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kingkenny78

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Everything posted by kingkenny78

  1. kingkenny78
    One of the obvious advantages of the designated wank sock is that should an intruder enter your house through the night you have a ready made blunt instrument to hand. With the added bonus that it cannot be construed as a weapon in court in the same way as say, a baseball bat. Offensive yes. A weapon no. 'A burglar was found beaten to death today with a wank sock'
  2. kingkenny78
    Controversial one this. I would say Hoon-Die but am prepared to concede that I may be making a bold statement in this assertion. Kanye West, in his seminal pop hit 'Goldigger' refers to this increasingly popular and frugal Asian marque as a ' Hun-Day' but then, as one of our colonial cousins he's pretty much odds on to mispronounce the Queen's. I mean, Eye-raq for Iraq, a Rout for a Route and a Booey for a Bhoy? Pffffft.
  3. kingkenny78
    That wasn't a dig by the way mate. I'm always banging on about the mancs being the 'establishment' team ( they're certainly Sky's and salivating hairy hands Keys' team )and how refs, season in, season out, always seem to favour them. That and the whole Sir Alex, Sir Bobby and Sir Matt thing. Whilst our Bob and Bill, plus it should be said, the King, go largely unrecognised.
  4. kingkenny78
    Yep. Same old same old at Craven Cottage today. Vidic tries to remove an opponent's shirt in the box in full view of the ref and Fulham get fuck all. Shortly after there's a ball to hand by Duff in his own box and the cunt's falling over himself to whistle for a spot kick. Makes you want to vom. Paranoid ? Moi ?
  5. kingkenny78
    Those cheeky, chirpy cockanees have called us 'Mickey Mousers' for years. 'Kill the fackin' Mickeys' being an often heard urge on match days.
  6. kingkenny78
    To recap. You've had your tyres slashed and paint stripper on your motor. Your Dad has a posh new jag. You go to the gym. You suspect that the slasher / paint-stripping culprit is your neighbour's wife. I conclude that you have been banging your neighbour's husband whom you met on the treadmills at Bannatyne's. Your Dad has simultaneously been swinging a leg over your neighbour's wife of late, but has recently binned her for that foxy female salesperson in the tight skirt at Nantwich Jaguar. The neighbour's wife now has two reasons to hate your guts and this is manifesting itself in auto-related vandalism. The game is afoot! And your surname could well be Soprano.
  7. kingkenny78
    This has long been my cocktail of choice. A cola lover's cocktail.
  8. kingkenny78
    Acid bath.
  9. kingkenny78
    Fuckin thread. Been singing about a Knob Shack since yesterday.
  10. kingkenny78
    Even the orange one? Bleeurgh. Alright, peanut then. No wait, the Galaxy counter. My mate used to shovel Revels into his mouth in mixed handfuls. Big chewy chocolatey balls of orange, peanut and toffee. Sacrilege. Wasn't there a malteser in there too. And a coffee or coconut trial once upon a year?
  11. kingkenny78
    On the original thread, bet that Fishburne fella's furious.
  12. kingkenny78
    Ye dirty mongrel.
  13. kingkenny78
    Me. Just. What about a 'Trophy' later renamed 'Banjo'. Used to love them. Two bars like a Twix but more biscuity with nuts. Navy blue wrapper with yellow writing. Or a Texan?
  14. kingkenny78
    Dad's Army all the way. Arthur Lowe was brilliant in this.
  15. kingkenny78
    Aye. Stan the man, John Leslie, Sven, Les Ferdinand, Hunter out of Gladiatiors, Prince Edward and various sundry husbands and sperm donors. I'd still wash in their dirty water though. Sweating like John Leslie in the process...........
  16. kingkenny78
    You clearly haven't sampled the twin Scottish delights of a Tunnock's Caramel Log, or a Tunnock's Snowball. Both items liberally sprinkled with coconut. A taste sensation that pisses all over your Ruffle and one of the myriad reasons why Scottish-based dentists and Heart Surgeons live the lifestyles of top end Premiership footballers. With heavy heart, that'll be you and me outside then RiS.
  17. kingkenny78
    For a second there I thought this thread read: 'Swedish twins play squash on motorway' What are they hitting the ball off? A crash barrier? Were they topless? Anyway, I watched this last night and it was quite unnerving. Apparently they had no sign of drugs or alcohol in their systems. Then the one without the bent legs got released and stabbed some poor fella to death. Although spare me the Good Samaritan angle. He was clearly after some Swedish 'Nat King' when he took her home for a few cans after meeting her in the street when he was en-route home from his local. After murdering him the next morning, she walked along the road hitting herself on the head with a hammer, before smacking a motorist (who'd stopped to help her) over the head with a cunningly concealed roof tile (!). She then jumped from a bridge over a busy road and broke both her legs an all. Unbelievably strange. Tragic too. But not as strange as some cunt down the nick deciding she was to be released shortly after the initial M6 episode. If the behaviour she displayed there wasn't enough to be deemed a danger to the public ( and herself ) I don't know what is.
  18. kingkenny78
    Coconut all the way. Although I always preferred a Cabana to a Bounty. It was the added cherries in it that swung it. More cherries than Trevor and Neneh driving an old Datsun humming a UB40 hit. I'm loving raisin and biscuit Yorkies at the minute. Class. But slightly disappointing when they come out of the vending machine already broken.
  19. kingkenny78
    Anything that resembles an Animal House bash works for me. Or one of Hugh Hefner's soirees even. Get the number of Otis Day and the Knights.
  20. kingkenny78
    It was good. I'll be watching next week. Hope they do a modern take on the Baskervilles. Basil's still the man though.
  21. kingkenny78
    I got the old crest done on my right arse cheek in 1989. It's a bit, er, broader now than it was then. As is the 'Top Cat' I got done on the other cheek in 1990. And if any of you cunts don't like this revelation you can kiss whichever side takes your fancy. PS I met a fella in a Glasgow chip shop late one night many years ago and noticed that on the knuckles of his left hand he had the the letters GERS. When I asked ' you're a Rangers man then eh? ' he showed me the knuckles on his right hand where he had the letters FIN.........................
  22. kingkenny78
    RIP the Hurricane. Respect to the man who made a dull-as-fuck minority sports TV programme into an unmissable drama-on-the-baize phenomenon. G Richards knows the score. 'My Baby'.
  23. kingkenny78
    God awful. Thick cunts see those neck tatts as much of a fashion accessory as their trainees, bling or comedy sunglasses. Only that fashion's permanent. I grew up in the 70's / 80's and remember all the local skinheads having indian ink jobs on their foreheads, faces, hands etc etc and seeing them now in their forties with a big spider's web on the back of their now male pattern baldness head, 'cut here' on their throat or 'kick to kill' on their forearms, whilst pushing their grandkids pram, always makes me chuckle. 'what does kick to kill mean grandpa?'
  24. kingkenny78
    Sandman is right about the Mount Gay Barbados rum. One of the best. Try Cockspur an all. Or just go down your nearest Scottish local and have a good ol' OVD Demerara.
  25. kingkenny78
    I've decided that henceforth his Delta Kal Tai nickname shall be.......................Kaiser.
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