Oh what a night

[Anny Road]

Top story and one which you will treasure for many years to come. Even if it seems unlikely at the minute.

 

It reminds me of a similiar one where a mate of mine took a bird home to kirby.

Her husband was not to happy when they got out the cab and he was away on his toes with no cash on him.

The only way he new from kirby to netherton was down the motorway so set off down the M57. He stopped halfway as he was busting for a shite. Was forced to wipe his arse on a wet crisp packet and was lifted by the coppers on the hard shoulder and charged with indecent exposure. Magistrate fined him £750 and said he was lucky not to be placed on the sex offenders register.

[Guest Jay W]

Sex offender for having a shite?

[Stu Monty]

Right so am in ours with me mate, the birds gone to stay out and were having a few jars and what not. So he gets the idea lets go for a few in town and after six San M Im all for it. We get to town mooch round a few bars, getting absolutely twatted in the process. End up in the walkabout dancing to some 80's cheese with Hamman and his bird (who basically was the last person to leave the bar because he was finishing bevvies but anyway),I think I was Pouring my heart out to him aswell at one point about how cut up I was when Steph left and that CUNT Pelegrino stepped in (I'm cringing so badly I can bearly type) but anyway. So were walking round to get a taxi and bump into these birds in a pizza place, a mother her daughter and a hot mate. I really wanted to get off but me mate was going "lets go back to theres theve got a dance mat !" which weirdly at the time I was thinking er yeah that sounds like a good enough reason to me. Turns out they lived in Formby, and when we get there the taxis £40 quid and I had to pay the whole fucking thing. To make matters worse they arranged to be picked up by lads and just did one as soon as we got out the cab. At this point were walking around Formby no money no clue were we are and the police pull over (cue arrest numero uno). They start with alright lads were are you from ? Bootle, why are you in Formby ? am going the beach, dont get smart lad, are you known to the police ?, no not at all, have you been drinking ? ay theres no flies on this guy is there, right your arrested for disturbing the peace and being drunken disordely, sweet ! They put us in the back of the car and say you can go in a cell for the night or have an £80 fine, we then tell them we got ditched by bird and they took our money and that (which we would come to desperatly regret later). So I take the fine and they drop us off at Thornton. Me mate rings his bird and begs her to pick us up, she reluctantly agrees and we wait in the phone box (which must of looked awesome at the time hugging each other for warmth in a phone box which every window had been smashed in it and there was no door). Next thing a police car pulls up this same thing again, alright lads were are you from ? Bootle, Scallies are yeah ay, no not really, we explain weve already been nicked once and we just want to get home were waiting for a lift. They start ringing through to ID us and me mates bird pulls up, he jumps in the car and the police say, ay we havent finished with you yet, so hes on his walkie talkie thing and that, next thing he goes to my mate while hes sitting there next to his bird, I believe you paid for girls to get to Formby and then they left you outside there house (worse sinking feeling of all time) we just try to brush him off anyway and drive away. Just before we do me mate gives him the finger. Two minute down the road the police car and a van pulled us over and I swear down dragged me mate out the car ordred me out and told his bird to fuck off now. They had us up against the wall poking us four of them shouting who the fuck do you think you are giving me the finger, am gunna bury you and all this shit. They then put us in the back of the car and give us the same ultimatum fine or cell, we take the fine and they drop us off in the middle of nowere. Just before we get out the car the copper goes "your lucky lads usually we would just knock you and put you in a cell. Anyway sorry Iv rambled a bit but it truly was the worse most expensive night ever.

 

 

Hopefully the copper will get stabbed in the face by a smackhead mate. Cling to that thought.

[Anny Road]

Sex offender for having a shite?

 

Coppers tried to make out he was exposing himself to passing vehicles

[Guest Jay W]

Coppers tried to make out he was exposing himself to passing vehicles

 

:smile:

 

My uncle nicked a lad once who was wanking whilst walking down the street behind two girls, and to make it worse he was sick all over the van. I think they need to use that example and compare it to having a shite.

[bri]

you mean 2 streetwise scousers from Bootle got done over by some birds from formby ;)

 

just goes to show crime is on it's arse in formby eh.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Hopefully the copper will get stabbed in the face by a smackhead mate. Cling to that thought.

 

 

Heres hoping, when I got in I put that youtube video true scouser on and had a wank (is that wrong ?)

[Stu Monty]

Heres hoping, when I got in I put that youtube video true scouser on and had a wank (is that wrong ?)

 

Yes. very wrong. I love reading comments on youtube, it's like a little window into how life would be if a train ran over your brain but you survived.

 

I don't dislike policemen as a rule but why is it that virtually every one of the cunts seems to have some sort of complex that they feel it's their place to act like they are the shereff of dodge county. Uphold the law you clown and stop with the petty intimidation and alluded threats of what you'll do if I don't stop doing perfectly lawful things.

 

Policemen who think dragging people out of cars and twatting them for giving the finger really need to be set upon by gangs of knife-weilding thugs; it's only fair.

[The Chief]

Sex offender for having a shite?

 

A mate of mine was out in town with his missus and he was dying for a piss, so he went down a little side street for one while his missus waited on the corner, a couple of coppers caught him and told him to put it away, he asked could he just finish his piss and told them his wife was waiting, but was told "put it away or go on the sex offenders register". So he had to put it away, quick, he pissed himself while the two twats stood laughing at him. Yes now when you go for a piss it's indecent exposure, even if the only person who sees you sees it every night. (besides the two bizzies that is)

 

my mate reckons they watched him and waited for him to start having a piss before going over.

[Momo Is A Beast]

Yes. very wrong. I love reading comments on youtube, it's like a little window into how life would be if a train ran over your brain but you survived.

 

i love this comment off that vid on youtube:

 

ha ha ha ur laff in that vid iz soooo funny!! the hole video iz jooooooke "u fuckin pair ov plant pots" hahaha...the lot ov ya shut up bowt anthony walker yer it were joey bartons bruvva hu dun it n any1 related 2 joey b iz innocent in my buks! bizzies r tossers :P

 

do you reckon they actually wrote like that in school? 'Iz' and 'Ov'

 

fuckin reprobates!

[Guest Jay W]

I have to laugh at all this "fuck the police" attitude seen on that vid, and reading the comments. So hard, kidda like, just so hard.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Dude, that's up there with Thursday night in Madrid. Some story there mate. We live and learn. Loved that "going to the beach line"

 

Just spoke to me mate then whos proper in the doghouse now with his bird, I cant stop laughing every time I think of him on the phone to her just before we went out, going "look Katie I'm going for a quiet drink with me mate and nothings going to happen to me, she replies "I just worry because I know the states you get in" he says "well your just goin to have to trust me then arnt you". Fast forward to 4am "Katie can you pick me up, Iv been fined, Iv lost me phone and am stuck in Thornton" hahahaha.