Uncle_Meat
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Everything posted by Uncle_Meat
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OK, I'll rephrase and explain myself a bit now you've posted those links. To me, murder is not justified in *any* circumstance. Call me a wet leftie or whatever, but no, I just could not do it intentionally no matter what the circumstances or justification. As to that horrid twat you've just posted about, I'd feel better knowing he is left to see out his days in a box with that on his conscience rather than have his death upon mine.
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Someone rep Noos for me. I nearly swallowed my roll-up laughing at that. In my eyes that makes you no better. 1+2=2, not 1+1=0
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Charlie Manson - Missundaztood Adolf Hitler - Mein Kamping Van. A European travelogue.
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Serious things you shouldn't laugh at
Uncle_Meat replied to She Knows It's topic in GF - General Forum
Not quite serious, but.. Quite windy here today, just talking to a mate of mine on the phone at the shop counter and someone walked past trying to put their umbrella up. A gust of wind caught them, spun them around and they faceplanted right into my window. Full on squashy nose faceplant, complete with both hands either side of their head before they slid down a bit and got their balance. Fuck me, I was in tears laughing at that. I don't think my CCTV "sees" out of that window properly, what with light balance and all that, but I'm going to have a look and youtube the fuck out of it if it does. -
I swear I'm going to lose the roof from my workshop soon if this does not let up, it's creaking and clonking like a bastard and I can hardly hear Radio 4 over the noise. It's not been raining that heavily lately here, but with the ground being waterlogged it's not taking much for places to flood again. Yesterday, the river was up to within about 20 ft of the bottom barn at my place, and at a mates farm yesterday he'd put a load of gravel down on the track that leads to his place and all that has washed away.
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Depends upon the circumstances. If it was a cruel and senseless killing, then yes. If it was an entirely justifiable reaction to someone putting tomato sauce in their bacon butty and they then killed by battery in an amusing fashion, say with a large comedy spoon or a dildo, then no.
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Just got off the phone to a customer. "Is my laptop ready yet?" I reply. "Might be, depends upon what your name is" "Why should that matter. Is it ready?" "I don't know, what's your.." Name, I was about to reply but I was then interrupted by "I just want to know if it's ready, you said a couple of days, it's been a couple of days. Is it done?" "Well, I have numerous laptops here and I don't know which one is yours as I don't know your ." Interrupted again. "Have you lost it? "I doubt it, but without knowing who you are, I cannot say if your particular laptop is ready, can I?" "Oh...." It is done, by the way, but she's deffo getting an extra £10 lobbed onto the price.
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I had to put a new bulb in the bathroom earlier this morning and that's almost exactly what my kharzi looks like from the top of the stepladders.
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Brilliant! Thing is, she's right.
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[YOUTUBE]4pKMV6e5kEo[/YOUTUBE]
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Ehh. Remember how you used to have to wait ages for the immersion heater to warm up when you wanted a bath? Eh.. Eh. Remember that? Funny that innit. And you'd have a cup of tea whilst waiting and ask if owt else wanted one. Cuppa mam? *does hand holding imaginary cup thing* Eh up, grand that. Like an episode of Catchphrase in our house. Say what you see. *cheeky grin to spinster in audience* Eh. Grand. There you go, just saved you buying one of his DVDs.
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I decided upon the best way of handling all this shit a while ago. Single, but keep a circle of friends with benefits. You just can't lose. Do what the fuck you like, which suits a vaguely antisocial sometimes selfish independant get like me, but still have the option of an occasional assisted emptying of your love spuds along the way with none of the drama but all of the hugs. Great! As for fleshlight/wanking machines, you can easily make your own ghetto one with some cardboard rolled up into a tube, some gaffer tape, the motor out of a PlayStation 1 controller with a penny glued to the spindle and a 6V lantern battery.
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Well, yes but yer ma can enhanced by the simple addition of "on toast" Try that with virgin. Virgin on toast is nowhere near as funny as yer ma on toast.
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Tell you what, she's done a decent job of getting her figure back after those 2 kids she had at 14 and 15. Must be all the exercise she gets from keeping a brick in her handbag.
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If only there was some kind of, I dunno, first and last solution to all this. The phrase is on the tip of my tongue.. Ending solution? Something like that. Of course. I jest. This is the GF after all. At least I'm not taking the piss out of the Geordies... Can't help but think that this is part of a double whammy of electioneering, and a bit of housekeeping in preparation for the gloves coming off against Iran.
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1. Get a picture of it in a compromising position with some puppies. 2. Post picture on facebook with comment "IN UR BASKITS, SNUGGZIN UR PUPZ" 3. Wait for dribbling mongs to put up a page calling your dog fit to burn, along with comments relating in great detail how the dog should be punished. 4. Let them
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Windows 8 is it worth upgrading 7 for
Uncle_Meat replied to celeryBADboy's topic in TNF - Techy Nerd Forum
This week alone, I've had 10 customers who have bought Windows 8 PCs. So far, 7 of them have asked if I can wipe it and install Win7 for them. Don't blame them, it's fucking horrendi to use. -
Has she got a sister/best friend you can plough? That usually puts the cat amongst the "Let's remain friends" pigeons. I'm still mates with all but one of my exes, but that's because I'm awesome/friendly/a mug (delete where applicable)
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Spurs could face police complaint because of fans' chant
Uncle_Meat replied to dirk grout's topic in FF - Football Forum
Self-hating Jews eh? Who'da thunk it? /stereotype -
Whenever someone mentions petting I always think of this. The pushing bit used to give me nightmares, the thought of a pair of disembodied hands floating in mid air around the swimming pool ready to give the unwary a quick shove in the back.
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Pah. I'm going to have to get into all that faggy stuff about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, and how looks fade with age but personality (brain fuckups withstanding) remains and so on. Besides, there's a lot more to relationships than getting your dick wet. A few of the main things I look for. Does she make me laugh. Can she hold a decent conversation with interesting options. Does she give good hugs and can she make a decent cup of tea. Especially the tea bit.
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I knew 2 brothers years ago called Paddy and Mick. To be fair, their parents did have a good sense of humour though.
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Would you sleep around while in a relationship?
Uncle_Meat replied to JohnnyH's topic in GF - General Forum
Where's the "Invite them for a threesome" option? Tried that a few times, not as glamourous as it's made out in porn. Frankly, I'd rather have a spiffing cup of tea and some biscuits instead most of the time.
