at levels above low to mid earners*

I’m glad I’m not a newsreader having to pretend I’m arsed. The royal family thing baffles me, I was playing golf at the time Princess Diana’s funeral was on, an octogenarian came limping across the course shaking his walking stick and shouting that I had no respect. We’re quite an odd culture, I doubt if the roles were reversed Diana would have stopped going about her business if it had been my send off.

I remember not long ago crowing to anyone who’d listen about how I’d keep him most out of the front 3 because ‘he knits it all together’ and I didn’t want Suarez back because Firmino was better. Anyone want next weeks lottery numbers?

Whether the result had gone for or against us, the standard of the commentating is disgraceful. The constant waffling about the context of the game was sickening. Like 2 drunk uncles pontificating to each other at the last knockings of a wedding while the bar staff are clearing up around them.